There's a big difference between running a finger on a child's neck or back to make them squirm and get goosebumps, or a quick tummy tickle when they're all clean and warm in the towel after their bath......and going at it until the poor kid is breathless and begging to stop.

I never heard anything about abuse starting with tickling but it makes sense. I had an uncle who never knew when to quit, with thumb wrassling, tickling, paper scissors rock, or whatever. I always ended up crying before it was over.

 

A little tickle is fine but I also had a older relative who didn't know when to quit. As a child, I hated to be around that man. He wasn't malicious, just ignorant.

 

I think the world will be a much sadder place if we stop tickling our kids. I was raised being tickled by immediate and extended family members. Certainly I'm refering to "appropriate" contact and some of my fondest bonding moments with my aunts and uncles was at their mercy wondering if I would be able to wiggle away long enough to get another breath......Sorry, but I have nothing but fond memories associated with that "torture".

 

Tickling is one of those things which, in small doses, can be a hilariously funny game, but in large doses can become torture. Kids don't know where to draw the line, so I think it needs to be a very controlled grown-up game - and a very brief one. For me, as either tickler or ticklee, a couple of finger strokes is quite enough, just as a gesture of affection, like a pat on the head.

When in doubt, don't!

 

Even as a child, I hated tickling..comparing it with torture. I also noticed that when I would cry, 'Stop!' adults would continue. Stop means stop! I never allowed tickling with my children.

 

I think tickling your little ones is fine and fun for the both of you as long as you don't go too far where they can't breathe and are begging you to stop.

My boys absolutely loved to play This Little Piggy when they were little. Always begged me for more. Of course I made sure the tickling was just fun and not overdone.

 

I pin my 7 year old down and tickle her until she cries from laughing so hard. I have done it for years. Of course, she loves it. She will beg me to tickle her. Ill tickle her until she says she cant breathe. Then, Ill let up and let her catch her breath before I go at it again. She really loves it. But, on the flip side, my 10 year old has always hated it. you can tickle her for about 3 seconds and then wants to get away from it. So, I do not tickle her like that, only every once and awhile Ill tickle her just a little bit. But, if I were to stop tickling my younger girl she would have a broken heart. She loves being attacked by the tickle monster.

 

I think as long as common sense is employed it is fine. If a child is laughing and having fun you can usually tell!

When my kids were little I did this thing I called the gitchy-bug (don't know why it was called that!) They would be laying by me on the bed and I would put my hand up in the air and kind of wiggle my fingers telling them the gitchy-bug was going to get them. Of course I tickled their bellies! They always laughed and laughed, then told me to stop and when I stopped they would yell, "Do it again Mommy!" Then I would do it again and instead of getting their bellies, I would "get" their chins, or their nose. It was always really fun I thought.

 

I was nonmaliciously tortured with tickle as a child and foofing (raspberry on the belly) as a teen. We tickle and foof but use the threat more than the deed as a game- our best wrestling is to try to access a belly to foof it- rarely accomplished in our home.

And we have drummed up the "rocket" to such a fanfare that we need only poke the navel briefly with finger tip at the end of the (think heat seeking missile complete with 10-9-8... count down to lift off) event.

 

I think as long as common sense is employed it is fine. If a child is laughing and having fun you can usually tell!

When my kids were little I did this thing I called the gitchy-bug (don't know why it was called that!) They would be laying by me on the bed and I would put my hand up in the air and kind of wiggle my fingers telling them the gitchy-bug was going to get them. Of course I tickled their bellies! They always laughed and laughed, then told me to stop and when I stopped they would yell, "Do it again Mommy!" Then I would do it again and instead of getting their bellies, I would "get" their chins, or their nose. It was always really fun I thought.

I agree, as long as you use common sense it should be ok. I doubt that my kids dislike being tickled when they are saying "Do it again, Mommy" too. :baby04:

 

Tickling can be all in fun... but it does have a darker side too. It can be abusive and controlling. It's not only children... teenaged girls who are being tickled unmercifully by their boyfriends may also be at risk. My ex did that to me when we were dating. Once. I laid open his arm with my fingernails... not maliciously, but because I was desperate. He felt it was an overreaction on my part and tried to make me feel guilty about it. (I didn't.) He never did it again though.

I've seen similar scenarios with young people since... and to me it is a major red flag. Please teach your children and teenagers that they have the right to say no... and that no means no, for tickling as well as inappropriate touching and unwanted advances of any type.

 

The giggle I get from Nina when I stick a finger in her tickle spot in the middle of her back or go for those tummy yummies would be sorely missed. By both of us. When I quit, she pulls my hand to tickle some more. But tickle time is gentle, not ruthless. I grew up with two older brothers that were actually mean about their tickling. Always tried to make me wet my pants. Why I don't know. I guess so they could tease about that. They never succeeded.

 

Everything in moderation. If you tickle too much you risk the kiddo peeing their pants.

With my 3 boys I have found that it is not a good idea to get them to wound up because they don't know when to tone it back down.

 

Even the "signing" chimps will ask for tickles. It can be carried too far. When the kid asks you to stop, you stop. When they ask you to start again, you do, if you feel like it.

Perverts like tickle games because it allows them to touch the child, and to pretend all innocence when their hands stray. You just have to listen to your kid.

 

Grrrrr My eldest enjoys a good tickle fest as does the youngest if they dont get tickled daily they think they are being ignored . I love my daughters and hug them often , we sit and snuggle and even after seven years I still wake up twice a night and check on them ( I have to feel their heart beat)
In most cases the tickling comes when its bedtime with the "night night sleep tight dont let the bed bugs bite ,sweet dreams ,I love you, go to sleep , Nite !" if the bed bugs dont bite (a quick tickle) they will wander out and tell you, you didnt do it right.
My mother in law made a comment about the girls being abused because they get tickled ( yeah they do by dad and mom ) . Considering some history such as her dating a child molester and marrying a prevert who used to steal my wifes undies when she was in middle school . I dont have much faith in her judgement. When she made her comment I asked her if she ever wanted to be welcome in our house?
Too many people are so sick they can see abuse in a parent hugging a child or kissing their child . I would hope that if anyone has such sick thoughts they would seek serious help for their condition.
I have absolutely no compassion for anyone who would harm a child. I also cant stand those who see a display of affection as abuse .
There is a line between affection and abuse some cross it and some see it as being crossed when it isnt.


P.S.
For those that recall Our 12 year old niece was abducted and raped back in aug. After being drug in to court numerous times and being force to face the animal . The creature has finally plead guilty, the DA says he should get 25 to life , family members are allowed to make arguments before he is sentenced .
Our niece does not have to attend the sentencing . We are praying this will end her nightmare and she can start healing.

 

In our home, "stop" means "stop". Our children were taught from a very young age that "stop" was a very powerful word that meant "I don't like this anymore, stop NOW".

That word has come in handy in a wide range of situations -- from stopping little ones in their tracks as they began to run into danger to stopping something as innocent as a tickle-fest that the tickler was enjoying more than the ticklee.

Outsiders who don't know the power of that word are told, once, clearly and concisely by either my DH or I. After that, if they don't listen, it's not nearly so polite.

"Stop" means "STOP THIS NOW". Period.

 

With my 3 boys I have found that it is not a good idea to get them to wound up because they don't know when to tone it back down.

My oldest son was like this also. All through his childhood, if you started playing with him he would get very wound up and not want to stop until you felt like screaming. In fact, he is 22 and I still see situations where you give him too much attention, I guess, and he gets waaaaayyyyyy carried away.

 

I think the world will be a much sadder place if we stop tickling our kids. I was raised being tickled by immediate and extended family members. Certainly I'm refering to "appropriate" contact and some of my fondest bonding moments with my aunts and uncles was at their mercy wondering if I would be able to wiggle away long enough to get another breath......Sorry, but I have nothing but fond memories associated with that "torture".

Me, too. I loved those breathless moments and the people who knew how much was "enough."

 

When I was very young (5 or 6) my older sisters would tickle me until I thought I was going to die. To this day, if you ever want to hit the ground like a semi conscious sack of wet cement, tickle me.

 

Dh and I both tickled our children and they loved it! Now they have children and they still use the 'tickle monster'. Two or three fingers moving through the air and then the monster 'attacks' with tickles.. Our grands love it also. Dh and I have always hugged and kissed our children. We scratched itchy backs, rubbed heads, tummies, feet and legs when they hurt or didn't feel good!

Some people see bad things in EVERYTHING.. I think it would be a sad world if a loving adult can't hug, kiss, tickle, laugh with a child!!

And I do know first hand, the lines, tacts and ploys of prevert!! And I'll bet 90% of kids KNOW the difference..Queen Bee

 

Its a shame that we as a society have reached the point that we are afraid to touch, tickle, wrestle or pillow fight with out being afraid that we will be accused of molesting our kids. When we have come that far, we have come to far. My kids are grown and have a family of their own, with the best (I THINK) grandkids in the world. And when this old paw paw wants to tickle them, he is. I am not going to let the scum of the earth, perverts, take that away from me or my grandkids. From what I,ve always gathered from playing and tickling kids is it may help cause a happy family and a happy home, at least all that I knew was happy. :flame: Eddie (paw paw)

 

As a child, I had relatives who knew when to quit and I had other relatives who didn't. I remember good times and bad times. I remember who to trust and who not to trust.

As an adult I don't accept tickles; exception: I have tickled my young nieces and me tickling them (and getting tickles) lasts about 5-10 seconds and its over, to keep it light. Never until anyone is breathless.

 

It's a fine line between fun and torture.

 

My kids are the ones that won't stop tickling ME.

Actually I think it's a good lesson in teaching kids assertiveness in saying STOP and expecting that their wishes are respected. And also to respect when others say stop.

 

I despise being tickled. I do tickle my kids though, because they enjoy it. They have learned not to reciprocate because tickling to me is torture. Me and some of the kids were tickling on the bed and one of them tickled me and I blurted out, "Don't or I will throw you across the room!" It just came out and we all cracked up about that. That is now one of the popular sayings in our house, "I will throw you across the room!" DH knows not to tickle me, all he has to do is put a finger in my rib and I am in agony. I agree with others, stop is stop!