Um -- rent subsidy and food stamps are welfare, so let's clear that misconception up right away. You ARE getting welfare.

I gather from your post you are not employed since you stay home and homeschool your children 7 - 8 hours a day. Or do you have a night job to earn $$? If the former, I guess my question (and this is not a criticism) is what values are you teaching your children if you are not working to support them? I don't see anything in the Bible about not working to pay your way in the world. The person you mention who is working full time to support her children while still receiving welfare appears to be trying to get ahead and be a good example to her family. (Again, not a criticism), but what example are you showing to your kids?

Whether you send your children to public school or not doesn't cost anyone directly, at least I don't think so. So I'm not sure that argument stands. I have never had children but still had to pay school taxes on property I owned. That's part of being a member of society.

As to people criticizing you, you have the choice whether to buy into a guilt trip or shake it off. If you are feeling guilty, then own up to that and re-examine your priorities. If you are not feeling guilty, then shake off the nay-sayers.

 

There is nothing necessarily wrong with homeschooling, nor is there something necessarily wrong with sending kids to public education. The implication in the OP is that somehow going to public school would deny the children to be taught religion is troubling, but not my kids, not my decision.

Not sending your kids to school likely doesn't make much of a difference unless they would be getting free lunch. It isn't like 1 kid less allows them to staff less or spend less on utilities and such. It is probably a fraction of a dollar on the average cost, without actually changing the total budget for the school system any.

 

Okay just to clarify a couple of things. I have been homeschooling my kids for a few years now and my youngest is too young for the public kindergarten. So they would have to be in a state run, taxpayer funded daycare if I were to work. I had a contract job working online through an Internet assessment website from when I lost my fiancé last spring until this fall. I have been looking for more work for home opportunities since my contract ended two and a half months ago.
Sending kids to public school does cost taxpayers money, and it is per child. There is a charter school here that offers homeschooling curriculums. The school is very specific that they get a certain amount of dollars per student that is signed up. From that amount each homeschooling family signed up through the charter gets three thousand dollar of that funding to buy supplies and pay for private lessons.
I do appreciate your feedback and criticism. I am also hoping to hear from homeschooling moms and get their opinions on if they would continue to homeschool if their husband or fiancé passed away. I had never thought I would be in this situation, and had though I would always be a stay at home, homeschooling mom.
The majority of the single parents I know who work full time get paid less per month than what the government pays in daycare subsidies since daycare is not free. Which my youngest would be doing if I were to work out of the home. The same is true for children in public education, it is not free but instead paid for by the government and the taxpayers.
I believe one of the examples I am setting for my children is that family values run deeper than societal norms and to blindly obey authority figures. I am also teaching my children to take the Bible literally and say grace before each meal and to read and discuss scripture throughout the day.

 

If you are getting more from the government than you are paying in taxes you are getting welfare. It is simple math. However it is how you are using that welfare to move forward towards not getting more than you put in is the key to most.

It should be a stepping stone in my opinion. Your values may be to take and uphold your family values but that may not be the values of your neighbor. Being a stay at home mom is just not in the cards for everyone.

 

I believe one of the examples I am setting for my children is that family values run deeper than societal norms and to blindly obey authority figures.

Why are you teaching your children to blindly follow authority figures?

 

If your one child is too young for kindergarten, have you checked with your local district about any district programs that they may have for preschool aged children? Many districts have free or low cost programs. Mine has programs for children from 6 months on up. It's worth a phone call.

I think the criticism you are hearing from your neighbors stems from frustration. They see themselves trying to balance working full time as well as parenthood while others appear to be sitting on their fannies (just saying that it appears to be this from the outside) letting others pay their way. It's a valid criticism.

It sounds from your original post that you feel that you can't teach your children about the Bible if they go to public school or that somehow they won't be able to think and learn if they attend public school. This is not the case.

I know you had planned on being a stay at home, homeschooling parent throughout your children's lives but sometimes life tosses us a curve ball and forces us to change our plans. It sounds like life has changed for you right now. You may have to put your plans on hold temporarily.

I know you asked for opinions and not advice, but I'm going to toss you some advice anyway. If it were me, I think I would look into what early childhood programs are available for the younger child. If there weren't any programs that would be a good fit, I'd find the best daycare that I could. I'd put the older one into public school. Then I'd find the best job that I could get until I was able to find the online opportunities you posted about. Get yourself on your feet financially so that you can restart your homeschooling journey. Just my 2 cents worth.

Good luck to you regardless of what path you choose.

 

Why are you teaching your children to blindly follow authority figures?

That is called a typo or a mistake of auto correct. Don't worry when I wrote my twenty page thesis on child development I used an editor. Thant you for pointing out my mistake so others will not be confused in the future.

 

Hugs' and thank you for the wonderful feedback, I appreciate your opinion. I have worked at two of the government run head start centres. I even brought my oldest with me to work when they were too young for the preschool. It was one of the last jobs I have had. The program here is overcrowded and only three hours a day. I do not think that would leave me with too much time to look for or pick up work.
Perhaps when my youngest is old enough for a full day of school it might be plausible to find a job without taking a greater handout from the government to pay for subsidized daycare. I think that is what really urks me. Many of the other moms act like they are getting less than I am from the government, yet the daycare subsidies exceeds their monthly incomes. So even though they are working full time, they too hare letting others pay their way.
I know I can still teach my children to follow God's word, but when I see how horribly mannered the public school children at the playground are it truly shocks me. At the city park there will be little kids, six or seven, shouting obscenities and bullying other kids. It leaves me in utter shock that children behave that way!
I love your fourth paragraph, I think it has helped me Realize that I am still in the process of coping with change. By accepting and embracing that change I can begin to move forward. I suppose the first step is to find an acceptable charter school for my children to attend next fall when my youngest is old enough. I truly like the way you have made me feel that both situations can be temporary.
As far as the best job I can find, I have been out of work for years. Prior to children I worked part time in a few preschools and as a waitress. I think spending a decade as a stay at home mom and small time milkmaid/gardner is not going to land me any top dollar job. I wonder if there is a local cheese factory? Anyways, I while I am researching charter schools in depth I will work on my resume in depth as well.


.

If your one child is too young for kindergarten, have you checked with your local district about any district programs that they may have for preschool aged children? Many districts have free or low cost programs. Mine has programs for children from 6 months on up. It's worth a phone call.

I think the criticism you are hearing from your neighbors stems from frustration. They see themselves trying to balance working full time as well as parenthood while others appear to be sitting on their fannies (just saying that it appears to be this from the outside) letting others pay their way. It's a valid criticism.

It sounds from your original post that you feel that you can't teach your children about the Bible if they go to public school or that somehow they won't be able to think and learn if they attend public school. This is not the case.

I know you had planned on being a stay at home, homeschooling parent throughout your children's lives but sometimes life tosses us a curve ball and forces us to change our plans. It sounds like life has changed for you right now. You may have to put your plans on hold temporarily.

I know you asked for opinions and not advice, but I'm going to toss you some advice anyway. If it were me, I think I would look into what early childhood programs are available for the younger child. If there weren't any programs that would be a good fit, I'd find the best daycare that I could. I'd put the older one into public school. Then I'd find the best job that I could get until I was able to find the online opportunities you posted about. Get yourself on your feet financially so that you can restart your homeschooling journey. Just my 2 cents worth.

Good luck to you regardless of what path you choose.

 

1. Stop caring what others think. It's not their life, so they can butt out.

2. Do not compare yourself to ANYONE. Ever.
The only person you should compare yourself to is Christ, and that is who you strive to be like. No one else.

3. Obama and his cronies have made it very easy to not work.
It has NOTHING to do w/ 'living wages'.......in 1950, single moms worked 2 jobs, or got educated and lived at or below her wages.
Again, this is why you cannot compare yourself/situation to anyone elses.

4. What do you want your kids to remember? Only you can answer that.
You are teaching The Word, that is their foundation in life.
You are teaching reading, writing and math.
Are you teaching civics, work ethic, budgeting, entrepreneurism, etc.
Real world stuff.
What are you teaching them, by your actions? Your words?

(( I homeschooled; all 3 of my kids are over 21, and 2 of the 3 are doing AMAZINGINGLY ))

5. Real life lessons trump book lessons, every time.

 

That is called a typo or a mistake of auto correct. Don't worry when I wrote my twenty page thesis on child development I used an editor. Thant you for pointing out my mistake so others will not be confused in the future.

I did not know if it was a mistake or not. Some people do teach their children to be overly obedient. I have just never understood why.

 

Don't you get social security for at least one of the kids?

Mon

 

As a homeschool mom myself, I would do just about anything in my power to keep homeschooling my children. I have a deep appreciation for the value it has to my family.

I agree with Laura, stop worrying about what others think and do what's best for *your* family. You are still in the process of adjusting to a new situation, this is what these programs are set up to be, a stepping stone while you get back on your feet. I'm sure you don't envision that you will be doing exactly the same thing 5 years down the road.

 

I would not discuss my finances, or where my money came from with anyone. You do what is best for your family, you don't have to explain,to basically a stranger in your complex, your reasons for homeschooling. I did not homeschool, but would never even consider challenging some one else's choices. Ask yourself where these people will be in relationship to your life in 5 years from now.

 

Have you considered taking in another child or two for another mom to bring in some extra money? I would definitely look into that so you could be earning some extra income AND still be home with your kids.

I have homeschooled for the past 19 year and it has been the best thing I could have ever done for my kids but honestly, if something happened to my husband, I more than likely would have sent them to school so I could work and keep us afloat. Sending your kids to school does not mean that they would stray from God and never know what the Bible says because you have them for more time than school does and your influence is great. Live the Gospel at home and the kids know it whether they go to school or not. Homeschooling will not guarantee that they will walk with the Lord later (goodness knows SO many kids who were homeschooled when I homeschooled my older girls have now turned their backs on God) so don't think that homeschooling is a perfect protection.

You do what you need to do. If that means that you need to homeschool your kids for a few years and watch a couple of other people's kids to be able to stay afloat, do it. I do understand what people on the outside are seeing and why they are frustrated but you can prove them wrong. Work hard, raise great kids and find some way to bring in extra money and bring your family to a better place financially. You can do it!

 

I would wonder at the answer to Frogmammy's question.

How many children do you have and are their father/s being held to financial support of their children?

I support home schooling and when you add the cost of per child public education you are not being a leach. I would warn you though, all the learning probably shouldn't be in the fun category. That is not realistic prep for real life...

 

We raised three kids in public school; when the youngest was 16 we took on our nieces as long term temporary guardians. I did not want to deal with public school "stuff" with kids while I was in my 60s. My other choice was to homeschool. Best choice I ever made.
Our nieces are now our adopted daughters. We're in our 4th year of homeschool. We had a home based job so it works financially for us as well. IF i could do it all over again the only thing I would change is that I would have found a way to homeschool the oldest 3 kids.

As you get older - you care less what others think of what you do. If I had a nickel for every time someone asked why my kids weren't in school, I'd never have to work -- ever. My typical answer is "we homeschool". Most times I get positive feedback. Occassionally I get negative comments. I really don't care what someone else thinks. No one else has to be with us 24/7 and we are healthy and happy and it works for us!

If YOU aren't happy with your current financial situation then you can change it. There are some free homeschool sites out there that may cut down on your prep time some.

In Ohio I pay my taxes and school levies etc. AND have to pay for whatever I need for homeschooling. I actually PAY MORE to homeschool than people pay to put their kids in public school.

DO whatever works for your family - make decisions you can live with long term.

There are too many people who can't wait to get away from their kids and want them to go back to school after a break. What does that say about THEIR parenting skills?

 

We homeschool and if anything happened to my husband, I would do anything to continue homeschooling. I would not send my children to school.

It sounds to me that you are still recovering from the loss of your fiance and where you are now does not mean, you are going to be there few years from now. Do you have family around? Maybe kids could stay with them while you are at work. No one says you have to do school on the exact same schedule as public schools. Are you connected to other homeschoolers in your area? There may be other single parents who you could trade time with taking care of kids while the other is at work.

How old are your kids? Can the oldest watch the younger ones while you work from home? There are home jobs out there and I bet that if you put time into looking for one, you will find one.

Best wishes ... and don't worry what anyone else says. Like others suggested, I would not discuss my finances with anyone but closest family. It's no one else's business.

 

I also had another thought ... it may be a good time to revisit the curriculum you are using. There are many options out there that do not require extensive prep time and are geared towards independent study - that way you can give work to one child while you study with another. If you can cut down the time you spend doing school work, you will have more time to focus on getting work, etc.

 

I guess what really got me thing about it all was when I was investigating homeschooling through the charter school. When they explained they received a certain amount per kids which was more than my housing and food benefits combined, it got me thinking. I am truly hoping between now and when my youngest can start kindergarten next fall I am able to find a better work at home opportunity. I love the idea of taking in a preschool aged kid or two to make a little extra money.
I really feel that there is a difference between raising a child up in His word and just going to church on the weekend. It seems to me like you understand the difference. Even if I were to work full time I would still be receiving food and rental benefits, plus costing taxpayers a daycare subsidy and the cost of public education. It is not like working as a single mom of two kids will pay enough to get off assistance and be a liveable wage. Unless I find the best tipping restaurant out there.
I want my kids to remember scripture and how to live in the footsteps of Christ. I want my kids to know their food comes from volunteering at a community garden, or grinding the wheat berries to make a loaf of sourdough. I want my kids to know their cloth does not have to be cool and it is okay to turn their favourite old tshirt into a patch on a skirt there making me for Christmas.

We study an array of history, social studies and ethics in thematic units. Right now my oldest is obsessed with the Victorian era and is working on calculating the metric weights for baking over Christmas into regular weights and then to measuring cups.
We do a bit of volunteer baking for some of the elderly in our apartment complex and helped with baking extra dishes for our church to distribute at Thanksgiving. I would love to be able to sell my canned salsas, soups, sauces as well as bread and cheeses again. Foolishly when siging up dor food stamps I asked and was specifically told if I am caught selling any food items I will loose my foodstamps unless I can prove in court that every item was not bought with foodstamps.
I just typed up a much longer reply that I had intended, hopefully it covered some of the points that I did not directly address.

 

... I am truly hoping between now and when my youngest can start kindergarten next fall I am able to find a better work at home opportunity.

Great! Sounds like you have a plan.

I really feel that there is a difference between raising a child up in His word and just going to church on the weekend. It seems to me like you understand the difference. Even if I were to work full time I would still be receiving food and rental benefits, plus costing taxpayers a daycare subsidy and the cost of public education. It is not like working as a single mom of two kids will pay enough to get off assistance and be a liveable wage. Unless I find the best tipping restaurant out there.
I want my kids to remember scripture and how to live in the footsteps of Christ. I want my kids to know their food comes from volunteering at a community garden, or grinding the wheat berries to make a loaf of sourdough. I want my kids to know their cloth does not have to be cool and it is okay to turn their favourite old tshirt into a patch on a skirt there making me for Christmas.

Whether you send your kids to school or not is your decision. But I really question your stance on the items I've marked in bold. How on earth does your working to better your financial situation and sending your kids to school prevent you from doing any of the above?

You've chosen not to work for an income so you can stay home with your kids -- that is your decision and is perfectly fine. But don't try to tell me or anyone else that because you homeschool, you or your kids are somehow holier or better than those who do send their children to school. Sending your kids to school in no way interferes with your ability to teach them Christianity, good values, a good work ethic, sewing, gardening or anything else.

 

I hope you won't feel guilty about anything.

 

I really feel that there is a difference between raising a child up in His word and just going to church on the weekend.

I want my kids to remember scripture and how to live in the footsteps of Christ. I want my kids to know their food comes from volunteering at a community garden, or grinding the wheat berries to make a loaf of sourdough. I want my kids to know their cloth does not have to be cool and it is okay to turn their favourite old tshirt into a patch on a skirt there making me for Christmas.

Realize that having your kids in school does not mean that this cannot still happen. It's not an either-or situation. I have one still homeschooled, one in high school at the local public school, one in grad school who lives in the city during the week (she has her own apartment there but comes home on the weekends) and one who lives at home and is a high school substitute teacher. I still do all of these things with all of them even though only one is home during the schooling hours. Just yesterday, we had a big spiritual lesson based on something that happened at youth group and when my daughter (the homeschooled one) and I got home, we talked about what happened as a family and what God wants our response to be. The only one not present was my grad school daughter. Having the kids away from us for part of the day does not mean that our influence is removed from them and even with them in school, we still have the greater part of their time to work with them, teach them, admonish them and instruct them in the Lord.

 

While I'm not sure I understand or agree with 100% of HBM's reasoning about saving taxpayers money with her choices, I think most of us haven't walked in her shoes as a single mom. Kids being gone for only the short hours of being in school isn't an insurmountable road block to influencing them during the rest of the hours of the day. But if HBM puts the kids in school and takes a job, she's almost certainly going to be separated from them for many more hours than just the school hours. It's pretty difficult to have lengthy heart to hearts with kids about their daily activities in the rush between picking up from day-care, eating something for dinner and getting to bed on time to get up for the school bus in the AM.

HBM, it's great that you're willing to listen to advice from others, but at the end of the day, you call the shots about how you support yourself and educate your kids. Guilt is a tool of our enemy to discourage and confuse us. If something is coming from God it will be in the form of conviction and bear fruit of hope and enthusiasm. Press on!

 

This isn't GC but I had to reply to this. I disagree with your 'if you are getting more than you pay in' definition of welfare. Welfare is any money the government gives directly to an individual which benefits that individual directly and only that individual unless the money is payment for a good or service.

I can agree with that clarification.

 

Good evening to all- Very interesting discussion here.
I have nothing to say about the original post and poster- except I thank God I am not in her situation.

About Watcher's comments- I taught school for nearly 40 years. I put myself- with my parents' help- through college. My wife and I put our kids through college. We never asked for nor accepted a penny of government assistance.
I pay my taxes, and I gratefully pay my taxes. I do not resent paying taxes to support government programs which help others. I feel paying taxes is a privilege which is earned by being a citizen, and if some other people don't pay taxes and do receive government payment because they are not working- well, I expect that situation will change in time. If it does or does not- I still am grateful to pay my taxes.

And as far as Watcher's resenting other people "leeching" off the government- I would rather support a thousand "leeches" than know that one child was going hungry. Watcher, you have obviously never tried to teach a child who comes to school hungry.

No, I do not resent government welfare programs. They are not perfect. There are abuses. But these programs do feed and otherwise help some children who can't fend for themselves, and that makes "welfare" totally supportable, in my opinion.

Watcher- and people who see the world as apparently Watcher does- please be careful of how you judge others. We are none of us very far removed from being in desperate shape- financially and personally- at any time.

There but for the grace of God...

Good evening to all- Ed Mashburn