JJ Grandits said:
Just take it all with a grain of salt. I really believe no harm or condemnation was intended. Could the "bad Look" you saw be a reflection of how you felt? I try to do all I can for others, and sometimes I want to but just can't and sometimes get the same feeling. I would definately not find another church over it. Too many people leave great churches over small things. WE pray for forgiveness but have such a hard time finding in ourselves.
I usually don't read the "god" threads anymore but this issue could be applied across any group which relies on the charity of its members to function. From churches which do bake sales (and hit on Granny for cookies once a month) to my personal favorite... the co-worker who shows up with anything from chocolate to cheap wrapping paper which they expect to shill to raise money for one school related activity or another. There is simply a point where you can't support them all. And long before you hit that point there is probably a point where resentment starts setting in. I've got enough wrapping paper so I've officially reached Stash In Excess Of Life Expectancy. And still I'm expected to buy more!
Or suffer.. The Look.
I seriously doubt Rockpile imagined The Look. People who give The Look are very good and often subtle about it, but the message is clear: Who do you think you are? Cough it up you cheap so and so or I'll let everyone know how ungenerous you really are.
Now... the person giving the look has no way of knowing how generous Rockpile (or you or I) have been over the past year. You get The Look when you're in the supermarket and the clerk says "buy a Santa Hat for a $1 for United Way?" You know... those paper tickets in the shape of the holiday du jour which they stick your name on and tape to the windows to show how persuasive they've been at fund raising. Now, it is "only" a dollar. And you've just run $40 worth of groceries through, so we're talking a "tax" of only 2.5% here.
Oookay.. so how many of you would support a 2.5% tax hike on groceries... show of hands please? Nobody? Right. Furthermore that $1 donation isn't trackable, and thus not tax deductible. But it sure is effective because you can guilt trip people into coughing up more for charity than they can really afford to give over a year by diddling them one bite at a time.
Professional fundraisers have taken this diddling to a high art form, and any of you with elderly parents would be well advised to make a point of going over their checkbooks and credit card statements regularly. I intercepted a phone call (and this was 10 years ago, they've only gotten more sophisticated about it, and it has been picked up by those looking to obtain credit cards fraudulently) to my grandmother from none other than Amnesty International. A reputable charity and one on my grandmother's end of year list. I took the call after she got flustered and I heard her say "I'm sure I sent you a check, but let me get my credit card."
I got on the phone and asked for a call back number... so we had time to check the checkbook. Whereupon they got beligerant. Of course she'd written her annual donation... they were trying to squeeze more out of her. I stopped contributing to my local PBS and public radio for the same reason... faux "bills" which went out every 3-4 months trying to diddle for extra money, culminating with a notice in January stating you'd given roughly twice what you'd budgeted for and asking for the same amount plus more in the upcoming year.
So. I am in favor of the firm "not at this time" response. But Rockpile's is a special situation because (at least in VT) a donation of meat can't be made unless the meat has been inspected and processed in a USDA facility. Here that adds $65 to the cost of the meat... and unless you've got some pretty chunky deer down there, that brings the price per pound up to the high end gourmet level.
In fact, for most people, venison is exotic meat... high end, expensive (very expensive) gourmet stuff. People seeking handouts do not get venison, they get ground chuck. Rather in the same way that if I'm going to help out a family who needs something in their cupboard I'm not going to rifle my freezer for lamb rib chops, I'm going to give them cheap, wholesome, protein in the form of...
eggs.
"Meat" is not a necessity, protein is. Venison is a luxury item to most people in the world. It is absolutely not a necessity when eggs are selling at $1/dozen. And it is surely more expensive, after processing, than cheap chuck.
Next time, hand the man a dollar and tell him to go buy some eggs for the woman if she's that short of protein in her diet.
