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Uber Tuber
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
 

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If I need a Shelter
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21,628 Posts
Can relate to over half of them.:rock:

big rockpile
 

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Karaoke Queen
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964 Posts
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. DEPENDS ON WHAT SHE'S SMOKIN'!

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. AND OIL, TRANNY FLUID, BRAKE FLUID, AND FULL BEER CANS OR ALCOHOL BOTTLES

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. TO THE SAME GUY WOULD BE EVEN WORSE

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. AND SHE HAS HER OWN BALL IN A BROWN PAPER BAG

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. ******** USE SERVICE STATION REST-ROOMS?

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.' IF MORE THAN ONE PERSON DIES, ALL THE FUNNIER!

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. IT'S DON JULIO IF YOU MUST KNOW!

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. SO NOW SHE SHAVES IT

9. Your junior prom offered day care. OH HECK, THERE IS DAY CARE IN ALL OF JUNIOR HIGH!

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. ' IT ISN'T?

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. NO WHEELS, THE CONCRETE BLOCKS CRACKED, DOES THAT COUNT?

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. THAT WOULD BE ZERO FOR BOTH

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. DON'T NEED A FRIG OUTSIDE. USE A COOLER IN THE RIVER!

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. CONCEIVED TOO

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. AS YOUR POINTING OUT YOUR LAST FREE TAT!

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. WELL YA CAN STILL GET MARRIED, JUST DON'T GET CAUGHT

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Well, that was fun! I think I've watched too much Bubba J!
 

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Rebelicious
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574 Posts
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. '

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Wow alot of those insults/stereotypes could also apply to those who live in the hood, ya think?
 

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Uber Tuber
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6,287 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Wow alot of those insults/stereotypes could also apply to those who live in the hood, ya think?
Pffft!

These aren't insults! One of the hallmarks of true ******** is their self deprecating sense of humor. The best ******* jokes come from ******** themselves. Redneckism is part of Americana! No other country can lay claim to it. It is ours, and American ******** rule the realm of redneckism!

Now stereotypes is a whole nother ball of wax. ******** are stereotyped, as are all groups. What can you do?

As to your reference to those who live in the hood, where did that come from?
 

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Milk Maid
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2,873 Posts
It's interesting to me that there are "********" in South Africa too, but it has a different meaning there.

There is a friendly (and sometimes not) rivalry between white people in SA of Dutch descent, and those of British descent.

Growing up, we would tease the Afrikaans (dutch descent) children with a little rhyme...
"Afrikaner, frot banana." Which just means Afrikaner, rotten banana. It rhymed so nicely.

They in turn would call the english children a variety of names - one of them being "rooinek" which translated means *******. Of course they didn't mean ******* like you know it, but were referring to the fair skin of british people that would burn and turn red under the African sun. I always thought it funny when they called me that because I'm from both dutch and british descent and my skin doesn't burn, it tans.

Where does the US term "*******" come from?
 

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Premium Member
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24,573 Posts
Same thing WildernesFamily...******* refers to the farmer's sunburned neck that he obtained working in the fields all day. The late great Lewis Grizzard did a wonderful recording about how proud he was to be from ******* stock.
 

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Registered
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6,089 Posts
My mother in law lost her husband a little over 3 years ago. Less than a year later she was married to his brother. She's pretty close!!
 

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Premium Member
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1,242 Posts
******* Driving Etiquette

1.Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

2.When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

3.Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

4.When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

5.Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

6.Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.

7.Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
 

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Milk Maid
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2,873 Posts

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Uber Tuber
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6,287 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Ooohhh lookie, the ******* street painters had a busy day!

 
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