Homesteading Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,795 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I was out with my children in Enid yesterday as my daughter had dance class and hubby had to work....we usually do *everything* together as a family (even grocery shop!)

anyways, I noticed while out and about with my children, it seemed that more men opened or held open doors for me and the children than when DH is with me. Maybe it is all in my imagination.

I always hold the door for someone who is relatively close to it. I think it is rude for a door to shut between people when the next person is going to open it just as it completely closes. I will allow older men and women to pass before me (I am only 28) and will always allow 'hurried'-looking mom's to go before me... Now if I and my children have reached the door first, I usually go in with my kids but then hold the door for the person behind me

I just really noticed it yesterday when it happened twice. The first time, a man was getting ready to go through the door and instead he held it so my children and I could pass through first....I didnt see the man at first because we approached from different directions (he was coming in and we were going out) and at the 2nd location the man had reached the door before we did but once he saw that we were on our way in too, he quickly backed up and allowed us to go first.

Men, do you find that you are more apt to hold the door for a woman than a man?
Do you regularly allow others to go before you?
Women, do you hold the door for others?
Are there certain kinds of people that you are more apt to do this for?

Rachel
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,499 Posts
I do like you, I hold the door open for someone who's elderly, handicapped, a mother herding her little ones, etc., and when I go thru a door, I hold the door for the person behind me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,492 Posts
I can't say I recall anyone, male or female, holding a door for me, but maybe there has been, I can't remember. People around here are just oblivious most of the time.

I usually do hold the door for someone behind me, and I always let an elderly person, handicapped, harassed mother with kids etc. go in front of me and hold the door. Sometimes I'm amazed at how heavy some doors are--the ones at the post office here weigh a ton and I've seen little old ladies struggle to get one open!

I often will hold an elevator door for someone that comes running to catch it before the doors close. I've seen some people just stand there and let the doors close, and I feel like saying 'duh, hello? are you oblivious or what?'

Like I said, people around here are totally unaware that there are other people around them, they just go about their business as if they are the only ones in the store or on the sidewalk or whatever.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
865 Posts
Everyday someone holds the door open for me, when I'm alone and with the kids in tow. It is something that men are much more likely to do than women. Very rarely do women hold the door open.

I hold the door open for anyone who is approaching the door first or anyone who is behind me. It is just being courteous.

Maybe Alaskans are just friendlier. :)
 

·
joy seeker
Joined
·
1,482 Posts
Whereas it may have started as a men to women courtesy, nowadays I think tis mere courtesy overall--at least in my experience/opinion. I know I've always held doors if someone is close by going in or out....

Our 14-year old son is a door-holder bigtime. He never lets a door close if somebody is almost there, in fact, he smiles at them and says 'after you'. I don't remember really teaching it to him, per se. We get comments on his manners all the time--such a coolie kid :)

~~
 

·
Tub-thumper
Joined
·
1,588 Posts
I always feel good when someone holds a door for me so I do the same for others.

I'll step back and hold the door for those who look unsteady on their feet, the UPS guy if he's balancing a pile of packages, an elderly person, etc. and for everyone else, I'll make an effort to keep the door open behind me as I pass through.

/VM
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,597 Posts
I hold the door whenever I see someone coming toward it, and my children are taught to do the same. We will also hurry to help if we see an elderly or handicapped person.

Men will go out of their way, even when with their wives, to help me. On our last trip to town, I was loading a bag of dog food into the cart and a man came from about 8 feet away where he was standing with his wife and said, "let me get that for you." I was trying to reach something from the top shelf and a man passing by with another man reached up, asked if that was the right thing, and asked if I wanted more than one. When we were leaving we passed a family with a boy about 14 as we passed out the first set of doors. The dad told the boy to run back to the outer doors and hold them for me. When we got to the car, two men offered to help me load it.

During the same trip several women commented on how well behaved my children are and how neat it is to see a large family (all were older and one commented she had been the oldest of 13). One woman made a derogatory comment about our family size. One, who was waiting to get fabric cut when I still had 5 more to go, made a comment about how freaks should have their own shopping mall. The one behind us in line at the checkout kept rolling her eyes, huffing, sighing, and made a remark about how SOME people need to get back to work and there ought to be a special line for productive people.

I went into so much detail because it was a normal shopping trip and so you would see why I feel the way I do. I wear long dresses and a head covering. My 5 daughters wear long dresses and all but the infant have hair past their waists. Little girls often comment that it looks like Little House on the Prairie. :) My boys wear pants and shirts - no shorts or tank tops.

My theory is this: feminism has ruined chivalry. Men look at me and can tell that it is ok to offer help without getting their heads bitten off. Younger women (I'd say anyone under 40) look at me and think I want to drag them back to the dark ages where I live.

Anyway, my boys are taught to hold the door and offer help. They have been brushed off, but they learn it because it is right.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,786 Posts
I always hold the door for whomever is close to it. At work, I have been known to leave my register in order to hold the door for an elderly customer with a heavy cart. My sons have always held doors for women of all ages, even for their sisters. (who, according to tradition, are not really girls at all, but aliens) It's just the polite thing to do. As rude as teen boys can be, they would never NOT hold a door, carry a package, etc, for a lady.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
692 Posts
In Spanish-speaking and Scandinavian cultures, it is considered flirting if a man goes out of his way to open a door for a woman. This is also the case with Hispanics in the U.S., and in places like Texas this can cause some very awkward situations. If you were in Mexico, you sure-as-heck wouldn't open a door for a lady whose husband was right there with her. If you did, you might be regaled with a string of words that aren't found in your little Spanish tourist glossary.

Jeffery
 

·
Milk Maid
Joined
·
2,873 Posts
I've had doors held open for me, and I hold doors open for whoever is close. Or if I see someone that needs help with a door I'll go open and hold it open for them. I teach my children to hold doors open for other people as well. I've never really paid attention to whether the door is held open for me more often when I'm with hubby or not :shrug: .

zealot said:
In Spanish-speaking and Scandinavian cultures, it is considered flirting if a man goes out of his way to open a door for a woman. This is also the case with Hispanics in the U.S., and in places like Texas this can cause some very awkward situations. If you were in Mexico, you sure-as-heck wouldn't open a door for a lady whose husband was right there with her. If you did, you might be regaled with a string of words that aren't found in your little Spanish tourist glossary.

Jeffery
This is interesting to know!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,120 Posts
i usually hold the door for older folks and for women in general and if i see a guy right behind me i hold it for him as well. i dont really think about it i just do it.

dean
 

·
just me
Joined
·
1,770 Posts
I hold doors for those around me, especially the elderly or mom's with strollers. My DS9 is awesome about it, he's left me to run to open doors for older people and young mothers and lately he's started holding the door for us too and letting his sister, my roommate and I enter before him. He also somewhere picked up opening car doors for others too, came out the other day to find he had opened the other three doors on the wagon and was waiting for us to get in before he got in.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,027 Posts
Somehow, whenever we go somewhere, we are a crowd. We are a family of six and usually we manage to pick up one or two more kids along the way. 3 of my 4 kids are teenagers so when we take them and their friends, we are a gaggle of long legged, giggling, goofy people. I am usually the insane looking one leading the pack. Yes-- men open doors for me. I think most of the time it is in pure sympathy....... In all seriousness, we are usually having a good time and people notice and watch us.
I have noticed that when I have the little guys in the buggy and a gaggle "ducking up" behind me, I either get glared at or big smiles.....
Tana Mc
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
8,840 Posts
Yep, Always when convenient and for the elderly when its not. You can't beat the suprized look and the heart felt thankyou that comes next. It'll make their day and yers to! :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
735 Posts
Around where I live (NC) it seems common practice to hold the door for people. Mothers with more than one child. Elderly male or female. Someone carring a large package, Pushing a cart or otherwise has their hands full.

At a local UPS drop off, I went in to ask if someone could hold the door while I brought in a large package and the man behind the counter insisted on going to my car and bringing it in for me.

Waving at people is also common as is talking in the check out line to strangers. You will aslo see people with only one item at the check out counter being asked if they would like to go in front of someone with a whole shopping cart full of things.

My area of North Carolilna is nothing like where I use to live in Ohio. I don't ever want to go back if I can avoid it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,795 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
TwoAcresAndAGoat said:
Waving at people is also common as is talking in the check out line to strangers. You will aslo see people with only one item at the check out counter being asked if they would like to go in front of someone with a whole shopping cart full of things.
My DD is always asking "do you know her?" and when I say no, she says "Well you arent supposed to talk to strangers..."

I also often times let someone with just a few items, go ahead of me....sometimes I entertain the baby in the cart infront of me while the mom loads her things onto the counter....but on the other hand I get embarrassed when people feel they have to entertain mine! go figure

Rachel
 

·
joy seeker
Joined
·
1,482 Posts
RachAnn in NW Okla said:
My DD is always asking "do you know her?" and when I say no, she says "Well you arent supposed to talk to strangers..."

Rachel
She told you, Mama ;)

I've always told my kids that talking to strangers was fine as long as I or their Daddy were right there with them. That just came naturally because we're a talkative bunch in lines, waiting places, shopping....to teach the kids not to talk to strangers seemed false so we did the above--as long as we're with you, talk away. Now, at 14 and 12, have mercy they don't know any strangers!! (Don't worry, we've done the stranger danger talk time and again and they 'get' it...I'm confident) The world can be such a nice place if you speak to and smile at your neighbor-of-the-moment....

~~
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top