Woody Allen is my brother

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by birdie_poo, Jan 4, 2007.

  1. birdie_poo

    birdie_poo Well-Known Member

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    Ok, not the real Woddy Allen, but someone very akin to him.

    My brother is arried and she has a daughter. They ave been together a while now, and because of something I said, we no longer see the wife, so he brings the step daughter to family functions he feels he should attend. When the three of them are together, there is normal banter between them. When the wife isn't around, however, EVERYONE has noticed how innapropriately they act together. He will tickle her and she hangs on him. She is 15 or 16, dresses and wears makeup like a hooker and looks much older.

    I never in my life would have suspected that my brother has even done anythign with this child, but his attitude towards her when they are without the mom is very very questionable. At first, only my mom and I noticed, but it seems, of late, the kids are all saying things about they way they act, hence the nick-name by one of my nephews of Woody Allen.

    Now, with that being said, and the history between myself and the no-more-see sister-in-law, should I say something to her? How should I approach it?

    History behind my brother (actually he's a step brother), his dad's family has a history of mental illness, that I think I have mentioned before. My little half-bro has it, and has manifested into schizophrenia. One of my nephwes was recently diagnosed with the same thing and was put on meds. Because this nephew works for my brother, he has convinced him to stop taking his meds because it slows him down at work. Now, my sister (also step) is furious, but because this nephew is 21, she can't force him to go back on them meds. My brother is a pure megalomaniac and narcistic. He only expects perfdection from those around him.

    His wife has gone from a single-wide to a double-wide (if you know what I mean) since they have been married and since Ihave not seen their interactions together in a while I can't tell if that has something to do with his now apparant affection for his step daughter.

    Fearing the wife wont listen to me or take me seriously and possibly ruin all our family relations, I want to bypass her and go to her parents, whom he seems to respect and listen to more than anyone else.

    Just at a loss for what to do.
     
  2. Chas in Me

    Chas in Me Well-Known Member

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    How will you feel if something goes wrong and you didn't say anything? I think that is the question you need to answer.
    Good luck, you have been put into a hard spot.
    Chas
     

  3. Cornhusker

    Cornhusker Unapologetically me Supporter

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    I think if his wife already has a problem with you, you should stay out of it. Don't ignore it, but get someone she gets along with to talk to her.
    Do the kids call him Woddy allen to his face?
    He may not be aware others think he's acting wrong.
    Have the kids start calling him Uncle Woody.
    If he's as vain as you say, he won't want people thinking he's a pedophile.
    Just a thought.
     
  4. Zipporah

    Zipporah Well-Known Member

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    Not something to ignore.
    Maybe the wife will ask why they call him that.Where's the girl's father ? Maybe she should go live with her dad.
     
  5. Horselover

    Horselover Joyce

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    Why don't you talk to your step brother? Tell him exactly how it looks etc.
    I would not go to his wife. There is a problem there already. Just my thoughts.
     
  6. cowboyracer43

    cowboyracer43 Well-Known Member

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    I suspect that the child should be the one interviewed. by the Division of Family Services and it Child Protection Team. Frankly, attraction to a 16 year old child is not a characteristic of pedophilia. That is too old. Doing something about that attraction, however, is a crime. If something is "going on," the child is a victim -- despite her appearance.
     
  7. fransean

    fransean Well-Known Member

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    How close are you to his stepdaughter? Can you pull her aside and talk to her? Ask her if there is anything going on at home? Talk to her about her inappropriate dress?

    On the other hand does your brother seem to start this behaviour or does she? It is hard to tell from the story.

    Some men are in denial of their children growing older and still treat them as younger than they are eventhough some behaviour becomes wrong as they get older. Tickling and giggling with a six y/o totally correct, tickling and giggling with a 16 y/o maybe not so good.
    At the same time there are plenty of "young ladies" out there that try to act older than there years and try out there flirting behaviour on family members because it is "safe" not understanding that it can be misunderstood. Had a female family member that when she got older she wanted to kiss her father on the lips instead of the cheek and he avoided it and finally stepped in and told her that the behaviour was not appropriate and he did not feel comfortable with it. She was seeking male attention and thought that was the best place to start.

    Bev