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What to do and say?

1846 Views 40 Replies 38 Participants Last post by  Jan Doling
19 years ago yesterday I was standing in the delivery room of a small hospital in California waiting to witness my son being born. It was the greatest moment in the world. 3 years later his mother and I were at wits end with each other and got a divorce. My son was my whole world and my ex-wife knew it. I moved out of state after the divorce and visited every free minute I got. When it came time for me to start taking my son to my home for a visit my ex-wife put an end to me ever seeing him again. I would drive the 19 hours to their home and then when I arrived they would seem to always be out of town. It didn't take me long to realize what was going on. Then it even started when I would just drive there to visit it at her home, or so I could pick him up and spend the day with him in town there. Eventually I was cut off from all communications with them when they moved and left no way for me to get in touch with them. My ex-wifes' parents even refused to tell me where they had gone. I was never mean or angry towards any of them, so I just gave up. I still made sure I sent money, birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts for him to here parents. Whether they were received is beyond me.

Well today I received a short note from my long lost son on my Myspace account, along with a friends request. LOL He is wanting to start getting in touch with me now. I want to so bad, but what to say and do after all these years. Guess you could say I'm a little scared for some reason. He also sent me a photo and lord what a fine young man he has grown into. Any advice would sure be appreciated.
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as nervous as you are, he's probably far more nervous, as he's younger, and he made the first move. be thankful you have this opportunity -- many parents and children never get this chance, or only get it 20-30 years later. carpe diem.

contact him, and tell him how much you missed him and love him. from everything i've read, not having one parent around usually leaves a pretty big hole in a childs life and identity. Now's your chance to fill that hole.

best wishes...
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