[Use Less]

Too much stuff really is stressful. I read that all the time, and am only getting it now. Slow learner? Difficult circumstances led to me move out of my home with clothes, cats, musical instruments and not much else. I'm living in my parents' house. They are gone over two years. It is still FULL of their stuff. Difficult enough. My sibs are sloooowly taking away their shares, a bunch of boxes of stuff will head off to a charity, only what I chose will be left. I now find myself at my former residence gathering up my clutter, my collections and odds 'n ends, after almost a year of not having it around me. Really stressing me more than I anticipated. There are things I miss. Good to get those. The rest I'm hauling out because h, (from whom I am separated), says if I don't take this or that, it's going in the trash, the snowbank, the burn barrel. Just can't stand the thought. If you're wondering would he really... yes. Not looking for advice. I get that what I'm choosing isn't entirely healthy. I understand that I have my own somewhat warped version of OCD saving & collecting. It is well short of hoarding. This post is a short break from boxing & labeling more of my sibs' stuff and stacking it neatly in one room so I can sort and hand off what I don't want of what I hauled over :hammer:

 

[Danaus29]

You shouldn't go through your old stuff when you are down in the dumps and upset anyway. It has to be moved so move it then sort it at your leisure. The world won't end tomorrow if you don't sort through it all today.

 

[puddlejumper007]

good for you, just take one day at a time....

 

[Use Less]

Danaus, Thanks, but really, I'm not in the dumps. If anything, just wanting to get on with getting on. A little amused, in fact. I'm not going through my old stuff. I know what's there. I'm putting more of what my sibs would like from our parents' things (big time collectors; lots of nice things and family pieces) in boxes and out of the way. Makes room for me to then put MY boxes aside so I can live in here without seeing everything that is waiting all the time. No, the sibs really can't do this for themselves. Two live in distant states. One would go through every last button and cherry-pick. The two close by have school-age kids and, right now, personal issues. They look at the stuff, and say I'm right, but...

 

[where I want to]

Or you could do what my sister did. She took what she wanted for herself and her children, donated some to whoever would come pick it up, paid movers to box up everything else and sent it to me. Whether I wanted it or not.

She just shipped the dilemma to me. If you are hard hearted enough, that is an option.

 

[Use Less]

Where-I-want, I'm sorry the stuff all landed on your doorstep, but that strikes me funny. I know which sister I'd send it to, too :hysterical:

 

[where I want to]

Where-I-want, I'm sorry the stuff all landed on your doorstep, but that strikes me funny. I know which sister I'd send it to, too :hysterical:

When I wasn't irritated, I thought it was funny too.

 

[Forcast]

well said

 

[Use Less]

Forcast, I'm doing it a carload at a time. It's pretty far. He hasn't kept his end of the signed agreement so I'm still a house owner. He won't let any of my family members in to help me. I can't pay for a mover... "You pays your nickel and takes your choice." He's just going to have to deal if he can't be a little cooperative.

 

[motdaugrnds]

Been there; done that! First off to relieve stress is get totally separated (with all your belongings) from your X. No matter what the monetary cost, this needs to be a priority! Believe me when I say doing so will take tons of emotional stress off your back.

Having all your personal boxes stacked in one place (even if it is a garage or old barn) will remove stress too as you deal with your parents' things. Then sending each of your siblings notice that, if they want anything, they must get it before a certain date. In this notice, let them know you are stressed out and everything they do not collect (and move out) by that date will be donated to .... (Salvation Army or Goodwill, etc.) .... Doing this will let your emotions settle a great deal!

Be sure you STICK WITH THAT DATE, letting your siblings know you can be trusted to keep your word! This will go a long way to gaining you the respect you need to continue living in your parents house and taking care of yourself.

Then practice a lot of patience, doing things throughout the day that help you feel good about yourself. Self-respect and self-worth often need rebuilding somewhat when a relationship breaks apart. This needs to be a priority too.

 

[Wolf mom]

You better believe too much stuff is stressful!

I'm sitting here taking a break from sorting and packing also.

House sold and I said OK to a 2 week close. (Marching to your own drum is OK but now I think I'm certified crazy for doing that!)Yes, I had sorted and boxed some stuff - but oh boy, that 40 ft shipping container and outbuildings sure can hold a lot. The positive thing was that there was no hesitation - do I want it? Will I have enough room? Yes - No. That's it!

Never again will I have as much "stuff" as I had - no excuse. And with my job I knew what a hassle it is for adult children to go through their parent's "treasures".

Good luck - the only thing is please, set a date the sibs have to get the "stuff" by. Even if they have to send you the money so you can ship it. Sometimes they never get around to it.

 

[SixGunn]

My dear MIL left us over 2 years ago. I still have boxes of her things I need to sort and put away. It's such a daunting task, I shudder to even think about it.

 

[Seeker]

Stuff is stuff.

It eats you and consumes you. We are trying to downsize, and the stuff gets in the way.

At least I took two large boxes of books to the car to donate today. It's now out of the house.

 

[newfieannie]

it definitely consumes one. I'm downsizing also for the past month now. I do the same thing. get the boxes out to the car as fast as I fill them. I'm still trying to sort out the boxes belong to Andrew. they have been along one wall in the den for several years. there's stuff in there from WW2. I'm making quite a dent lately though. ~Georgia

 

[Crikket]

Seems like "stuff" comes in faster than I can throw it out :/ I cannot handle clutter, it makes me so frustrated, but 2 children and my husband are "collectors" and things just pile up. The only room I have control over is my craft room, it's neat and somewhat organized... still unpacking and getting used to having a room of my own c:

 

[where I want to]

All this thread is about the evils of stuff. But how do you sort meaningful and potentually useful stuff from evil stuff? So many times I have reused something that had hung around unused for years. Or finally read that book and found it meaningful at that time.

I guess the first step is not accumulating more and I'm so there but that book on early Chinese history that I keep shoving around? Hidden treasure or albatross?

 

[karenp]

My problem is just as soon as I get rid of it, it's the exact thing I need.

 

[whiterock]

I got an old house down in the pasture, woman that lived there died a couple of years ago and it is in bad shape, but I have been moving stuff down there that can dwell in a unheated/cooled storage bldg. Was cleaning out the front bedroom?junkroom. Got to the closets and I am surprised at what I got jammed in there. That will be moving out today or tomorrow I imagine. Goin down to the old house. Then I plan on putting some shelves in one closet to take the overflow from the other areas. Man, glad I live alone, wouldn't have room for anyone else's stuff around here.
ED

 

[Use Less]

Where-I-want and karenp, yes, exactly! Stuff used to be different. A fair number of people didn't move around or move that far. My people got to western PA over 200 years ago, and until my parents, there we sat. Buying stuff was a bigger deal than now. Handmade things were made to last, and after all the work, were used up or worn out. Everyone had barns, sheds or attics, so grandma's furniture was stashed in case somebody needed some later. Used to be in my area an estate or farm auction was likely to yield some generations' worth of stuff. Once it's gone it's gone, though, and not too many of those these days. Birdwalk: I do have to wonder about people who let their ancestors' pics and letters go, though. It has gotten so easy to accumulate things that we just overdo. A dozen cookies cutters? Nice. A dozen dozen becomes a burden, unless that is the "one thing" someone really just loves to collect.

 

[farmmaid]

A suggestion: Box up all and move to your place. Then after the "dust has settled" go through say two boxes a day and make decisions on what is inside them. In a week 14 boxes will be done, not so overwhelming............