Thnaksgiving turning into a real turkey. <rant>

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by Kenneth in NC, Nov 24, 2004.

  1. Kenneth in NC

    Kenneth in NC Well-Known Member

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    For the past 5 years not one family member has bothered to come or invite us to come to their house. This year we invited some friends over and now a aunt on my side and a aunt on my wifes side of the family both want to "drop in" at lunch time. :confused: WE can't stand either one. :eek: My uncle (whom has been a real asp lately) Suddenly invited us to his house. DW wonders how much arsenic he has bought recently:mad:

    Now 4 more out of state relatives called and informed DW they would be stopping by for lunch. :no:

    Me I'm going to eat a salad, stay in my room and listen to music. All this holiday cheer has gave me the blues :waa:

    DW is having fits last time she fixed for this big crowd only 2 showed up.

    DD is just glad we bought Harry Potter on DVD she says her Thanksgiving will be fine :dance:


    Kenneth in NC
     
  2. BobBoyce

    BobBoyce Well-Known Member

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    Hey there Kenneth

    Sorry to hear you're gonna have such a "fun" holiday. DW is just gonna cook a young 10 lb turkey and some stuffing, so it'll be done quick.

    Sorry, forgot to answer you email, seeing you post here reminded me... I'm not sure what the rules in TN are for that, never looked into it, but I should.

    We're in a bit of a pickle ourselves. We have to make a decision, and fast. We were just getting ready to put in a well and keep the springs for the livestock, until we heard late last week...

    A developer wants to buy the property west of us and build a housing development. Do we stay and ride it out, or do we relocate?

    Our last move was because the area our farm was located, all the surrounding farm land was bought by high class folk that built big fancy homes, and soon, WE were the ones getting harrassed about the sounds and smells of our farm, which had been there from the start.

    We were in an AG area then, and are in an AG area now. We just don't want to sink any more time, effort, and money, into this place if we decide to sell and move again.

    Of course, if we stick it out, we could always increase the amount of livestock we have, and that might convice the developer to not build houses too close to our land. Nothing like the sound of dozens of crowing roosters starting at 4 AM and crowing all day. :haha:

    The other side is, the developer would probably pay us a decent price for our land, because there is another large chunk on the east side of us, and he could build one whopper of a development if he had all 3 parcels.

    Bob
     

  3. anniew

    anniew keep it simple and honest Supporter

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    Ken,
    It sounds like you just have to practice saying "No." or "Sorry, that
    just doesn't work for us this year."
    You can only be imposed upon with your permission.
    I'll be thankful I decided to stay home.
    Ann
     
  4. Pony

    Pony Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Wow, that stinks.

    I agree with Annie, though. The line you need to practice is "I'm sorry, but we already have plans." And if they persist, all you have to do is say, "No, I'm sorry, that just doesn't work for us." Be a broken record.

    This is not coming from someone who's just mouthing the words -- I've lived the adventure.

    I should write a book: The Joy of Saying No!

    (You could just tell them you're serving dry toast and tea, and give them the bum's rush as soon as they're finished... Or, you could just call your friends you'd invited earlier to come by later, and just not offer the imposers anything at all... Not evil, really, because they invited themselves. How gauche...)

    Good luck tomorrow.
     
  5. jerneeon

    jerneeon Well-Known Member

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    I would have to agree with everyone, to just say no...except I'm in no place to give out advice. This Thanksgiving, I'm concerned, might turn weird. Here goes:

    My daughter Christina is going with a guy who doesn't work. No job, period. He's overly crass, a dirtbag. He's 28, acts 12. I really don't know what she sees in him. I know he smokes pot, (he says it's for pain from an old back injury) not sure if he does anything worse. My daughter Kim goes with a guy who works, is a manager at a Radio Shack. Seems very nice, respectful, college educated, but I am not sure whether he's Eddie Haskell, or if he really is nice. I've also heard through the grapevine that he does coke. Not sure if it's the truth or not.

    The two guys can't stand each other. and the Dirtbag doesn't like Kim who doesn't like the Dirtbag either. Christina doesn't like Eddie Haskell.

    And they are all coming for dinner.

    I've told them all that in my home there will be no fighting, or arguing. Everybody better behave themselves. And if they don't, I will have to kick some a $$.

    I wish you luck. Please wish me some back...I think I'm going to need it.
     
  6. Kenneth in NC

    Kenneth in NC Well-Known Member

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  7. Kenneth in NC

    Kenneth in NC Well-Known Member

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    May the wind always be at your back and Thanksgiving pass so fast you don't even get gas. I wish you good luck today. :)
     
  8. TXlightningbug

    TXlightningbug Well-Known Member

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    My advice is: tell the aunts that your uncle invited you to his place (Don't say you're going - just that you've been invited) and tell the uncle that the aunts are imposing on you and can't come. Ditto on the 4 out-of-staters.

    Then join DD to watch Harry Potter and wish you had his powers to make people disappear.

    Best of luck to Kenneth and jerneeon! You're going to need it. And, jerneeon, tell both daughters that you won't have drug addicts in your household. Period! End of story! It's your home and you lay the rules down. Or demand that they do a drug test before eating. Make it clear that you disapprove. Require medical proof of that "old back injury" before letting him continue to disgrace himself in your home. Drugs are not legal and can get YOU in trouble if they bring them into your home. Yeah, it'll cause a brouhaha between you and the kids. But they are kids. You're the adult and your kids are associating with drug addicts. Do you want them to become drug addicts too?

    TXlightningbug :yeeha:
     
  9. MorrisonCorner

    MorrisonCorner Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs

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    *sigh* Don't you just hate holidays?

    For what it is worth, we keep cheese and crackers on hand for these moments and offer a snack and beverage while waxing eloquent about how delighted we are to be able to visit with them. If really pushed, I wouldn't even do Thanksgiving... you can always do it on Saturday instead.
     
  10. whodunit

    whodunit Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I would focus on inviting people who have nowhere to go, i.e. college students who are not going home, elderly neighbors whose family are all gone, etc., etc. The invit would mean more to them than it would your fair-weather family members.
     
  11. deberosa

    deberosa SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!

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    Today I am thankful I am a single hermit. :haha:

    I am also thankful for my new barn roof since there was a huge storm last night and for my wonderful homestead. I'll spend today reflecting on my great luck.

    People can only make you feel miserable if you let them - relatives included. Denny's is open, Perkins is open - tell them to have at it, but you all are spending quiet time today. I don't see any obligation to be polite to less than considerate people. Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving.
     
  12. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    Jerneeon, I think that you have been wise. For the love of your daughters, you are giving these young men a chance to do well.

    Kenneth, it is a shame that neither you nor your wife even LIKE these relatives, but it is a little late to do anything now! Next year, practice saying "I'm sorry, we have already made plans". Then, change the subject before they ask WHAT plans! :haha:

    I wish for you both the wisdom of Soloman and the patience of a saint. What we people will not do for those that we love!

    I hope you are all having a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
     
  13. mysticokra

    mysticokra Well-Known Member

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    My friend has a sign on her front porch that reads "Friends welcome... Relatives by appointment only". She means it and tells them so in no uncertain terms.

    Setting boundaries is a step towards sanity. :D
     
  14. jerneeon

    jerneeon Well-Known Member

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    Thank you!!! :)
     
  15. jerneeon

    jerneeon Well-Known Member

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    Thank you!!! :)
     
  16. Kenneth in NC

    Kenneth in NC Well-Known Member

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    :dance: All gone but one :dance: He's a friend from Southern Pines. Since he drove his mini-motorhome he won't be any problem.

    Aunts stayed only a few minutes. It did seem rather cold here today :cool:

    The 4 called and I said NO THANK YOU, WE have plans. So they went on to Uncles house. Good riddance:D

    Harry Potter 3rd movie was pretty good. The next one should be the best of the series of movies. The directors have a chance to sweep the awards next year. The 4th book has so many nuiances that I hope they take their time and tell the whole story.

    Yes I wished I had Harry Potters power it would make clean up a breeze.:)

    Turkey and HAm turned out juicy and tender enough to cut with a fork. Pies and Fudge were good too. :p

    Hope everyones Thanksgiving went like you wanted it to. Now Tomorrow DW plans to tackle Wal-Mart at 4:30 a.m. Hmmmm Think I'll sleep in. :D
     
  17. ed/IL

    ed/IL Well-Known Member

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    I like when people come by. Turkey is cheap and makes good left overs. I would have welcomed them or anyone that wants to join me for lunch. Glad I'm not a hermit.