There is a reason for the saying...

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by sancraft, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    Children are for young women. I had my great neice, aged 5 and great nephew, aged 19 months from Thanksgiving to last night. Boy am I tired. My 15 yr. old DD took the 5 yr old and I took the baby and we layed down with them to put them to sleep at 8:30PM Saturday night. We woke up 8:30AM Sunday morning. Where do they find the energy? These are the 2 children that I hope to gain custody of once I have a "real" (in the eyes of the law) house. I forgot just how much attention small children need. Lordy, am I too old for this? I'll have them both for a Christmas concert on Sunday and dinner at a very, very nice restaurant. (It's a 16 year tradition that started when my oldest was 18 months old. My parents pay for the meal). Wish me luck.
     
  2. crashy

    crashy chickaholic goddess

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    Yes they are for the young but I know you can do it. It just takes some gettin used too. When my brother was in a car accident we had my nephew a lot at first it was rough then we got used to having him around then when he went back home we missed him and I was actually bored not having him here to play with.
     

  3. almostthere

    almostthere Well-Known Member

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    I would give anything for my kids to sleep until 8:30 on Saturday.
    The 5 yr old is in my room, saying, I'm awake, you have to get up now. The 7 yr old will sleep later than him only until she realizes he's awake and might be touching her toys. This is no later than 7 am, but usually around 6:30-6:45. If they sleep later then they are sick, then it's a whole 'nother can of worms.

    Good luck on getting the babies, you will adjust, and you still have full of energy teenagers at home with you for a few years yet.
     
  4. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    I do miss them already. When I told the 5yr old they were going home yesterday, she started crying. She said she didn't ever want to leave. Luckily, I'll have them this weekend too.
     
  5. jnap31

    jnap31 garden guy

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    " eyes of The law" If I wanted to adopt and the "law" did not like it, I would leave to a free place and adopt. when I adopted our 12 year old daughter in the Marshalls they did not care that our house was 12 by 12 with no running water it is none of the "laws" buisness what kind of shelter you choose to live in.
     
  6. michiganfarmer

    michiganfarmer Max Supporter

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    when my kids were under 5 years old they would go to bed at 10 pm, and be awake on their own at 5 or 6 am. Id say you have it pretty good, but I do agree young children are easier for young people.
     
  7. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    I wish it were that simple jnap. My job and family are here. And their mother won't agree to let me take them out of state. I like our little place, but to be legal, we have to have a well, septic, a foundation and insulation. And for the children I have to have a seperate bedroom for each of them, since they are boy and girl. :shrug:
     
  8. michiganfarmer

    michiganfarmer Max Supporter

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    lol jesse. I hear ya
     
  9. jnap31

    jnap31 garden guy

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    LOL now I know your pulling my leg. I shared a room with my sister till I was maybe 12 or so off and on mostly "on" depending on where we were living. Are you serious? I shared a room in MI, KY, and OH. Now my younger ones share a room in AR with us as my wife likes them near, am I breaking the law in AR? Well besides having an out house on less than 10 acres, I have two septic tanks also so I guess thats all right. This just astounds me tell me your joking.
     
  10. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    I wish I were. My jaw nearly hit the floor when she told me that. And then with a straight face she added that it was to help discourage any inappropriate play or touching. They are 5 and 1 for Pete's sake. Are you kidding me? They take baths together, they sleep together, they do everything together. They are 5 and 1!
     
  11. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    That's insane! Separate bedrooms at age five and one?
     
  12. Maura

    Maura Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Separate bedrooms has been the law for many years now. They also have regulations for how much square feet per child. The square footage is pretty low, though, and you could cut one bedroom into two, you just have to make sure each one will be big enough.

    Have you checked with charitable groups? There may be a group that would grant you money to add onto your cabin and do whatever needs to be done to be able to get those children.

    Don't worry about how young you are. You may be less efficient physically, but with age comes wisdom and usually patience. You'll get used to the activity. :angel:
     
  13. almostthere

    almostthere Well-Known Member

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    My aunt is raising her great neice and she's been there over a year, and she's 5 now in pre-k. All they did was get a lawyer and sign the papers. No social workers were involved, no inspections, and her bedroon is in the dining room. If thier mother doesnt want you to leave the state you won't have any options there, however I do know that even military housing doesnt require seperate bedrooms for children until they are 4(according to my friend who is in right now).
    I know when we looked into Foster Care they told us pretty much the same thing; certian amount of square footage per child, thier own bed, closet/drawer space, only same gender children (blood siblings) could share a bed, and boys/girls had to have seperate rooms. After the adoption is final, and the SW has no reason to come look in on you, it doesnt matter if they share a room.
     
  14. momlaffsalot

    momlaffsalot Well-Known Member

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    Sancraft, the kids may poop you out, but they'll keep you young. They'll remind you to hide in tall grass and play hide and seek and to sit in the sandbox when there is a sink full of dishes that need washed. Kids are so awesome and I think it's awesome that you love them enough to fight for them! Have fun at your concert and dinner...what lovely memories you are creating. :angel:
     
  15. lynpea

    lynpea Well-Known Member

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    Just want to add my encouragment. You CAN do anything, when you have too. My DH and I are 49 and are adopting the three foster children that we now have. The youngest is 11 mos., we have had him since birth. I still get up once or twice a night with him and have managed somewhere to find the energy it takes to raise these kids. I would suggest looking at your diet and eating better to get more energy, plus some physical SUSTAINED exercise like walking. It has helped me tremendously. Some nights I am lucky to get 5 hours, but as long as I stay away from the chocolate and suger then I can get things done. Good luck and God bless, I don't know the circumstances of why you are adopting, but those little kids sure are lucky........lynpea
     
  16. omnicat

    omnicat Well-Known Member

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    I agree with momlaffsalot. They DO require energy and attention - but they will help keep your wonder for the world, and remind you that "play" is important, even for us old foggies.

    sancraft - just noticed your tagline. My mom is a member of oa wonderful group called "Smiply Living" here.

    http://www.simplyliving.org/sl/

    She recently moved in to a house with three other older adults, who recognised the value of shared housing - for financial, emotional, and energy-consumtion reasons. I was initially floored when she showed me the house they chose - large, spacious, and it cost $440,000!! But then, when you divide it 4 ways, that's only $110,000 apiece. They're all members of Simply Living, and did a lot of planning before they made the plunge. It's working out really well!

    (sorry for the off-topic musings)
     
  17. annethcz

    annethcz Well-Known Member

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    I don't know of a single state that will finalize/legalize an adoption if there hasn't been a homestudy conducted by a licenced social worker. Yes, regulations will vary from state to state, and there are generally different requirements for domestic vs. international and state vs. private adoptions. But in order for the adoption to be finalized, you MUST have a petition to adopt granted by a judge.

    You're also right that after the adoption is FINALIZED, you won't need any more visits from a social worker. After the adoption is final, you are the parent, and will make final decisions for the child. But you have to go through all the hoops to finalize before you get the final say.

    Anyway, I hope it all works out. Although you may be tired after caring for the children, it sounds to me like the children would benefit tremendously from being in your care.
     
  18. omnicat

    omnicat Well-Known Member

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    Oh - and when you have a bunch of kids...always remember that the dishes and the house ALWAYS need cleaning, but they won't be children for very long.
     
  19. jnap31

    jnap31 garden guy

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    What would the state think about me sharing a room with my girl friends on weekend sleep overs up till I was 12 like I did? My kids will share a room if we dont have space for their own rooms. I cant believe that folks will submit to obnoxious state busybodies that type better stay away from me. I hope you get everything worked out though Sancraft and your able to please them enough to let you adopt.
     
  20. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Every now and then, I don't feel well before Sunday service at church, so we sit in the back where parents are with the wee ones. It's a revelation! I marvel at the energy it takes to curb those children. And they're not bad children...they're just going what children do.

    I turned to another woman my age and told her that I understood why God gave children to young people.