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Nohoa Homestead
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Discussion Starter #1
My dh is very obsessive which in some ways is good (he never stops on a project until it is done and it is always done to perfection). But there are moments when I want to run screaming into the woods.

Dh very often talks about one subject incessantly. For instance he is on a jag these days about the neighbors. For two solid weeks he has talk about NOTHING ELSE. Now, I don't mean that we have normal conversations and then he starts talking about them. I mean that for all of his waking hours, from the minute that he gets up in the morning until the minute he goes to bed at night HE TALKS ABOUT *NOTHING* ELSE.

This morning he came into the bedroom about 10:00 (I am a late sleeper), and woke me up with a kiss and told me what the neighbors were doing. Today he has been working outside on the back porch and every single time he came inside to get a drink he talked about the neighbors.

I often try to change the subject but ususally he ignores my attempts and continues on or he *might* answer me with one or two words before launching into his next monologue about the obsession du jour.

We were gone for three weeks on a boat and not once did I get to hear about the neighbors (oh what bliss) but then of course he started in on another subject (the passengers) and that is all I heard about for three weeks.

To make matters worse he repeats himself endlessly. So not only do I get to hear about the neighbors, he often tells me the same thing over and over for days on end.

Sometimes it gets a bit tedious to sit there and smile and nod my head and say "yes honey". But I do it. Mainly because he puts up with my little bizarre oddities and does not say anything about them to me.

I just needed to vent a bit. Thanks for listening. I now return you to your regular programing, while I wait for my dh to come inside and tell me about ...you know....

donsgal
 

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Nohoa Homestead
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Discussion Starter #4
YounGrey said:
I have to know...What is it that the neighbors are doing exactly? Are they being stupid, funny, odd, rude, messy, erotic? All of the above?
Just normal things that every neighbor in the universe does. Son "D" missed the garbage can and didn't go around and pick up the garbage. He is lazy. The MIL is about 300 pounds, I get hourly reports on what she is doing (mostly bending over according to reports). Mrs. "R" is mowing the lawn when she has two teen aged boys sitting inside watching video games, it must suck to be her". Mrs. "R" is mowing the dog poop because everybody is too lazy to pick it up. It's after 5 pm and they still haven't gotten their mail out of the mail box. Mr. "R" is playing that stupid music again, he acts like a 14 year old. Mr. "R" must have a job washing dishes, he is wearing that outfit again and looks like he is going to work. Mr "R" is home in the middle of the day, I bet he got fired again. It looks like they can't afford to get a license for their car, it is parked in the back yard.

That kind of stuff. 24/7

Ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

donsgal
 

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Uh, donsgal - I think HE's the one that need to go get a job to give him something else to think about....

Angie
 

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15 minutes to Wapner.......... :D
 

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tinknal said:
15 minutes to Wapner.......... :D
I had you in there, Ray! You were in there! The defendant, the plaintiff, you had it all. They are in there making legal history. *Legal history!*
 

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donsgal said:
I often try to change the subject but ususally he ignores my attempts and continues on or he *might* answer me with one or two words before launching into his next monologue about the obsession du jour.
This part about you trying to 'change the subject' seems relevant to analyze.

He probably has no idea how 'compulsive' he's being toward you about what he may believe is 'normal conversation' with you? :shrug: Perhaps, yourself is 'obsessive' to his 'obsessivness'. know what I mean? Keeping track so closely of what he's doing as you portray on this thread seems a bit obsessive or 'excessive' in a way, or at least it seems like something you should address directly to his attention that it bothers you. Perhaps therapy of some sort could elicite a 'cure' for this?
The point from me is that something in the communication between you two might be lacking. Perhaps it's a need for rebalancing conversation 'content'. In other words, changing the subject isn't working, is it? Perhaps there is something to be offered in positive reinforcement when he's NOT conversing about those things which bother you, and maybe come into a focus about what you BOTH can talk about of interest? make sense? :shrug:
 

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Nohoa Homestead
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Discussion Starter #11
AngieM2 said:
Uh, donsgal - I think HE's the one that need to go get a job to give him something else to think about....

Angie
OMG it is worse when he is working. He goes on for hours NON-STOP about everything that happened (real or imagined) that day. Sometimes his food will get cold in front of him on the table while he recounts every minute detail of the day. Oh mercy no! Anything but that. At least with the neighbors, I can pretend to be listening and I have a pretty good idea of what he is talking about.

donsgal
 

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Yah know - from what you've posted... and that in the past you've said you both do house inspections - I bet he's just overly observant. Would make a great neighborhood watch person.

Angie
 

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Nohoa Homestead
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Discussion Starter #13
AngieM2 said:
Yah know - from what you've posted... and that in the past you've said you both do house inspections - I bet he's just overly observant. Would make a great neighborhood watch person.

Angie
He is very observant when he is concentrating on something, however, he does not see nor hear anything else except what he is concentrating on. LOL He would be good at that, I bet. He knows what all the neighbors are doing, who is here, who is gone - when did they leave, etc. He'd be perfect for that job! LOL

donsgal
 

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donsgal said:
He is very observant when he is concentrating on something, however, he does not see nor hear anything else except what he is concentrating on.
It could be he does hear and see things around, while he's concentrating, but simply chooses to ignore them. It may be that by ignoring those thing around that he 'doesn't see nor hear' makes it better for him TO concentrate.
 

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I'm confused. Are you married to my father-in-law? Mom, is that YOU?!? ;) :D

You are pretty much describing my father-in-law to a tee - and he is 79 years old. And I've got news for you - it's only going to get worse!!!!!

I always knew he had some obsessive/compulsive disorder. When he comes in from driving the car and goes to hang the keys up. He keeps his finger on the keys for about 5 or 10 seconds all the while staring at them. (I really don't think they are going to jump off on their own!!!) Another "problem" is when we park the car and get out. He locks the doors (with the remote) and then usually goes and checks each door "just to make sure it locked".

Sometimes I consider him to be the miserable old man you often hear about. I love him dearly, but he sits on the porch and watches the cars go by, watches what the neighbors are doing, etc. Most things he says is negative - it's never positive. And he might ask you a question, but their really isn't any use in answering it, because he is concentrating on what he is going to say next and doesn't even hear your answer. But like your husband, neighbor 1 "is lazy and won't even go out and clean up the branches that fell off the tree". Neighbor 2 "is off running again, he took the yellow car. Doesn't he EVER stay home?"

I'm guessing your husband is a perfectionist, and everything has it's own place and is in order. Very tidy and meticulous in what he does. So, how am I doing?!?
 

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Nohoa Homestead
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Discussion Starter #16
Michael W. Smith said:
I'm confused. Are you married to my father-in-law? Mom, is that YOU?!? ;) :D

You are pretty much describing my father-in-law to a tee - and he is 79 years old. And I've got news for you - it's only going to get worse!!!!!

I always knew he had some obsessive/compulsive disorder. When he comes in from driving the car and goes to hang the keys up. He keeps his finger on the keys for about 5 or 10 seconds all the while staring at them. (I really don't think they are going to jump off on their own!!!) Another "problem" is when we park the car and get out. He locks the doors (with the remote) and then usually goes and checks each door "just to make sure it locked".

Sometimes I consider him to be the miserable old man you often hear about. I love him dearly, but he sits on the porch and watches the cars go by, watches what the neighbors are doing, etc. Most things he says is negative - it's never positive. And he might ask you a question, but their really isn't any use in answering it, because he is concentrating on what he is going to say next and doesn't even hear your answer. But like your husband, neighbor 1 "is lazy and won't even go out and clean up the branches that fell off the tree". Neighbor 2 "is off running again, he took the yellow car. Doesn't he EVER stay home?"

I'm guessing your husband is a perfectionist, and everything has it's own place and is in order. Very tidy and meticulous in what he does. So, how am I doing?!?
Its. The. Same. Person.

Cue the "Twilight Zone Music". Yow. It's going to get worse? Yipes!
Note to self: Make doctor's appointment for Valium and Zoloft.

I cannot believe there are two of them in the world.

donsgal
 

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donsgal said:
Its. The. Same. Person.

Cue the "Twilight Zone Music". Yow. It's going to get worse? Yipes!
Note to self: Make doctor's appointment for Valium and Zoloft.

I cannot believe there are two of them in the world.

donsgal
Yeah, would the world implode if we got both of them in a room together?!?

While I'm hitting the nail on the head here, let me venture to guess that the world REALLY does revolve around him?

Uh, yup, I thought so!
 
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donsgal said:
Just normal things that every neighbor in the universe does. Son "D" missed the garbage can and didn't go around and pick up the garbage. He is lazy. The MIL is about 300 pounds, I get hourly reports on what she is doing (mostly bending over according to reports). Mrs. "R" is mowing the lawn when she has two teen aged boys sitting inside watching video games, it must suck to be her". Mrs. "R" is mowing the dog poop because everybody is too lazy to pick it up. It's after 5 pm and they still haven't gotten their mail out of the mail box. Mr. "R" is playing that stupid music again, he acts like a 14 year old. Mr. "R" must have a job washing dishes, he is wearing that outfit again and looks like he is going to work. Mr "R" is home in the middle of the day, I bet he got fired again. It looks like they can't afford to get a license for their car, it is parked in the back yard.

That kind of stuff. 24/7

Ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

donsgal
it sounds like my dad, Judgemental, and obsessive to no end. We hear all about our neighbors too, and how whatever they are doing is wrong, and they should be doing something els a different way.
 
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