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Discussion Starter #1
This session started about 2:45 am, the distant swishing of vehicle tires was at a minimum, tiny insects did sound their approach to the worlds business, not of my concern.

At this time of day, I have no need to place my shoulder at the blockage of the mental gate that keeps the PTSD monsters within, I can back away, their content for the particular moment. I can relax for a brief amount of time.

There is no reason for the hands to seek a weapon that has not been there for about 40 years anymore, tell it to the memory. Their masters memory does not recognize updates.

In about 25 minutes the tire swishing will start as the daily bakers scoot off to work, next will come the early breakfast makers, thirdly will come the minions that have to survive their masters early in the day.

The soul does, the self recognizes such, the memory is a bit stupid, maybe its called self survival.

The seeking of aloneness seem to the most noble venture available to me right now.
 

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Mitch,

Thank you for what you've done for our country on behalf of all of us.

And for the sacrifice you continue to make.

I hope you can find some peace in the solitude and quiet.
 

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Oggie said:
Mitch,

Thank you for what you've done for our country on behalf of all of us.

And for the sacrifice you continue to make.

I hope you can find some peace in the solitude and quiet.
I second that....
 

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I just really hope that the young men and women who are serving in our military today receive help if they need it to readjust to life when they leave the military. I know many people get through it OK, but some people need counseling and support. I hate to think that people who are dedicated to preserving our freedoms are left hanging in this regard.
 

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Mitch, truthfully, you sound like you're doing pretty well! You understand PTSD and you also know how to deal with it. Good for you!
 

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Discussion Starter #9
July 28, just experienced 2 hours of saturated peace, presently 4:45 am. Why do I have to seek this separation from others?

No longer do I have to interpret the reason a cricket, at 21 feet 7 inches straight ahead, has moved 7 degrees to the right, and reduced his presence to 19 feet of distance?

The cricket was not disturbed by footsteps, I have an open visual on that one, nothing approached.

This is PTSD relaxed, shall I describe it at full attention?

I am speaking within my bounds, I think they are far beyond yours.
 

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i 7th it.
just remember, that was way back when, not now.
my son's wife still hasn't given him back his .357..
he was afraid to go to sleep at night when he got back from fallujah ('04)
he's doing fine now, he says, but down the road the doors in his mind, that he has closed, will crack open, i'm afeared.
he's back over there, so who knows?
say a prayer for all present who serve, and those who have served...
Godspeed to all.
 

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Mitch, I never served in the military but I too have PTSD. A lot of people do. You put a prosaic twist on it. I wonder if you dwell on it too much because you are afraid to move on. Maybe you own it...rather than it owning you?

I don't know...I just know that being alone can be a very healing experience...at least alone from people. Not animals. People can wound you. Animals are healers. I hope you have animals around you, always.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
It is because animals do not judge, verbalize, dictate, try to control me; the reasons I am most comfortable around them rather than humans.

If a cow is hungry, it will tell you.(Of course you have got to learn to interpret cow language). A goat with a wound will avoid you, it fears further wounds. Chickens are very verbal, you will know when they are happy or distressed.

There were 7 chicken in our lives when I was with former partner, one late afternoon I went to release them for their daily stroll and freedom, their water dish was over turned, they were without water for how long I do not know. I picked up the gallon jug (it allowed the city chlorine to escape before the chicken drank such), after the 80 foot walk, 5 were at my heels. They knew the purpose of the jug, they knew the satisfaction it would bring.

Creatures are great interpreters. They sense what they can rely on. Its natural to them, as it became to me.

I carried a 3rd Mar Div M14, a modified M 14 rifle, shortened by 11 inches forward, 5 inches rear, equipped with a sling of adequate length to go over my left shoulder, it could be pointed down when going through tall brush. This made traveling a bit easier.

The magazine was secondary equipped with a second magazine pointing down, usually taped with white tape from a medical kit. Loaded with 18 rounds (bullets) in that 19 or 20 were known to cause a weapon jam.

At a point of impact I could drop 18 in about 1.5 seconds, do a magazine flip and deliver the second impact in less than 2.whatever seconds. Companions knew they had coverage and did have the need to respond excessively immediantly. They did it well, no purple heart here.

Then the uppers switched our M14s to equip us with M16s, they were stamped, Singer Sewing Machines; there was a standing joke about when the weapons came back stamped Matty Mattel......
 

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PTSD can be observed fully at: http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/mental_health/ptsd.htm

Said better than I can say it.
No longer do I have to interpret the reason a cricket, at 21 feet 7 inches straight ahead, has moved 7 degrees to the right, and reduced his presence to 19 feet of distance?

The cricket was not disturbed by footsteps, I have an open visual on that one, nothing approached.
I don't know, I think you say it pretty well.
 

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Why did you title your thread "Celebration of Aloneness" -- it doesn't sound like you are truly celebrating anything.

Marlene
 
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