What I Learned Deer Hunting 1. Using a climbing stand isn't a stellar idea for those with acrophobia 2. Not connecting the top of the stand to the bottom is a worse idea 3. Don't realign the angle of your bottom platform when sitting 4. If you ignore #2 and #3 above, the stand bottom can skitter down the tree 5. A human male of above average size tires quickly when hanging like an ape from the tree stand top while swinging his legs wildly in a vain attempt to hook the foot straps of the bottom platform 6. The chance that you will hook the straps using the above technique is approximately zero 7. When two large does bounce toward you at half speed two things are true: A) They are not spooked by another hunter, and B) they are still moving too fast for you to shoot. 8. A doe can stand directly underneath your tree stand longer than you can hold your breath 9. A buck follows does acting as in #7 above 10. If you shoot at a buck, and he freezes with his head straight ahead, two things are true: A) He's been shot at before, and B) You missed. 11. If you shoot at him again - and completely miss again - looking at your 30-30 with an incredulous look is not useful. 12. If shooting your third and last round at him causes him to finally look your direction, looking stupidly at him will result in him running away and will make you the brunt of all 2006 hunting jokes. 13. Sighting in a rifle with a peep sight with no glasses, and then wearing shooting glasses on the hunt is a bad idea 14. Buck fever will make you forget all about your original sight picture and the glasses will help you justify a bad cheek weld 15. If you learn 1-14 in one hunting trip it's tough to take mentally and you really shouldn't tell anyone about it.