Thanks for having me

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by OrganicGuy, Apr 10, 2005.

  1. OrganicGuy

    OrganicGuy Active Member

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    My name is Jason, 35 seperated, 6 kiddos and trying to get the courage to move to my 80 acres of unimproved land in Eastern Arizona. My only problem is my whole life I have been around alot of people and when I go out to my land I start getting really homesick and missing the kiddos something fierce. I know Jesus wont give me more than I can handle, wow it can seem close sometimes. My question is other than keeping my chin up and strenghtening my faith does anyone have any advice for a homesteading newbie that feels that maybe I bite off more than I can chew? I am trying to stay there so my bills will be low and then I can take care of all the child support payments.
    Thanks again for having me and God Bless All
    The wierd thing is where I live in CA. I have to drive 60+ miles to get to a store and when Im on my Ranch its 11.5 miles off the highway on a dirt road and it worries me go figure?
     
  2. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    Before I got used to the quiet, I used to go to town 2-3 times a week. Toom uch change is stressfull, and as much as I loved my place in the country it was a relief to go to town.

    I rarely go anymores. I don't need to.;)
     

  3. patarini

    patarini Well-Known Member

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  4. whiterock

    whiterock Well-Known Member Supporter

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    There is a lot of life around you. Be observant and watch the other inhabitants of the place. Watch the changes of light and shadow. Close your eyes and listen, and smell. Once you become more a part of the place you'll feel differently. You have to reset your biorythms.

    Keep coming here. You'll have plenty of company.

    Ed
     
  5. EricG

    EricG Well-Known Member

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    Local church?
    Fish and game club?
    Volunteer fire dept.?
    Bowling league?

    Local contacts in your new community will help.

    Eric
     
  6. januaries

    januaries Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jason,

    Tried to send this as a private message so as not to bore the other folks with details of my life, but it said you had chosen not to receive private messages. So--y'all can blame Jason for making me post this. :)

    *****
    Read your post this morning. Sounds like your lifestyle change is a big one. Big changes are nearly always difficult.

    Your words reminded me of when I moved to Jerusalem. One month I was in grad school in Kentucky, and the next I was sleeping in the tiny spare room of some new friends in Jerusalem. The Muslim call-to-prayer woke me each morning and I'd lie there wondering what the heck I'd done and whether I was insane to imagine I could live in that most difficult of cities. I was terribly homesick. I spent a month with those friends, looking for a place to live and arranging to enter grad school at the university there. Every night I'd wage fantastic battles in my own head, trying to silence the voices of panic and dispair. Talk about biting off more than I could chew!

    But I learned some good things.

    1) What you've already said: God gives the strength to follow where He leads. He provides, and we depend on Him for that. You learn a lot about faith and trust when your resources are depleted. And that's a good thing.

    2) Homesickness won't kill you. It's terribly uncomfortable, but you can survive it.

    3) Most great experiences have difficult beginnings. I was in Jerusalem for a year and a half and learned to love the city as my home. I discovered it was a dear, precious, most beautiful place--I easily understood the centuries of fighting to possess it. I'd planned to stay there for many more years, but God brought me back earlier. When I begin a new stage in my life, now, I prepare myself for some rocky times. It's okay; I know things will settle into place and I'll learn how to handle them. It doesn't have to be perfect at first--it doesn't even have to be all that good at first! I just keep at it, taking baby steps and celebrating each new achievement, however small.

    My advice to you:

    Take time to learn your new place. Make it yours--in your own head. For me, that means long walks exploring and discovering. Occasionally give yourself some down-time just to rest and enjoy it. Remind yourself over and over that you're living a dream.

    Keep a written record. Note the good things as well as the bad. Keep looking back to see how far you've come.

    Be very kind and gentle with yourself. Know that emotions can come and go without doing any real damage.

    Get to know your neighbors. Let them matter to you; get involved in their lives. Start putting down roots in this place.

    Maybe get a dog for company.

    When I was a freshman at a private college, they didn't let us have cars until after Thanksgiving. The idea was that transition to college is difficult, but it must be faced and handled--and that transition will take a lot longer if you're going home each weekend. I actually found that to be true. I'm not saying that you shouldn't leave your new place for three months--just that you should be careful really to LIVE there and not just come home to do chores and sleep at night.

    Also, a place often feels much more like home when you leave and then come back. After you've been there for a couple months, you might consider taking a short weekend vacation--maybe go camping, or visit relatives, or whatever. Leave everything in good order so that when you return you can enjoy that, "Ahhh... home at last!" feeling.

    Sending good vibes that your place will truly become Home Sweet Home.

    Marisa
     
  7. almostthere

    almostthere Well-Known Member

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    IMHO your feelings have more to do with leaving your kids behind than anything. And the reason I think this is in your intro the first thing you talked about was that you're seperated with kids. You wouldnt have mentioned that first thing if it wasnt the first thing in your mind, when you describe yourself. Map out exactly how far it us between you, one day, two days, three? That might be easier to digest than saying how many miles away. You're going to make a home for yourself, and your kids willl see that. Are you moving for a better job, or just to get away? Its not selfish to take care of yourself. The better you take care of yourself the better parent you can be. So right now you have some land and the chance to make something out of it. Your kids will have a second place to call home and will be able to see Dad's talents in all that you create. I agree with the above posters, be kind and gentle with yourself, and give yourself time to get used to your new surroundings. Is it possible, to build your new place, one weekend at a time, as you stay where you are and pay down your debt? You could "vacation" until everything feels "just right' to move, and only you will know when that time will be.

    Good luck and keep posting. :D
     
  8. crashy

    crashy chickaholic goddess

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    Welcome to our world!!! When I used to live in the middle of no where at first it was hard but you do get used to it.But those kiddos...thats a tough one. Can you have them for the summer? That way you all could plan out the place and make it fun for them when they come to visit.
     
  9. OrganicGuy

    OrganicGuy Active Member

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    Apr 7, 2005
    Location:
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    Must say that today has been a real blessing to come back and find so many kind words and input, Thank You All it made my day. Sorry about blocking pm's I will reconfigure my settings. Yes the hardest thing I have to face everyday is the seperation of my kids. I have had full custody of the oldest three (Ashli's 13, Andrew's 11 and Melissa'a 8) for something like 6+ years and finally had to realize that the 1st wife had done some growing up and her and the kids stepfather could produce a better set of surroundings than I could w/ the problems I was having with the 2nd wife. It was very tough on me to let them go, I know it's for there best. Luckily both my 1st ex and I have made an agreement that after they finish there school year and stay there a couple of month this summer with me they can choose where they want to live.
    The current wife whom I'm seperated from has the other two Brandon 3 and Wayne 1. The 6th isn't here yet.... I know.
    I have to go back and forth between AZ and CA for some Dr. appts. that they cant seem to get right out there in Az. So luckily I get to see the kiddos on ocassion.
    I get a sence of being at home here and look forward to the day I can get online out on the ranch. If I'm in Az ill go to the library, right now I'm in The Mojave Desert of California and have internet access. I have slowed down on the coffee and cigs. to try and get healthier to work that land. I am a recovering alcohalic and have two years sobriety this month so I figure its time to take the next step and start w/vitamins and quitting smoking.
    I will go now it seems like I am all off subject and blabbering :confused:
    I look forward to returning soon and hope everyone has a blessed day.
    ps thanks again
     
  10. whiterock

    whiterock Well-Known Member Supporter

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    we'll be here with encouragement and advice.
    Ed
     
  11. OldYellersGhost

    OldYellersGhost Well-Known Member

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    roaming around.