Techie Joke

Discussion in 'Shop Talk' started by Ken Scharabok, Nov 24, 2004.

  1. Ken Scharabok

    Ken Scharabok In Remembrance

    Messages:
    6,844
    Joined:
    May 11, 2002
    > Chemistry Midterms
    >
    > The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    > chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
    > professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
    > course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
    >
    > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    > (absorbs heat)?
    >
    > Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    > (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
    > variant.
    >
    > One student, however, wrote the following:
    >
    > First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    > need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
    > at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
    > soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
    > As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
    > Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
    > that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
    > Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
    > belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
    > Hell.
    >
    > With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    > souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
    > change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
    > for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
    > Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
    >
    > This gives two possibilities:
    >
    > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    > enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
    > until all Hell breaks loose.
    >
    > 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    > Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
    > over.
    >
    > So which is it?
    >
    > If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    > that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take
    > into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2
    > must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
    > frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
    > over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
    > therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence
    > of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting
    > "Oh my God."
    >
    > THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A
     
  2. Countrybumpkin

    Countrybumpkin Well-Known Member

    Messages:
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    Joined:
    May 12, 2002
    Location:
    NW OHIO
    Now, theres a kid I would love to talk to, over a 12 pack, and with plenty of time on our hands...