Homesteading Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
424 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Can't even clarify where I'm at w/ my kids...All I know is life happens and I can't change that no matter how I try or wish to make it betterl...Its such a delicate balance between support and interference that I'm trying to follow her lead but its hard to figure out what she needs... any advice would be amazing...
 
T

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
In that situation, it is always good to help out with food. Everyone eats - so donating a couple sacks of groceries is the best way to go. Also, taking the children for a day, weekend, etc. and making sure they are eating good is helpful.
My Mom used to "accidentally" purchase some hugely monstrous chicken, and "belatedly realize" that he was "way too big for her to use" and she would give him to me... It was so nice for me to be able to "help Mom out" of that inadvertent purchase with which she was saddled! ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,153 Posts
Adult children who are in financial straits or aging parents? Or both? Responses would be different depending on which you are asking about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,954 Posts
Helping adult children is always walking a fine line. My personal rule is: If this supports the work they are doing to better themselves and I can afford to help, I will. If this enables them to avoid coming face to face with their bad decisions, I'm not. For example, our son wanted to go to college after being out in the work world for nearly 10 years but he could not afford to do both. We offered to allow him to live with us while he went to school full time. He did and it worked great. Before he made the decision to get his education though, he lived in poverty and struggled to meet his basic needs. Our doors were always open when he wanted to drop in for a meal but the checkbook was closed. I can see now if we had paid his bills it could have delayed the realization he needed to get his degree.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,634 Posts
I agree with Miss Kay. That is how we have handled (so far) our adult children. Granted, they are all in their early 20's, so they haven't been gone from home all that long, but they all know that if they are willing to work to fix a situation, we are here to help. We just won't give them a free ride through life.

Currently, we are preparing for my eldest son (24) and his family to move in with us. We had offered several years ago, when he got out of the military, that if they both wanted to use their GI Bills and attend school, they could move in with us while in college. At that time, ds did not want to go to school. Well, after having two good jobs and being let go twice (first was due to loss of gov't contract during sequestration, second due to downsizing/cutting second shift) and working at $10 an hour jobs in an area where a house in a safe neighborhood rents for $1000 a month, ds has decided he needs to go to college.

They will be moving nearly 1000 miles at the end of this month to come live with DH and I. They both will be enrolling in college full time, to start in January (and working full time between the beginning of October and when the semester starts).

All four of us adults know that this will not be an easy transition. They are used to having their own home, and DH and I were looking forward to being empty nesters by this time next year when our youngest child goes off to college. However, in the long run, it is a good thing. Plus, DH and I will get to see our two grandbabies (ages 2yrs and 2 months) every day instead of once or twice a year!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
15,981 Posts
I expect to be in this situation soon. I talked it over with a friend and we were able to come to a good solution that would help out the daughter, but not allow her to take advantage. We currently have two homes. One is a fixer upper that we are fixing up and will retire to. The other house we will sell. If Dd and her kids need a place to stay they can stay in the fixer upper. When we have the big house sold, they will have to move out. If we let them stay in the ‘for sale’ house, we might never get her out of it.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top