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Perpetually curious!
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My wife and I agreed we are happy with just the two children and that I shall be the one to get fixed (we figure if God intends for us to have more, he'll make it happen regardless! :p ).
She called the Urologists place for me (I'm hearing impaired) to find out what the next step is. First we have to go to a consulation where we both have to sign papers allowing me to get fixed? We found that quite odd.
A man has to get his wifes signature to get fixed but the wife is free to have an abortion without the fathers consent? :shrug:
Was just curious if this was standard practice across the U.S. or just our state?

<reminds self to stock up on bags of frozen peas>
 

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Dutch Highlands Farm
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It sounds more like the doctor's or clinic's policy. They can be quite medieval in their attitudes towards people opting for sterilization.
I was just 21 when I got my vasectomy. The doctor was hesitant because of my age, but I was adamant and he reluctantly agreed. The funny thing was, the information packet they sent me was missing the wife's consent form, so she signed one after I had the surgery.
BTW, I have never regretted my decision.
 

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Perpetually curious!
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Discussion Starter #3
You brought up a good point. The woman at the practice only said "it's required", I took it to mean a law. I could very well be mistaken! (I admit that once in a while! LOL) Regardless it doesn't matter in our circumstances because we both agree that this is the best route for us. Just thought it was a bit odd.
We are open to the possibility of adoption a few years down the road, we're just happy with the two we have naturally.
(by the way I'm a decade further along then when you had yours :) Not that it matters, just felt like throwing that in :p )
 

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When I had mine done they said they had to have my wifes signature also. Kind of a strange double standard.
 

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JJ Grandits said:
Kind of a strange double standard.
True. Why should the doctors care if she divorces you because she feels you denied her children? Have any of them been sued because of that?
 

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mean people suck
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When my ex has his vasectomy years ago in the military, no only did I have to sign but we both had to go to a class that told us the dangers and counseled us on the fact that the military would not pay for a reversal If I remember correctly, he also had to be of a certain age or have a certain number of children (two I think). It was weird.
 

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Happiness is Homemade
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when I had our last child (baby #5) 3 years ago.... they had to do a c-section and I had filled out the papers to have my tubes tied...

they stopped in the middle and ran to the nursery to get my hubby to sign the papers too, w/o it they would not have done the tubal.

that is strange.... I could have had an abortion w/o him... but not my tubes tied.
 

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My DH has been promising me for 13 years he would have it done. Still waiting. Anyway, I did check into it for him and I got the same story. Wife has to sign for the husband. Been holding that pen for 13 years-where's the paper?

By the way, DH is 43 and I'm going to be 39 at the end of this month. We've had 4 children and now have 2 grandchildren. I don't want to go through another pregnancy. If I have to, DH will be snipped, the dr. will just be optional!
 

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Why do they call it getting "fixed" when you are actually breaking something that works just as it was intended?

I agree that is a weird law!
 

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Plays with yarn
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When I got my tubes tied I had to get my husband's permission, so apparently the custom works both ways.
 

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Homestead Dreamer
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I had to get my wife's sig as well when I had mine.

3 words of advice...
1) try to find one of those frozen gel cold packs...lasts longer than frozen peas
2) Don't wear white underwear for a few days
3) do the razor work yourself before going in :)
 

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The definition of a Cad
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A man who tells his wife he had a vasectomy AFTER she tells him she is pregnant............. :D
 

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Not a law just the specific surgeon's (or clinic/hospital's) policy to decrease regrets and acting on impulse without the best advice of a helpmeet. IIRC ob-guns probably have statistics of how many women under 30 who got tubals regret it, and because of that or at least the idea if not proven fact they are quite reluctant to sterilize anyone under 30 unless they already have a passel of kids and ask persistently. I would counsel my vas patients and wives "You understand you'll never be able to have any more kids? She will, but you won't. So if anyhting happened- if she (or your kids) g*d forbid died or if you divorced you won't mind having to tell some second wife that children are not an option?" Most fellows laugh and seem pretty certain one family is enough for them.

Another point is some docs won't let you undergo it right when the stress of a brand new baby at home is on you. (Some parents might for a month after the FIRST baby be convinced they never want any more let alone the one they have.) So discuss and arrange the postbirth tubal or vasectomy BEFORE Mom is in labor.
 

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proud to be pro-choice
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Jerngen said:
My wife and I agreed we are happy with just the two children and that I shall be the one to get fixed (we figure if God intends for us to have more, he'll make it happen regardless! :p ).
She called the Urologists place for me (I'm hearing impaired) to find out what the next step is. First we have to go to a consulation where we both have to sign papers allowing me to get fixed? We found that quite odd.
A man has to get his wifes signature to get fixed but the wife is free to have an abortion without the fathers consent? :shrug:
Was just curious if this was standard practice across the U.S. or just our state?

<reminds self to stock up on bags of frozen peas>
Bottom line is a medical procedure is the choice of the person unless said person incapacitated or otherwise mentally incompetent. States have laws to prevent vindictive sterilization but if you are truly mentally disabled, it will happen. That being said, I went in to schedule a tubal (using the network insurance provider). He started in on the "I usually have the husband come in but you seem pretty sure". I had told him I was the one who never wanted to be pregnant again, matter of fact I'd rather be dead than pregnant. Told him the spouse wanted to keep his options open in case of death (mine) or divorce. He pretty much figured out that I'd sue his sorry heinie if he refused to do the surgery. But I have to admit I'm surprised you have to bring in your wife, usually it is the male doctor's ego and superior smugness that requires the husband to "ok the little woman's tubal". Threaten to sue if he doesn't do the surgery. Last I knew it was still a free country and most politicians enjoy crawling around in female reproductive organs, not males (homophobic)?
 

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Check the laws for Fathers and Mothers.

Men have no rights according to the geovernment when it comes to the say so of children.

That is why the divorce courts are full.

Even if the wife dies the husband has limmited rights, and they will watch him like a hawk to see if they can take the children away.

bumpus
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In all honesty I wonder if it really could be to keep the doctor from getting a summons to divorce court to explain that the husband has had a vasectomy and the resultant issue could not be his,.........
 

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A friend of mine had to do this, which she let the Dr know that she didn't agree with it at ALL. He divorced her shortly there after.
Here in AL a women can not get her tubes tied until the age of 21. My sister has a friend who is currently pregnant with her second and doesn't want anymore. The Dr will not do the tubal at the time of delivery because of her age. I believe that in FL you have to be 23.
Not something that I or DH intend to do.

Blessings,
Debi
 

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Just a caveat--most men can still father kids up to a month after a vasectomy. So, use a condom for any activity up to the two month mark, just to be sure.
 

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well, in the army, i was required to have my then husbands signature to have my tubes tied (i was active duty,not him) with 2 kids at the age of 24. then, 2 yrs later, they refused to do a vasectomy b/c i was preg with #3 (pill baby). i never had to sign for him to have a vasectomy, but he'd still have had to give permission for me to have my tubes tied. and, btw, the vasectomy is not 100% safe. we had #4 3 yrs after #3, i got preg w/him 2 yrs to the month after his vasectomy, and, yes, it is his kid. he finally went and got tested and is as fertile as if he never had a vasectomy. so be careful.
when i had #4 i had my tubes tied 6 weeks later. i don't think i had to have his permission then. if it had been required and he'd refused (he wouldn't have) i'd have forged his signature.
 
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