Speaking of racist.

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Ardie/WI, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Last weekend we were in the city, in a restaurant for lunch. Roger went to wash his hands. A group of Black teenage boys sat down next to me. Oh, they were loud and silly as teenage boys can be! :) When a young man brought them each a glass of water, the one kid made a joke that it was nice to be waiting on by a "white boy"! They all made comments and laughed. (I don't think they really meant to be rude...they were just trying to be cool.)

    Anyway, I leaned over and tapped the speaker on the arm and told him that I thought the statement was not only rude but RACIST! He and his friends looked at me for a long moment and I thought "Oh oh, now what did I get myself into!". He looked up and went to the young waitor and they talked a few seconds. I could see everything was all right between them. When the young Black man came back, I told him that he had my respect.

    I don't think any adult had ever said that to him. He was amazed! And I was proud of him.
     
  2. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    Well done :) I suppose when you have experience with knowing what that feels like you are likely more willing to have compassion for others placed in the same boat :)

    Hugs
    marlene
     

  3. hassette

    hassette Well-Known Member

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    Since moving to central Florida I have seen amazing examples of racism. The Wal-Mart where I used to shop had a person at the exit checking receipts, similar to how they do it at BJ's. I got in line behind a few Hispanic people who were all having their bags checked. I had my receipt out and started to hand it to the woman and she waved me through! I looked behind me and she was checking the bags of the black woman behind me. I guess if you are a white, middle-aged woman you don't steal. The most amazing part for me was that the checker was herself Hispanic!

    Another time we went to Universal and they have started checking all handbags when you go in. The Hispanic girl in front of me had a little tiny bag and the guard made her take everything out of it. I have a huge, messy bag, chockful of crap, and he barely gave it a glance.
     
  4. emulkahi1

    emulkahi1 Well-Known Member

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    Wow. What an amazing example of strong character. When confronted with a mistake, instead of becoming defensive, he approached the waiter and made it right. That is a difficult thing to do....I know that I would struggle with it. I might see where I was wrong, but would have a hard time getting up the nerve to approach the person and apologize (even though that would clearly be the right thing to do....it certainly wouldn't be the EASY thing).

    Someone raised that kid right...I bet that he will go far with that approach to life. Thank you for sharing that story Ardie :).
     
  5. dnw826

    dnw826 Well-Known Member

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    They do that here in NC, as well. Except when they did it and I was there, I had my three rambunctious kids and husband (I am uberwhite) and they stopped me, made me come back, went through my bags (personal and embarrasing) while I dug out my receipt from one of the bags. I was fuming. I ended up giving that lady the most evil look I hope she ever received.
     
  6. Trixie

    Trixie Well-Known Member

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    I guess I have a different perspective on the situation with the waiter.

    Really, truly, I know a lot of people don't believe this or don't want to believe it, but people can get along without being treated as children.

    Young people call each other those things all the time - it isn't a matter of racism or anything else. It is just banter.

    Dollars to donuts neither one of them even gave it a thought until it was brought to their attention it might be racist. Now they may not be a comfortable with another white person as they were.

    We need to give this racism thing a rest, folks. This next generation have a pretty good handle on it and are doing fine. Let's don't muck it up for them with our old thought patterns.
     
  7. dnw826

    dnw826 Well-Known Member

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    I agree. Though I think that it was responsible of the boy to apologize. That shows an amazing level of maturity-especially doing it with your friends there.

    And I can see it as just banter, except that it was towards a stranger. That is unacceptable.
     
  8. Jennifer L.

    Jennifer L. Well-Known Member Supporter

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    What is really nice about the boy that apologized, Ardie, was that he respected YOU for pointing it out to him. It's nice to hear of teenaged boys being like that.

    Jennifer
     
  9. centexguy

    centexguy Well-Known Member

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    I never liked the idea of Walfart thinking they can "Check my reciept" after they take my money, the bag and everything in it belongs to me. I never agreed to be searched for spending my money. I dont ever worry about showing them anything. If they are worried about people walking out with things they should design their checkout system better. Next time they ask to check your reciept tell them no thanks or look at them like your physco and keep walking. If you havent stolen anything they wont dare try to stop you. I do feel a little bad that their emoloyees are made to do this. This is what happens when a company gets to big. Im sure one day you will have to have a "card" to buy some walgas walfood......
     
  10. Kung

    Kung Administrator Staff Member Supporter

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    Yeah, it all depends upon who it is. I used to work with a black guy who was one of the smartest and most considerate people I knew. HE would be the one to call someone out if they were making comments like that. I could talk to him like any other person, and ask him all those questions you are afraid to ask, like "Man, WHY are some of those names so darn silly?" :p He'd answer them honestly. And HE would be the one to tell black jokes. LOL
     
  11. Trixie

    Trixie Well-Known Member

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    But you see, if he apologized, he didn't intend any harm.

    Now he may be more standoffish when dealing with other white people, he may stop before he speaks and wonder if he will be taken in the wrong way.
    It creates problems -

    I am sure the poster was well intentioned, I just think sometimes the racism of the past gets interjected where it doesn't exist. We need to let it die and not look for it in every word and innuendo.

    On a 60 minutes type show once, they were interviewing a black man who was a ferry boat captain, I think, in Washinton state. He was saying just the other day a group of people were talking around him and one of them said the word
    'coon--- (a three letter word the Bible calls a donkey). He and the interviewer were just 'oh mying, how horrible'.

    That word has nothing whatsoever to do with black people - it refers to Cajuns - or as my friend who calls herself one - a North Louisianan.

    If you look for racism - you will find it.

    I don't understand the stranger part --------------Banter and joking are just that. The fact that the young man felt comfortable in joking with someone of another race seems like a very positive thing to me. It is what is going to have to happen if we move forward.
     
  12. james dilley

    james dilley Well-Known Member Supporter

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    When I used to live in Jackson Miss. I got on the bus $13 to Presidental Hills Sub. And the driver asked me If I were not the wrong color to be on that bus. The # 13 went thru and to A All Black subdivsion of homes. But The side street before had A mixed nieghborhood of Black families and White Families. A old boy I know on the bus Asked the driver this question. I thought that sort of thing went out 20 years ago. The driver got Red faced over that. I guess he was not used to White boys being on the bus.
     
  13. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

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    Agree. Nice going, Ardie. The kid simply hadn't thought about what the other kid must have felt like. Wake-up call!

    Without a doubt, I have been the beneficiary of race favoritism, and I know it. I used to drive an ancient, gigantic Oldsmobile and then a massive Crown Vic - for some weird reason, this made me get pulled over constantly, even though I had done nothing wrong. And then, once the cops got a look at me, they always let me go...wonder what that was about? :rolleyes: Now that I drive a Camry, I can pretty much zip by a state trooper going 80 and know that I won't get pulled over. Looks like it's on me to control my own speed. :p
     
  14. Gercarson

    Gercarson Well-Known Member Supporter

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    If a person is a real racist a chastisment will certainly be met with anger rather than politness - I thought it was rather a display of being comfortable with one another. I think the "racist police" should police themselves and not become so involved in another person's views and beliefs - sort of like what I'm doing here - butting in! Oye...
     
  15. fantasymaker

    fantasymaker Well-Known Member

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    Ive noticed the samething I just assumed it was the advantaage of age.
    But I have noticed I can drive a $500,000 moterhome a lot faster than a $200 jalopy
     
  16. fantasymaker

    fantasymaker Well-Known Member

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    LOL never pay the slightest attention to the door checkers even when the alarm goes off let them call the cops if they want have a point.
     
  17. Trixie

    Trixie Well-Known Member

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    I guess that was what I was trying to say.

    My husband is the most naive, innocent, not biased person in the world. Seriously, he is oblivous to anything that he doesn't consider truly important and a persons age, race, economic standing, etc., are not important. He just doesn't see it.

    Once we got lost in a town and my husband pulled up the the corner where abut a half dozen young black boys were standing. He said, "Hey, boys, do ya'll know where such and such street is." I did a mental gasp.

    One of them took a pose and said, "Who're calling 'boy'.?"

    "I am calling you boy - you're not a man yet are you?"

    "Well, No, Sir I(that is a southern thing - not a subservient thing), and you take the next corner and go three streets down."

    'Thank you, son."

    "You're welcome."


    I haven't found the example of driving a jalopy as opposed to a nice car or motor home to be the case. That hasn't been the case anywhere we have driven in the country. In fact, I see more nice cars stopped than not.
    You see, they stop cars they know will pay the fines.
     
  18. almostthere

    almostthere Well-Known Member

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    That young man has someone in his life that cares enough to teach him right from wrong. He seemed to have lost his manners for a moment but corrected it without being asked or talked into doing it. That was a very gracefull and appropriate responce, both in calling him out and telling him you respect him for correcting it.
     
  19. Trixie

    Trixie Well-Known Member

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    <<<<<<That young man has someone in his life that cares enough to teach him right from wrong. He seemed to have lost his manners for a moment but corrected it without being asked or talked into doing it. That was a very gracefull and appropriate responce, both in calling him out and telling him you respect him for correcting i>>>>>>>>

    Perhaps he had someone in his life that has taught him there really is no difference. Maybe they have taught him to treat everyone the same. Perhaps ---

    Yes, and next time, he won't feel so comfortable around white people. He will be guarded.

    So what was accomplished? A nice young man was joking with someone of another race - not because he thought he was better, or not out of anger or hatred - just because he is a kid and he joked.

    He won't do that again without thinking, so a wedge, small - but a wedge - is now been put in the equation.
     
  20. hisenthlay

    hisenthlay a.k.a. hyzenthlay

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    Trixie--I could go along with your general principles, and the example about your husband, but I don't get how the black boy saying "it was nice to be waited on by a white boy" could be anything BUT a reference to race and most likely a reference to past racism. This doesn't sound at all to me like Ardie was the one who injected race into the conversation, and it DOESN'T sound like friendly banter to me at all. I wouldn't have had the fortitude to do what Ardie did, but it sounds like it worked out very well. Sometimes people think they can be rude and make racial remarks because they don't see the other person as being one of them, having feelings like them, etc., and they don't think they'll get called on it. They think it's cool. What Ardie did showed this boy (I think) that the people around him have higher expectations for him than what he was displaying on his own, and that he should treat this white boy with the same respect which he should rightfully expect to receive. I think that holding people accountable can actually create bonds between people, not drive a wedge like you suggested--it shows that you think they're worth something, and that they're better than their behavior.

    Sometimes, when the black kids in my neighborhood threaten me and my fiance, or throw their trash in our yard, or call me "white b****" while they're vandalizing my neighbor's property, or make "ching chong" type mocking noises at my fiance (his parents are Korean), or stand out front of our house and loudly sing rap songs about killing and doing other terrible things to "chinks" and women, I have a hard time thinking that they are better than their behavior. But we all act out what we learn, and I try to remember that that it is ignorance and anger and typical teenage stupidity driving their behavior, and hopefully not their true selves. I wish I had the courage to hold them accountable the way Ardie did--I think then we could actually develop a relationship of respect with these kids.