Sorry I have a hubby rant!!!! ARGH!!

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by allenslabs, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    Ok I need to blow off. I have gotten a goat that I milk and am in the search of a milk cow. Well DH wants to go to FL monthly to take hay and sell it and make a little profit. So he got mad that he won't be able to go since I got these milk animals. So he has been pouting for a couple weeks now over this. So I found someone today that will milk for me. I tell him and say so when do you want to go again...."I don't know." What do you mean I don't know.... I found a way for you to go. Do you want to go or not? "I Don't know." I asked if he would rather me just sell everything so we can go and he said I don't care. I know he's not a real talked anyway but I'm sick of this!! I'm not gonna get rid of them now. This is stupid! I think he's just been cooped up too long this winter and needs to get out some but don't know. He is the worst pouter and likes the farm but is "just tired of me wanting all these animals." I told him I had every animal I wanted. I have goats, cows, horses, dogs, cats, ponies and a donkey. And I want to be somewhat self suffiecient!! Who knows I might hate milking daily I don't know but I want to try. So UGH!!!!!!!!!!! Is my hubby the ONLY one like this!! It's REALLY annoying! I don't wanna keep wondering when he'll be normal but I'm getting tired. He's in PA this week for wk training and I'm almost glad. I can do what I want and my house stays cleaner and I don't have to be home in time for dinner to be ready for him. But I do love him and will miss him but we both get a vacation this way! HAHA!! Sorry I just had to rant. If I rant to family they'll probably hold a grudge or something and so still I just had to gripe to someone! Thanks all!
     
  2. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    Well, when he gets BACK from his training no doubt you 2 will make up! :haha: It IS hard to make up with a dude who is not there!

    I am confused about one thing....could he not go because he wanted you to go too and you could not leave the critters? Or, can't you milk?

    At any rate, with help arranged I dare say the problem will not come up again for a LONG, LONG time!
     

  3. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    Thank you Terri. He doesn't like to travel alone so he wanted me to go too. Well I didn't think I could find anyone to milk for me as most people don't find it as relaxing as I do. We have neighbors that will feed but are in their 70's and don't really care to milk as he had a jersey dairy in NY for years and got his fill I think! HAHA! We've been trying (or I should say I have been) to make up for about 2 weeks and am hoping that once he gets back since I have someone willing he'll get the kink out of his tail but you never know.
    You know how it is......you love them dearly but every once in a while you want to just flick them as hard as you can right between the eyes! HAHA!
     
  4. JoyKelley

    JoyKelley Well-Known Member

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    Justa little side question , If you all figure the details out where in florida are you bringing hay and what kind ????
     
  5. goatlady

    goatlady Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Just curious as to what you were supposed to do in Fla while he was "making hay?" HE wanted to go, too bad he doesn't like to travel alone! How childish as is his attitude when he thought you could not go. Sounds a little spoiled to me.
     
  6. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    We stay w/ relatives in haines city near orlando. We travel down I75 then hit the FL turnpike. The hay is a real nice alf/orch grass mix. About a 35/63% mix. Nice and dry w/ a pretty green color. We usually take down 150 bales as that's all we can fit in our 20ft stock trailer so we thought of buying a cargo trailer and bringing down 300 or so as we just keep getting more people wanting more. We sell it for $8 a bale and no one has minded yet. Actuallly they are thrilled as it's so much better than what we see for $10 at the feed stores!! I can't believe some of the hay I've seen there!! The stuff that says T&A we see very little of either in. I guess we're just spoiled or something up here. It's unreal down there what people feed their horses!
     
  7. JoyKelley

    JoyKelley Well-Known Member

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    Pleae put me on your call list when you head this way , I'd like to get a reserve in for 25 - 30 bales , if you can spare that much. It is a 3 hour drive each way but worth it for good hay. If thats OK PM me and I'll give you my number and email

    thaks

    Joy
     
  8. comfortablynumb

    comfortablynumb Well-Known Member

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    um...
    why cant he just go do it and leave you home to do your thing?
    why do you have to go with him?
     
  9. 2horses

    2horses I'm a silly filly!! Supporter

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    We need to point some of the folks on Singletree to this thread...

    Pam :cool: <------ is glad she's not expected to go just because he wants me to anymore!
     
  10. moonwolf

    moonwolf Well-Known Member

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    yup. I'm one that wished my ex spouse was more content with me being a homebody. Choosing travel or animals was often a bone of contention, and it was often because the retired 'non-animal committed' inlaw didn't want to visit and couldn't understand how difficult it was to get away for us. But, I guess that's another story. :rolleyes:
     
  11. RedneckPete

    RedneckPete Well-Known Member

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    You should be glad your husband want to take you along to Florida.

    Sounds like he likes your company and would rather spend his trip with you then with who knows who else.

    I hazard a guess there are many women out there that WISH they had your problem.

    Pete
     
  12. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    I do dearly love my hubby but I also forgot to mention that when we are traveling it's not just awe cute hubby and wife. We have 3 kids ages 6,5 and almost 2. Now don't get me wrong the older 2 love it! Can't wait to get to grannys house! (we stay w/ his mom and they call her granny) We have a portable dvd player that they watch and they color but man 16 hrs in a club cab 1ton truck is really tiring. I think I take it worse than they do as I have a lot of trouble sitting like that in a truck as he drives and I sit on the passenger seat w/ all things needed up front packed around my legs. To move my legs I have to move something. We have a tote w/ our clothes in it and such to avoid rain but only so much can go in the back. All drinks and snacks need to be up front, my purse, diaper bag, bread and just your general stuff. And he can move around and stuff easily. The youngest which is our son really is good considering his age. But I get stressed when I hear even the beginning of a yell as I think "oh no.... is he gonna have a fit. What's he want? Does he need his diaper changed?" and so I get very little enjoyment out of the trip down. Now once we get there it's nice. My inlaws have a little apartment built onto their house for family or friends to stay in to visit and so it's private. They live in a retirement park so it's quiet and no cars so the kids can ride bikes and such and we try to go somewhere fun.
    I want to go down w/ him to make him happy as he does do a lot to please me. Like we have horses and he is not a horse fan but he grinds special feed for them and such and I get to stay at home and we homeschool and so I am very fortunate. I hate though to not do this w/ him as he's looking at the $ part of it and we all know we can all use more of that green stuff. So if he wants to go I'll go but now if it were me and it were my idea then I'd go alone if needed. But I'm just like that. He likes me to be there to get his drinks or sandwich or whatever and will talk some but he's not a talker which makes the trip even funner! HAHA!!
    Ok I rambled but I wanted to let that off. HAHA!
     
  13. longshadowfarms

    longshadowfarms Well-Known Member

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    Amen! How very fortunate you are to have a hubby who wants to be with you! I hate to drive anywhere, a terrible home body, but I love my sweetie and I'm happy to go along with him even if it is just a dumb errand. I'm glad to have the time to chat or just sit companionably. I'll even sit and watch a movie with him even though I don't care to watch a movie, it is just to be together. Of course, my sweetie's likely to fall asleep in the car or watching the movie but still folks, be happy to be together! Try counting your blessings with him before you count his bad points. ;)
     
  14. longshadowfarms

    longshadowfarms Well-Known Member

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    Guess we were posting at the same time... 2 year old - I'm beginning to understand...
     
  15. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    Oh I know that one. I can't say as I'm a lord of the rings fan or a star wars fan or any type of war movie fan but I'm pretty sure I've seen them all! HAHA!! And usually he does fall asleep and I can't quit watching a movie once I've started no matter how bad just to see what happens. It's an annoying trait. But I do it just to be nice. I try to do stuff w/ him and help him outside but he doesn't say a lot like I've said and when I'm trying to help he doesn't say anything unless I screw up and not even know I did it cause I didn't know I was doing something wrong. He's almost female sometimes! HAHA!! Case in point.....I went and picked up a load of firewood from the Amish. I took the 3 kids and loaded the whole load by myself and brought it home and had to make dinner and feed so didn't get it unloaded and was wanting him to help as I didn't just have to throw it in the garage floor. So I see him open the garage door and so I get my gloves on fast as I can cause I wanted to be nice and help. Well he was rude and I said "just stack em on the tailgate so I can get them and I'll stack em on the floor." What's he do? He just throws them in the middle of the garage floor cause he was annoyed I'd left it there all week (4 days) and not unloaded it and it was drizzling and he ddin't want it wet. Yes it was gonna get wet but hey it wouldn't take that much longer to be nice. That really hurt my feelings cause I would try to pick them up off the garage floor and he would just keep tossing them and I just finally went in the house as he would toss it and it would fly up and it me and did about 4 times and I was done. That was the rudest thing and I would never do that to him. I have spoiled him horribly in the 5 yrs we've been married and even his mom will say that. But he does take care of me. He gives me pretty much free rein. If I want something within reason he's pretty much ok and I'm the same way. He wants something and sure I'll say "why?" but he gets most what he wants same as I. We are pretty fair about that.
     
  16. debitaber

    debitaber Well-Known Member

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    8$ and 10$, a bale? WOW> I get 3d cut alfalfa for 2$, I can't believe that people will pay that much. tha is very hight. I should bring down a load of good 3d cutting alfalfa, wonder what I would get for that?
     
  17. allenslabs

    allenslabs Saanen & Boer Breeder

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    Yes see we pay 2.50 for it here in IN but by the time we pay gas(and that was when gas was $2 not 2.30!) and a hotel and everything it sells for $8 to make it even worth it to us. A person could make a living out of it if they didn't mind to be on the rd all the time. But by the way the people we've talked to really like the mixed hay better. We usually deal w/ horse people though that have their horses stabled a lot and so they don't like the high energy the alf puts off and prefer the mixes. We saw one stable that fed straight alf and the barn manager didn't like it.
     
  18. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I cured DH of pouting not too far into our relationship! I simply ignored him and left him to pout has long as he wanted to. When he realized that I really didn't give two your-know-whats about his behavior, he quit!

    Also, his wood throwing was a temper tantrum. You did right by walking away. A temper tantrum isn't any fun without an audience.
     
  19. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I didnt realize someone else was living my life!!! :p

    My hubby is the exact same spoiled PITA about the animals. My children are about the same age but I share them with my parents and my childless sister. Most weekends I have just the youngest one. I like to be home and I adore the companionship of my goats. Hubby goes to camp wants me to go....but I know the trick "oh hunny come to camp...cook clean and stack wood all weekend and keep my back warm at night"

    After several weekends of him being at camp alone I ventured up for a day. The camp was a giant mess. I stayed long enough to use the outhouse and left. I didnt make the mess and I'm NOT cleaning it. I have taken the goats up there for the summer and milked in the kitchen(no mess) but he was only visiting on weekends.

    I enjoy having the bed to myself and not having to listen to the snoring, not having to cook and clean up the mess. The man is higher maintenance than 3 children, 5goats, dog and cat. GEEZ :rolleyes:

    He is good at a few things....one in particular comes to mind :eek: ....Every man needs a saving grace, be it a talent or a tolerant wife. ;)
     
  20. BCR

    BCR Well-Known Member

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    Anyone can learn to be a talker if they want to...it takes practice like most things worthwhile. Communication is one of the keys to a good relationship. You need to be able to discuss the reasons you are reluctant to make the trip and he needs to be able to state why he wants to go. Consider sitting down uninterrupted to air your feelings, set a time and start now, before these things build up. Don't settle for trying to read each others' minds.


    And don't forget, there are other options here. If you need the money that bad, he could go alone, you could go alone, or you and the kids could go alone (sounds ridiculous to me, but it might be possible). Brainstorm and come up with a solution you can both live with.