Sometimes I want to strangle my husband...

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by donsgal, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

    Messages:
    5,398
    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    Location:
    SW Missouri near Branson (Cape Fair)
    About three years ago I was coming out of a large parking garage after a job interview and because all I had was one $20 bill, I received a ten dollar bill and a few ones in change for the parking fee. Because it was a busy garage and cars were lined up behind me to get out, rather than fish around trying to find and open my purse, I stuck the money in the console, under something heavy and drove off.

    As the day wore on, I made several stops, forgetting that the money was there. At the end of the day, dh asked me for the receipts and change (he handles all the money in the family).

    I handed him the receipts and went out to get the $10 (and few ones) and found out they were gone! Presumably, while I was getting in and out of the car, they must have accidentally blown out.

    I received a good tongue lashing about how I had been careless, and if I had done it "properly" (put my money away in my purse instead of sticking it the console) that this wouldn't have happened. After about an hour, I assumed it was forgotten.

    Remember now, this was THREE YEARS AGO.

    Last Friday, I was walking out of a convenience store when I noticed that something was caught in the fence near the sidewalk. I bent down to look at it only to discover a $5 bill. I was so excited. Dh was waiting for me in the car and I proudly showed dh what I had found... His reply?

    "Good, that's half of the $10 you lost".

    Arggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh sometimes I just want scream.

    Rant mode off, thanks for listening.

    donsgal
     
  2. DonnaKay

    DonnaKay Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    189
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2006
    LOL Donsgal...your husband sounds just like mine!! There are so many things that I either don't do or do just because I don't want to hear about it for the next 50 years!!

    A couple of years ago I signed up for a week long snowboarding class...mostly because my husband really wanted me to learn...it's a favorite sport of his...and I thought it would be nice to share an interest with him. The class lasted several hours a day and was 5 days long. Snowboarding is a pretty physically demanding sport...to say that I'm non athletic and out of shape would really be an understatement...by the end of the fourth day I had hurt my shoulder, was covered in bruises...had suffured the embarassment of falling off the T bar too many times to count...all the while trying not to be ran over 4 year old skiers that had no problem using the T bar. On the morning of day five, race day :eek:, I causually remarked that I thought I'd just stay at the cabin with the kids and play in the snow...oh boy..."What, you're just gonna waste all that money we spent on lessons?!?

    I knew right then if I didn't go I'd be hearing it for the rest of my life...25 years down the line if I wanted to take a cake decorating class he say "why you'll just quit like you did the snowboarding lessons" everytime we talked about vacation spots we loved I'd have to hear about the time we went and I wasted all that money :rolleyes: So I went...secretly hoping that I'd end up in a body cast and really show him (i guess that's what grandma meant when she said I was so stubborn I'd cut off my own nose to spite my face)...actually ended up having a pretty good time that day...I even came in 3rd...or 2nd to last...depends on how you look at it...lol

    Donna
     

  3. uncle Will in In.

    uncle Will in In. Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    7,154
    Joined:
    May 11, 2002
    Gal, tell him if he was a good provider as real men should be, you wouldn't have had to be out looking for a job!
    Your handle on here tells some of the problem.
    Does being Donsgal mean he owns you?
     
  4. Patty0315

    Patty0315 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,177
    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2004
    Location:
    NY
    That would be the day I had to not only hand him the receipt but the change also ! And if he brought up something so little as that 3 years later he would be cooking his own meals for awhile , laundry tooo !
     
  5. MaineFarmMom

    MaineFarmMom Columnist, Feature Writer

    Messages:
    4,568
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2002
    Location:
    Maine
  6. mammabooh

    mammabooh Metal melter Supporter

    Messages:
    7,152
    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2004
    Location:
    Jeromesville, Ohio (northcentral)
    He sounds like a woman to me (holding grudges and all).
     
  7. Pony

    Pony Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    19,807
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2003
    I don't think he sounds like a woman at all. I think he sounds like a very controlling individual.

    Most of the women I know are far too quick to forgive really big things for which others should be accountable.

    Like holding 3 year long grudges over something as silly as $10.

    Pony!
     
  8. via media

    via media Tub-thumper

    Messages:
    1,588
    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2005
    He asked you for the receipt?? It better have been tax deductible or else I have some ideas about where HE could start looking for the receipt...

    /VM
     
  9. mammabooh

    mammabooh Metal melter Supporter

    Messages:
    7,152
    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2004
    Location:
    Jeromesville, Ohio (northcentral)
    Most of the women I know will SAY they forgive, but never really do...they hold on to it and let the pain re-infect them day after day after day.
     
  10. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    3,701
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2002
    Location:
    Wi.
    Some men have long memories, but this is ridicoulous! You should have bought your lunch with that change. Phooey on him.....
     
  11. Bearfootfarm

    Bearfootfarm Hello, hello....is there anybody in there.....? Supporter

    Messages:
    52,841
    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Location:
    Eastern North Carolina
    Thats the first thing I thought of too
     
  12. moonwolf

    moonwolf Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,576
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Location:
    Canada
    interesting. I always suspected that was part of what they learned in 'Women's School'. I'll have to back and review my book again by Roger Welsch "Everything I Know about Women, I learned From my Tractor" LOL :p
     
  13. Hip_Shot_Hanna

    Hip_Shot_Hanna Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,504
    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2005
    Location:
    Texas
    Yes, he does sound controlling. My first husband was very much the same way. I had to return all change and so on as well as justify every expense.

    And yes, Donsgal.. it's maddening - nothing you can do to change his reactions either.

    Except tell him how stupid he is for being that way.. lol! You recently had a post where you told about how you bought your first new shoes in five years, my gosh, the money you must have saved him over that time must be more than ten dollars by buying second hand shoes :)

    And according to a book I read, every penny saved is two or three earned since you don't have to pay taxes of any sort on money you didn't spend.
     
  14. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    15,516
    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    I agree with Uncle will and Pony.

    Why anyone would allow themselves to be treated with such disrespect?

    If anyone EVER tried that, that person would be told to kiss my tail feathers and call it a lovestory! I had a second husband that tried that behavior-the marriage lasted two year and two months too long!
     
  15. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

    Messages:
    4,389
    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2004
    Location:
    Southeastern PA
    :p You beat me to it. I was going to suggest what he could do with the $5 she found. I'd tell him, in no uncertain terms, to get over it. Surely the brain cells that are hanging onto this incident could be put to better use. :rolleyes:

    Whew - good. I thought for sure this was going to end with a spectacular disaster and some broken bones. :help:
     
  16. ceresone

    ceresone Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    5,018
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2005
    I couldnt-and wouldnt live like that--I see in in my closest friend every day. (Dont you DARE ask me to account for every penny, only because of me do you have everything you have today!)
     
  17. Snowdancer

    Snowdancer Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,828
    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2002
    Location:
    Dyersville, Iowa

    Is this one of those examples of what being a 'good' wife is all about?

    I faintly remember in the Affairs thread that you said if a woman treated her man well-he wouldn't roam. Well, heck if this type of accountability is what some think makes a good wife & somehow assures no affairs; the wife wouldn't be able to get out no matter what the husband was doing since she'd have to ask him for the money to even get gas to leave! :nono:
    btw, Does you hubby have to account for every penney to you; even though he does the books? Sadly, if it's only the wife doing the accounting for every dollar, it's not a healthy marital partnership IMO, it sounds more like an employer/employee arrangement. :p
    No thanks, I think each should have money they don't have to account for right down to the penney. :help:
     
  18. Cashs Cowgirl

    Cashs Cowgirl Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    1,724
    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2006
    Location:
    Louisiana
    I just kept thinking...yeah he's perfect I'm sure...he's never misplaced $10 has he? I'd tell him to stuff it and find something more useful to think about. My husband knows better than to berate me like a 2 yr old. I do not and will not put up with it. I also do not do the same to him. We've been married almost 10 years. He does the bills too here, but I do all the shopping for just about anything we need for our home, farm, ourselves, or kids.
     
  19. MWG

    MWG Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    688
    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2006
    Location:
    Lincolnton NC
    I just would have said, "boy I sure hope you don't ever loose any money!"
     
  20. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

    Messages:
    7,273
    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Location:
    Zone 8a, AZ
    Many years ago i put 500.00 (our mortgage payment) in a book so it would not get lost before sending it later in the month. About two weeks later I took all the books to a good will. Money still in. When I found out what happened I went to good will but of course it was gone. Told DH about it and he was stunned silent. After a few minutes he sat down at the table and said "lets both start making a list of who we could borrow a few bucks from and see if we can come up with the amount we need". Not one word was ever said about me being less than perfect for making this mistake. In the following 7 years it has never been brought up once. Though he does pretty often tell folks not to follow me cause i have no sense of direction (true)
    donsgal i know you care about this man or you would not be with him. how you treat each other is entirely up to the two of you. do i wish he treated you different - i dont know, perhaps this is the custom in your home and you both have agreed that it is a good thing for you. In that case, may you both be blessed with patience and a short memory! Sis