[chickenista]

Refer to other thread about school. I have gotten lots of suggestions to homeschool and have and do consider it daily. Teacher sent a book list home for us to fill out every night of the books we read. Sent note back saying we do long chapter books and listen to books on tape, but that I wold list the chapters read ..so I do have doubts about where he is in his earning versus public school. But, here's the rub..
I have known and been great friends with homeschooler parents before..in fact in my previous town I knew only one parent whose child went to school.
But, I have found that their children are not being taught anything at all. A 7 yo that doesn't know his alphabet, for instance. Or are so crazy and violent that they are a danger to others. Parent has taught him to be proud of his "terrible rage". Now mot of these people are unschoolers, but it seems more that they just don't want to do the work. But, they are members of the homeschoolers group. i am wanting more and better interactions with children that are being taught and given the tools they need for real life as adults. These are the only experiences I have had with homeschooling and homeschooling groups. I am impressed with people like Paolini that wrote Eragon. One of the most flawlssly written books I have ever read.. he was homeschooled, but i have never seen it done right up close.
Also, not a Christian and most homeschool groups that I can find are Christian based. Tht would be uncomfortable for me.
I am not trying to start a war, just saying thatI haven't seen any god examples of homeschooling, even tho I am for it on principle.
Flameproofing undies now.
Oh and what I am saying is that are far as socialization and group activities I am concerned that uninterested parents an maniacal children like those I have met so far would be the only choices left to me. That was the crux and I forgot to put it in. Duh

 

[TedH71]

I'm considering home schooling my son. Main reasons are: undue influences on my child by peers (clothes, the way they walk/talk, etc), plus homeschooling usually takes 2 hours a day max while we pay teachers to fill up the 6 hours with extra activities which could be better filled with field trips to museums, tours, and other activities. A happy child is a child that has learned his/her class subjects and has had all day to be a child and play or whatever. I do not want a teacher to be the most influence on my child. It is the parents' job to be the good influence. As for KS, we have a huge homeschooling group that has all types of people in it so I do not think I will have problems.

 

[connie in WV]

Just like anything you can think to do, there are people that do an exceptional job, people who have no business doing it and all those in between. Homeschooling is no exception.

Base your decision to homeschool on what kind of job you think you can do for your child. Being a Christian is not a pre-requisite for homeschooling, therefore, you will be able to participate in activities (i.e. 4-H) and find non-Christian based curriculum that will work for you.

It's so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing. Do what you feel is best for your son.

 

[ozark_jewels]

The great thing about homeschooling is that *you* teach your son the way you want to. There will always be failures at homeschooling the same way there are failures in every other aspect of life. Just set your goals and don't be one of them.
I was homeschooled all my childhood. And I thank my parents for making that decision!

 

[Tracy Rimmer]

What you're talking about isn't a homeschooling issue (child rage, not learning in a homeschool environment), it's a parenting issue. Crappy parents do not become good parents just by deciding to home educate their kids.

Homeschooling takes MORE effort than sending them to public school. LOTS more. Any home educator who really "gets" it will tell you that some people simply should NOT homeschool -- they just give the rest of a bad name.

As for the Christian aspect to homeschooling -- I find that that does seem to be the case in the US, but not so much here in Canada. Yes, you have your people who keep their children out of the public system, not because they feel they can offer them a better academic education, but to keep them from being exposed to ANY other thought, even as a theory -- but here in Canada, that seems to be the exception, not the rule. But then, here, Christian schools are publicly funded and a viable option for everyone -- so to receive a "Christian" education you don't have to homeschool.

Home educating your children requires a lot of work, a lot of patience, quite a bit of money, and a true dedication to getting your child the absolute best education possible, no matter the cost to YOU.

As to these children being the only options for socialization -- are these the only people you know, at all? Children do not need a dozen others their exact same age to become well-socialized, they need to be exposed to situations where social skills are necessary -- like going to the grocery store and TALKING to the cashier, talking the the librarian, hanging out with others at the Y -- of all ages, and being required to interact with them to get what they need. Don't speak for your children, make it necessary for them to manage on their own in social situations with your GUIDANCE by without your taking over, and the socialization will come. It's not necessary to have a classroom or schoolyard-like situation for them to accomplish this -- and you don't have to hang out with people you don't like to do it, either. As a matter of fact, choosing to NOT hang out with these kids is a valuable socialization lesson for your kids.

Others' mileage may vary, of course -- this is what I know from my experience.

 

[Christine in OK]

As for the Christian aspect to homeschooling -- I find that that does seem to be the case in the US, but not so much here in Canada. Yes, you have your people who keep their children out of the public system, not because they feel they can offer them a better academic education, but to keep them from being exposed to ANY other thought, even as a theory -- but here in Canada, that seems to be the exception, not the rule. But then, here, Christian schools are publicly funded and a viable option for everyone -- so to receive a "Christian" education you don't have to homeschool.

Wow, that's pretty awesome. In the U.S. if you want a religious education, you either homeschool or pay twice - once with taxes for public schools and then again for private tuition.

 

[heather]

I am homeschooling this year for the first time - a first grader

I agree with you that some homeschooled children seem out of control (so do some public schooled children!)

I went to a homeschooling picnic this summer, thinking I could meet some other like-minded families & children

Hoo boy! Let's just say that we won't be going to another picnic!
My girls stood in shock and stared at some of the kids' behavior. Loud, obnoxious, rude, gross talk, etc....with parents who stand around chit chatting & not addressing it -

It was discouraging

But I've also met others who are doing well & have polite children & learn far above their regular "grade level" peers

You have to keep looking around.
Our local homeschooling group is also a Christian group which is fine with me, because that's what I am, but if it makes you uncomfortable, keep looking

 

[ozark_jewels]

Homeschooling takes MORE effort than sending them to public school. LOTS more.

I agree. And the thing about homeschooled children not being socialized is something I hear a lot from public schoolers, but its simply not true. *Most* homeschooled children I know respond in most situations better than *most*(not all) public schooled children. They know better how to interact with *all* ages, not just their peers. They don't spend most of the day trying to fit in and learn with their peers as much as they spend the day learning lessons of school and life with parents, friends and older/younger people.

 

[booklover]

Well, Chickenista, I'm right there with you. Let me tell you my experience with homeschooling.

My sister homeschooled her two daughters. They are now 27 and 26 years old. One still can't read. That daughter has been in trouble since she was a teen. She had 3 illegitimate children, ballooned to over 500 lbs. then after surgery went WILD! Drugs, sex with various men, getting thrown out of bars for fist fighting. She has given up her kids because she's attending AA and anger management. She can't even tell you the year man first went to the moon or do simple mathematics. It's so very sad. The other one married at 17 (to an older man she met on the internet and had never seen before he came to "make him her bride"... that wasn't a typo, that's what he said!) and has spent the last 9 years sitting in her trailer, getting fat and playing (I'm not kidding) 12 hours of video games and sleeping the other 12.

My sister would put her kids in school, then get ----ed off about something stupid like "they sent home a note saying my daughter needs to be in remedial reading because she is 9 and reading at a 1st grade level!" or "they sent home a note saying that keeping my kids out of school because I'm too lazy to get up in the morning and get them to the bus stop is not an excused absence!"... and then she'd pull them out of school. They always have had financial problems (even though the hubby makes 6 figures), and after filing bankruptcy, would get kicked out of their house, move somewhere and then the process would start all over again. Neither of the girls graduated. They have no social skills.

My sister swears it "wasn't her fault" and is now homeschooling the grandkids. :doh: God, it's so frustrating!!

I have 3 friends who homeschool. One is an *amazing* homeschooler. She keeps to a schedule, her kids are grades ahead of their peers in schoolwork, and you can tell that she just loves what she is doing (it helps that she is intelligent, herself... a reader and a forward-thinker that would never compromise anything when her children are involved). The other two "unschool". All I can see is that the kids get to play every day. None of the kids are doing the work their peers are doing, and two of them are 9 and 11... neither of which can read chapter books or do multiplication.

I don't hold much by homeschooling and I never will. <Booklove dons her flame-proof suit>

 

[ginnie5]

I'm not too terribly far from you and if you'd like to get together sometime I'd love to. we've homeschooled since oldest dd was in 3rd grade. She's in college this year and working. My kids are not geniuses....but they also are nothing like what you describe. Course my just turned 6yo doesn't know his alphabet....he's learning sounds as opposed to names. anyway Our group does park day and while it is a Christian group I think you would be comfortable in one like it.....no one is going to push anything on you. I'd be glad to invite you to a park day or something so you could see how things are. Just let me know!

 

[Melissa]

The thing is the parent who is the amazing homeschooler would most likely have amazing kids even if they went to school. And the parents who have the kids who don't do any work or can't read a chapter book would probably not do well at school either. There would be rare expections of course, but good parenting generally produces good kids!

 

[AngieM2]

Most of the homeschoolers I've known have been high level competitive ice skaters, and they do it so it can fit around their skating practice schedules.

Then in recent years I've met more and more, "normal" people homeschoolers.
Guess it's a trend. Good and bad with all versions of schooling.

Angie

 

[Genevieve M.]

Only you know what kind of homeschooling parent you would be. If you are afraid that you wouldn't really teach your child, and that you would allow him to grow up undisciplined and uneducated, than he absolutely belongs in school.

The fact that he is reading 7 letter words at 4 years of age makes me think that you would probably be a very good teacher for him.

 

[TedH71]

Most child actors are home school and the film producers pay for their schooling.

I was reading by age 2 due to going to school. Was born deaf so by law they require deaf kids to go to school quite early.

 

[Ashtina98]

I too have looked into homeschooling my 2 dd's (4th grade this year). The reasons I looked into it were:

1. The awful language 2nd and 3rd graders were using in public school
2. My daughters coming home and telling me about the sex talks they overheard (by 3rd graders) One young boy even said he wanted to have sex with my dd (age 8).
3. Kids are in school basically 8 hours a day (full time job), then they come home and do homework for an hour (in the 3rd grade) then it is dinner time, bath time and bed time. When do they get to be kids?

These are my main reasons for looking into it. I was ready to do it this year but we ended up moving and switching school districts and dh wanted to see how things go here before we make any decisions. Then 2 weeks after moving I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer so right now having the kids in school helps with me getting into Little Rock weekly for treatments etc.

Now on the flip side I was was dead set against homeschooling for quite a while because my sisters sil homeschooled her kids for many years and when she finally put them into public school they were all behind and they had no social skills whatsoever. I feel that you need to shelter your kids somewhat but they also need to be able to handle Life! Anyway this is just my take on it. It really does depend on the parent(s) that are doing the hs as to whether or not it will work.

Btw, here in Arkansas there is a program where your kids learn from home but the curriculum is provided for you along with a computer etc. You have to submit grades and communicate with somekind of teacher/contact from the school district you live in. Other states offer this and it may be a nice compromise depending on what you are looking for.

Dee

 

[booklover]

The thing is the parent who is the amazing homeschooler would most likely have amazing kids even if they went to school. And the parents who have the kids who don't do any work or can't read a chapter book would probably not do well at school either. There would be rare expections of course, but good parenting generally produces good kids!

The two unschoolers are really amazing parents, too. Their kids are gentle and kind, but they are just ignorant. There is no schooling going on. (Yeah, my sister stinks as a parent, too, I agree. The younger daughter, though for some reason was in public school longer than her sister and she absolutely excelled there! She's the one that is able to read. By read, I mean, able to pick up a novel and comprehend it. She also somehow has an intrinsic ability for critical thinking, although, she's quite ignorant about the world.)

 

[ArkansasLady]

you know what..we all know the horror stories from both sides...great homeschooling parents, lousy ones, great ps stories, horror ps stories...thing is..YOU and only you can make the decision, and if you are on the fence and "iffy" about it, you prolly should just leave your child in ps..homeschooling is not easy and not for everyone, ps is by far easier on everyone, but if you want to pick and choose what your child learns then ps wont be for you...but it is your decision, none of us can make it for you...

~C~

 

[hisenthlay]

I second Melissa's point, with some exceptions.... Parents can be great and wonderful, but there are still times where it would NOT be good for a kid to be homeschooled by them. Example: my parents were both extremely loving to me as a kid, they are good people, they cared deeply about my education and would've done anything for me, and they are both smart and well-educated--BUT homeschooling would've been a disaster. My parents couldn't stand each other, so our house was pretty much always tense. Getting out of the house 8ish hours a day was a HUGE benefit to my sanity. If a home environment isn't generally peaceful and functional, I'd say the parents should NOT homeschool unless there are NO other half-decent options. I know a girl (21) now who was homeschooled in a rather dysfunctional home (an instance of adultery led to real trust issues between the parents, and some isolation of the family unit to prevent further cheating), and all of those issues have been ingrained and magnified in her personality.

Additonally, my parents each have foibles that would've interfered with teaching. They're not too weird, no different than anyone else, really, but again, being exposed so much to them would've magnified their impact on me. What I mean is that, if you're in school and you have a so-so kindergarten teacher, well, that's only for a year, and you have your parents to balance them out, and your first grade teacher might be super. If you're homeschooled and your parents aren't super teachers, there's no other big influence to balance them out, and there's no better teacher coming up next year. For me, I feel like I was able to appreciate and adopt my parents' many strengths, and have enough other good influences at school so that I wasn't condemned to pick-up their weaknesses.

I'm not against homeschooling in principle--I think it can be the very best thing for some kids. I just hope that those who choose to do it are able to make an honest assessment of themselves to decide whether they really want to have such a predominant influence on their kids!

 

[Tracy Rimmer]

I don't hold much by homeschooling and I never will. <Booklove dons her flame-proof suit>

So because you know some crappy parents, then homeschooling is a bad thing?

I have a friend whose kids are completely out of control. They don't listen to her, or to anyone else. I've seen her son KICK her father when he was told to behave. They came to stay at my home ONCE and caused over $1000 damage in three days. They attend public school.

A very close friend who has been my friend since our children were toddlers has two kids who treat their parents like garbage, demand what they want and whine until they get it. There is no discipline in their home, their daughter can't read, can't do basic mathematics, but she can sure shop! She's eleven, and spends more on clothes than I do for my ENTIRE family. They attend public school.

I know a mother who has lost her children THREE TIMES to social services. They keep letting her have them back, as soon as she gets a job and attends addiction counselling. She weighs WELL over three hundred pounds, and spends the vast majority of her time on the internet. The minutes she gets her kids back, she slides back into her old ways. Her kids are illiterate, probably mostly due to the fact that they miss so much school when she's got them, and her parenting skills are NONEXISTENT. These children attend public school.

Because I know these three people who are crappy parents, whose children struggle in school or simply don't care enough to try, then I should say "public school doesn't work"? I'm not that naive. Of course the public system works for some... those who are willing to invest in it. Kind of like homeschooling.

 

[Becca65]

you know what..we all know the horror stories from both sides...great homeschooling parents, lousy ones, great ps stories, horror ps stories...thing is..YOU and only you can make the decision, and if you on the fence and "iffy" about it, you prolly should just leave your child in ps..homeschooling is not easy and not for everyone, ps is by far easier on everyone, but if you want to pick and choose what your child learns then ps wont be for you...but it is your decision, none of us can make it for you...

~C~

Well said..