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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I had to go thorough heck and high water to get the children on Wellcare, through Medicaid and to get food stamps for them. The insurance cards finally got here last week and the food stamp card today. Mom called and said yesterday that she would leave them here. SO after spending 4 HOURS!!! of my morning and missing those 4 HOURS OF WORK!!!, getting the little girl enrolled in school, that cow called and said, "she just wants her kids back." So tomorrow I have to go and unenroll her!

I told her that they are her children and she was free to get them, but I do not operate a revolving door and if she takes them, she takes them. We have altered our schedules to make sure that there is always one of us to watch the baby and to accomodate the school schedule. I don't want the too much of the care of them falling on my youngest DD (15). She is homeschooled and needs time to get her school work done too.

Also, the day she picks them up is the day I put the cards in an envelope and drop them in the slot at the DFACS office to cancel services. I will not go through that again for no reason. The little girl went to the dentist, first time in her life, last Friday. She has 2 cavities in back molars that need fillings. One in bothering her. Her appt. for the fillings was next Tues. The baby went to the doctor yesterday. He is so behind on shots that they couldn't give them all on that visit. He is due back in 2 weeks. And the little girl is due at the doctor next Wednesday.

Mom has not insurance with her waitressing job and dad is self-employeed with no insurance. I called their dad, my nephew and he says he will see that his DD gets to the dentist and that both children get to the doctor. I hope, for their sakes, he follows through.

I am sending the clothes and toys that I bought the children to their father's house. Their mom doesn't like the style of clothes that I pick out, modest. little children's clothes, so when I send clothes home with her, I found out today, that she throws them away! :flame: She dresses the baby in too big pants that hang off his butt and the little girl, like a prostitot.

She said the children could come for every school break, Christmas and summer. I told her I was not interested in being a convenient day care. Our agreement was that she would use this time to get her GED, start college or career training, attend parenting classes, save money and get i a better position to care for her children.

I will pray for these babies, but I feel that at this point, I am enabling the mother. I told her that the only way I would take the children back is if she signed over custody. That way she couldn't just waltz her happy behind in and out of their lives as the wind blows.
 

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Oh Sandra -
I'm sure you are hurting, but I think you are doing the right thing.

I'm sorry you've had to go through all of this -
You've put yourself out there, wholly. You have been a blessing.

Those children will be in my prayers too -
 

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Oh dear.

I'm so sorry she put you and the babies through this. I hate to be negative, but it doesn't seem that they have a chance with this person. It's a shame their father couldn't do more.

You tried everything you could. At least you have that small comfort. I know it's not enough, though.

What a messed up world we live in. Lord help us. And Lord help those babies, too. :Bawling:
 

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A bunch more explitives deleted..... this is new to me.

Heck Sandra - maybe the neighbor's dog would like to chase her for a change?

When is she getting them?

Just feel like throwing something, or making ruffles (de stresses me).

Ratz..... keep telling Lady J things to take care of herself. That may make a huge difference in her life here shortly.

Angie
 

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call dhs and get yourself listed as someone who will take the babies if they ever end up being taken from her. they usually try to place them with family members before putting them in foster care.

sorry this is happening.
 

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The only good thing about this is that the kids got exposed to a real home and how things should be. Make them aware that their teacher is a person whom they can talk to if things get too rough.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I taught her how to make oatmeal in the microwave, and boxed mac and cheese. I won't eat that junk, but her mother buys it. Mr. J is doing well with potty training. I asked Ms. J to make sure to brush little brother's teeth in the morning and at night. She seen "No, No athe Seal", a movie that discusses good touch and bad touch. I told her never open the door for someone if mommy isn't home. And I am puting my phone number in at least 20 different places. I told her call if they are ever home alone. We talked about fire safety and how to get uot of a burning house. We practiced dailing 911 on an unplugged phone. I'll send food home with them; things that will not spoil.

My nephew says his attorney has everything, but a court date. They are still waiting to get on the calendar. All else I can do is pray. :Bawling: :shrug:
 

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ok heres what i think you should do, just my 2 cents, I think you should get childrens services involved, just for the well being of the kids. Let them know you have been there and what all youve done for the children and what the deal was with the mother. Let them know about the doctors visits. Also tell them youre not trying to permanently take the kids away from their mom. Ask them to check up on her to make sure the kids are being taken care of, if shes not they will step in and if nothing else give you temporary custody until the mom gets her GED, gets a decent job, and gets in a better situation to raise them, AND>>> they will also make sure the dad gets insurance on them and does his part in seeing to their needs. When you handed those babies back to her knowing what shes not capable of now, you are taking a risk of the kids not being taken care of properly. You gave them love, attention, fed, clothed, and took them for their medical needs. You are the best place for them NOW. Maybe the mom will get her act together if childrens services is involved. Those kids cant be juggled back and forth they need stability and you provided that, until now. Im praying for you, the kids, their mom, and the dad, that everyone will work together and support each other in raising the kids . God Bless
 

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I feel your frustration! Don't waste all that time you spent getting the kids on the health insurance by returning their cards. Keep the cards, pass them along with the children, and stay firm in your conviction to draw a line in the sand with their mother.
 

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I've been following this story right along, and I'm really sorry to hear they're going back to their mother. I think you're doing the right thing, though, and I agree with Moopups- you've exposed them to a real home and normal family life, and even with this setback, that's a huge, huge thing. I'm sorry that the mother can't seem to get a grip on herself and realize that the best thing she can do for those kids is get her act together, get her GED, and get a decent job.

You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things work out for the best in the end- at least you know that you've done all you can.
 

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I too suggest you retain the cards, just don;t get yourself into legal trouble over something like the address change or whatever. Its displays to the child services your responsibility level. And the cards may be needed in an emergency.
 

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Oh my... poor little ones. I hope they stay safe and either their "mother" does a total 180, dad steps up and takes wonderful care of them, or you get them back. I'm just speechless.
 

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A wild thought: Can you fight her for custody?
 
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I keep telling myself not to read any more of these threads and I am compelled to do so anyway in spite of myself. They are excruciating.

Sancraft, I feel so bad for you and worse still for those children. I am wishing and hoping for the best for all of you.

.....Alan.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I can't pass the cards along with the children. They live in a different county and I would get in trouble for fraud. I have to cancel the insurance and the food stamp card.
 

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Repeat after me: not all women should have children. I am ferverently hoping this woman has a 5 year norplant in her arm and faithfully has it removed and replaced. I echo making sure EVERYONE knows you will provide these children a stable, loving home in a NY minute if child services removes them. Nag your nephew and do keep in touch with the lawyer. And please find a spy or two to keep an eye out. Drop the anvil on the <expletive> if she messes up.
 
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