Sharing The Good Life

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by GOODLIFE FARMER, Feb 20, 2004.

  1. Some Of Us May Never Be Able To Buy Property,period. Some Of Us Have Property We Can't Begin To Work. I Am Not One Of Those People. My Land Is Modest,but I Do Know This, I Owned This Land When I Lived In A Very Suburban Place. During That Time All I Thought About Was The Land. I Wish I Had Someone That Had Come Forward To Ask About Sharing The Use Of The Property. I Know That I Would Have Been Very Interested.i Don't Mean Someone That Wanted To Rent The Property. Or To Be My Live- In Help.but Rather Someone That Would Build A Cabin, Grow A Garden, Raise An Animal Or 2 Or 3 Whatever. I Know That This Would Take A Long Term Agreement Of Some Sort But I Feel Well Worth It If The People Are Honest And Hardworking. What Do You Think Is This Crazy? Ps My Kids Have At This Time Their Own Life And It Does'nt Include The Country.i Now Share This Land With A Lovely Lady And A Little Poodle.some Rabbits. Big Gardens And Big Plans.
     
  2. CrazyLady

    CrazyLady CrazyLady

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    Hey Farmer, It is interesting that you posted this, as today I had it in my mine to ask a question alot like yours, just hadn't sat down to do it..
    I was wondering if anyone had offered to share their land and it's rewards with another person??? And if they had, what were the results???
    Years ago, I thought about, advertising for a place with free rent, room for critters and a shared garden, for some older person on a low income.. My husband at that time said, NO way...
    Now, I have reached 50, the kids will soon leave home, and that thought has again crossed my mind... In the singles thread, many talk about being very set in their ways... Maybe a romance won't work, but how about just shared interests???? Would that work, has it worked???
    I too would like to hear more on this subject.... as I toss the thought around, about posting an ad.... Glad you have found the good life !!!!!!!!!!!! :)
     

  3. fordy

    fordy Well-Known Member

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    :) ................I think you'll have a great idea. But , if this is strictly "friendship" and the friend comes upon hard times either physically or financially, You are going to become responsible for their care and feeding. And what , if, they need a level of care that they can't afford ....and you can. Do you spend your children's inheritance taking care of your indigent "friend" ? Better to let them come and visit and return to their home than sharing a common dwelling......fordy... :eek:
     
  4. bearkiller

    bearkiller Well-Known Member

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    Well, this is an interesting topic.

    I'm no longer a kid and have grown aware that there are many things I can no longer do so some help at times would be nice...hell! better than nice.

    At the same time, I have been over the hard ground and learned how to do most homesteading things. I have seriously considered sharing my place with a young family in return for their labor. I would provide a mentorship in homesteading.

    Fordy, your response sounds awesomely cynical to me. But then your point is well taken as well. This seems to be an issue that must be dealt with up front. Likewise CrazyLady's hints about romance. Me I'm so old I could not care less about romance any more. Besides Mama would get her shorts in a twist if I did.

    Well, let me tell you all, that there are a very large number of very strange people out there and sorting out those that might contribute something good from all the nutcases is a daunting task. I'm old enough to have learned to work and work hard for what I want, but today's "kids" are the laziest bunch I've ever seen. I work still at building and I get "kids" come to me often for work. Most of them are so useless they are not worth the .22 to be rid of them. Others are so spaced out on drugs, sex, or whatever that they have no idea what they want let alone how to help themselves not to mention you.

    Then there are the "philosophical nutcases" who, if you do not do things their way, then you are just plain filthy vermin. Sorry folks, I grew up in the old fashioned America where we each are responsible for ourselves and we don't tread on others just because they are different than me.

    So while the concept of sharing seems quite appropriate given my age and level of comfort on the homestead, finding someone who could fit in with me and my requirements is difficult. So many are just plain lazy, others simply have no idea how to work, many do not want to work. I just loved getting letters from welfare bums in essence telling me how much they deserved my place.

    I would much appreciate others thoughts on this issue.

    bearkiller
     
  5. GrannieD

    GrannieD Well-Known Member

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    I feel like someone has been inside my head ...As I go about my work..play..I've thought what a shame I can't be sharing this with someone who could benifit from my experience & gain from the advantages of having a younger helper..Well rather than writing to this forum I dimissed it as wishful thinking...being fully aware of the pitfalls of hitching up with another person as friend in such an undertaking...I have run into the same problems stated in others letters..not the least being trusting someone's intentions tho the words are all in line..I may meet someone who fit enough to have a trial run, but the facts of life for many who want to come to the country do not involve more than having lots of animal friends..certainly not chopping the head off the chicken..Real country in my area is getting harder to find...& a country gentleman view of a pot-belly pig is not my view..I figure on sticking around awhile in my Ozark wonderland, alone is far better than with the wrong set up..but must admit I would like to entertain the idea that there is potential for an alliance of sorts..No fancyfull animal lovers or veggie fanatics, tho I talk to my ponies & goats & dogs & do like broccoli. Hey this is a very good thing to talk about...GrannieD
     
  6. bgak47

    bgak47 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Goodlife Farmer! I bought land at the urging of a friend 15yrs ago. It was a VERY good decision.Since then we have made a lot of deciesions together that have been good for both of us. I haven't been able to actually move onto the land yet, but I own it. There is a small cabin with elect,well & septic,& telephone. I've added a front porch & a deck, & my kids & grandkids have enjoyed it. :worship: :cool:
     
  7. iowahopefuls

    iowahopefuls Well-Known Member

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    I am not a religious person however I think sometimes God gives me hurdles to jump but also the super air jordans to jump them with. My point is my family,( 3 girls, 1boy, a hubby and some critters) want to move from California to the midwest however every time we think we get ahead we fall back. Same ole song and dance for tons of people I bet. I have been considering this same topic, however in reverse. We would look for someone to share with us. Maybe not the same house, (my kids are just naturally noisy, even when sleeping) but the same property. My hubby grew up on a farm when he was a kid, and he can do anything- welding, woodwork, heavy equipment oper, can fix about anything and is great with animals. I am a pretty face, lol,no really,I can cook,clean,organize, not as talented as my hubby but I try. I don't know how I would look for these people, (we thought about countryside mag.) What I am saying is if you read this post and you are looking for hard working people to share with, consider us.
    Thanks,
    Danielle
     
  8. You make good sense in your post about someone sharing property.

    I have thought about it also. My hubby and I have always done ever thing with the exception of daughter and son-in-law helping occasionally.

    We are not getting any younger and both are starting to have health problems.

    We have 3 rental properties with a total of 23 acres to care for and a farm with 120 to care for. Hubby still has a full time job. I get to thinking it would be nice to have someone in one of the rental properties that would get free rent for help when we need it around one of the places.

    This winter my hubby got pneumonia and was not able to get wood. We have an outside Hardy furnace and my son-in-law had to get us some wood for a couple weeks. Of course, he was glad to do it but that takes time away from his family and makes me feel bad. So helping get wood cut and in to the house place could be a thing that a sharer could help do. Also when the weather gets bad, hay has to be put out. If the roads get bad, hubby has to work overtime and sometimes does not get in until very late. I am not allowed around the tractors or heavy equip. A cow may be calving and need put into the barn. More examples.

    There have been times that other peoples animals have gotten into our place. I could have used assistance then. One time our cattle got out because someone tore down a back gate. I had to call on neighbors to come help me as hubby was working 3 hrs away. I can see how giving someone a place to live and let them farm a few acres could be a real asset.

    Oh well, that's my 2 cents.
     
  9. bearkiller

    bearkiller Well-Known Member

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    More of interest here.

    I learned some years ago just how difficult it is to find people who are comfortable being alone with themselves. When I was early on in development work I hired various people to come work for me. In most cases once they got to the property and realized those terrible sounds of silence and the simple fact that there is nobody around to talk to and raise trouble, first thing in the morning they would be on the road and gone.

    People seem to be too uncomfortable in their own skin. Most have not had to live with themselves and learn how to get along. As has been said in the past people are just not comfortable with themselves in an empty room. They squirm and fuss and "get bored" as though "somebody" is responsible for amusing them. In my opinion all those city slickers stay in the city because they have no idea how to live with themselves.

    As for how to meet interested people, I did place an ad in Countryside and got a pretty fair response. But even more, the editor of Caretaker's Gazette contacted me and placed my ad in the Gazette for a couple of months. Even more response. Everything from people sending me their resume and expecting pay to take care of the farm in my absence all the way to welfare bums expecting a free handout. As I said, there are a lot of strange sorts out there.

    But with some due diligence and some travel to meet people prior to letting them near the homestead it is possible to find good people.

    bearkiller
     
  10. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    My MIL used to rent out half of her large house for a very small amount, weekly lawn mowing, and a set number of hours a week of work. She would point out a repair job, for example, and figure that that would cover the labor part of the monthly rent.

    She mostly rented to college students, who were generally broke enough to consider this to be a very good deal.
     
  11. A dream is close to being realized....

    We have just gone under contract for a large house with a 4 car garage and 45 acres in the mountains of Maine. We are purchasing the place with my parents as I am the youngest of 6 and left with the pleasure of caring for them as they age. I do mean pleasure. My parents are wonderful people and I really am excited about being so close to them, for my own sake and my childrens sake too. There are no jobs to speak of in the area other than minimum wage at Sugarloaf MTN so my family will need a yaer or two before the move is permanent. My parents enjoy a healthy $ retirement and me and the kids will summer there until a move is made. My investment $ is considerable and I will inherit all as stated in will. I'm sure my siblings will not be happy in the future but not of them have been as generous with my parents or saved enough money by living conscientiosly as we have. And they all make double what we make! My parents know that I do not EVER want to be without critters and they have enjoyed my animals on visits to our home. So though this may be a leap of faith, it is also a dream that we all share and we have but one life to live so go find that someone that shares those same dreams and together make it happen.

    Incidently we do live here in Maine so we didnt have to make our money in the big cities and we and my parents have never made more than $60,000 a year and remember they raised 6 kids. We were never indulged or given the chance to be lazy. We worked hard and grew what we could and even ate horsemeat when times were hard and fuel was expensive.
     
  12. CrazyLady

    CrazyLady CrazyLady

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    :rolleyes: I was thinking of responding to Fordy's post here, but see it has been edited.. This , I think can become a very interesting topic... Like any new adventure, it would have it's risks, it's pros and cons... But just like a marriage, I'm sure there would be percentages that fail terribly, and others that end up lasting for years.. Not all people click, whether, at a work place, relationship, marriage, or even as distance neighbors, it's only human nature.. :waa:
    This, also is a rather open ended subject; There are those, that are younger, and dream of a "homestead" type lifestyle, yet have no way to get there.. :no: There are those that are older and have learned SO MUCH, that they could share, and also could use, just alittle ,help now and then... Tho' some of us are stubborn enough to do alot on our own, as we age our bodies do not always agree, as it was posted elsewhere.. "Sometimes, it'd just be nice to have someone on the other end of the board.."
    Now, I do not know, if this person, or persons would have to be a friend, or relative, as it has been suggested, but a mutual interest in things would be a must... Some may want to share their home, or only provide an RV spot, or the extra rental house, or even have part-time hired help, or just the, exchanged hired help.. A share cropper deal, or a land lord deal, or maybe just two old fools, who get along...(let the neighbors talk) :D
    Tho' a small percent may chose to do in-care providing, I'm not sure that is what we are looking for, for that, we can get hired in town, doing that and get paid far more... (a neighbor does this, in town)
    I too, having lived way out, have found that not everone, does, like themselves, and as said, many can not handle the quiet, or the sounds and movements of the country...And they do go back to town... We know, it all sounds great in a book, but those pages, are not very heavy, or messy, or even that darn cold, or hot..(is a blank page lonely?)
    Yes, there are, alot of lazies, out there, and everywhere!!! They useto call them "bums". And, there are lots of shady folks, just looking for a hand out, or free deal... Thinking, "this will be a piece of cake", there's the wanna-bes, and book know-hows.. But there are, a few real folks too... :) And I'm sure "both" kinds visit this site.. We aren't all, so despert, or hunting for sex, money, or a free meal... We may have our "lonely days", and, " it would be nice, days"..... But alot, of us just might, want to share what we know, or think we know, :haha: Or share what we have... That doesn't mean we are giving away free hand-outs... or our childrens, inheritance... Heck, my kids will be lucky, to get anymore than I did, except maybe this land if we don't sell it... "Homesteader", or living in the country, does NOT, mean we all have a value in money, I'm sure many of us exsist, on less than, $12,000 a year.. Just as, many have worked darn hard, to have what they do, value, sometimes comes in sweat equity... and that doesn't always get counted.. But the old ways, die if no one listens...
    There!!!!, I'm sure could be major problems, to think of the, "What-ifs ??" . But then we are beginning to think of the "cover your Backside" happenings.. WE, may lose the "great moment" thoughts.... Myself ??? I'm still pondering on the thoughts, of "how" to share this place, and all it has. Including the rattlesnakes, wildfire threats, miles from nowhere hassels (including water), days you go nowhere, even if you want to, the better air, the wild critters, the open spaces, and a piece of good old harsh earth.. With that, until they leave home, also includes teens, and their hobbies.. (or noise, hey, that would cover the quiet fears :eek: and this ole Crazy Lady of sorts...
    But, I am still hoping someone who has done this sort of thing, will response with their tales.... great dreams to all.............
     
  13. fordy

    fordy Well-Known Member

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    .................I am Not as cold blooded as MY post may have sounded!! But, I'm not nieve either. An older person , needing friendship, help etc. would best be served by finding a responsible family and negotating a "helping hand relationship" that would be beneficial for both sides. For old folks needing help to Pursue "OTHER" old folks for either friendship or companionship (who also need help) is NOT VERY SMART in my opinion. I'm reminded of the saying my Grandmother like to use when she observed an OLD MAN with with avery Young female ..."there is NO fool like an OLD fool". Of course we live in a Politically Correct world today but I have NO intention of changing my established Lexicon to suit a world that doesn't agree with what I have to say. I've always had the Most success solving a problem when someone has Told me the Truth when I have asked them a question rather than trying to shade the Truth to make me happy. ..........fordy.... :eek: :)
     
  14. CrazyLady

    CrazyLady CrazyLady

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    Oh, Fordy, who said you were "cold blooded" ??? :waa: Not me, and I had no intent to say it...I had only planned to say, I had not "hinted" of romance, only to say that it is not always the hidden plan, and some folks just aren't looking for it.. I'm sorry, if my words get trans-intended, over space.. I must say tho' , you are rather confusing to me now.. tho' that could just be my "age", tho' I surely thought the other side of the hill, was suppose to be easier..
    You must surely know, not everyone has a family to turn too, nor does everyone want to... To many that's a way, of saying they have to give up, that they are, too old... And not everyone wants to reach that point and feel as a burden on their family... Years ago, my daughter, then 3, and I helped take care of a lady, who was 98, on her mtn ranch.. We all, got along well, yes I got a small wage, for the 24 hour care... But, that fall, when her daughter-in-law made her move into town, she did , as she said , she would, if she had to move in to town... She died... Yes, we all have our opinions, and that is why we are here. To share them.. But, some of us want to share life too... It's just working out the kinks, that may take time... Like, the age limit of a person to share or hire.. I now, live too far from town, for anyones major health problems, our ground is un-level, there are the snakes, (thinking of little kids) But accidents do happen everywhere... I didn't say this would be easy....
     
  15. fordy

    fordy Well-Known Member

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    ..............I wasn't replying too you in particular....CL. I guess I was just tooting my horn in general. I guess i should have rephrased my statement to say something like...Folks who Need help...shouldn't form a relationship with another individual who Also needs help". The context for trying to find a responsibile person\family is to accomplish (2) simultaneous objective(s) , both being beneficial in my opinion. That being...you as the Landlord can maintain your "way of Life" that you love so dearly and you can provide a Home for a Deserving family who may need the "Time" factor to build a nest egg so that they, Too, can "Homestead" . We , as fallable beings allow our Ego to get in the way of our Better Judgement . This is especially twrue( as Elmer says) as we get older. ....fordy..... :eek: :D :yeeha:
     
  16. CrazyLady

    CrazyLady CrazyLady

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    Hey Fordy, :) Don't ya, know we all have horns to toot, just some of us scare others when we do... But, do I have to have, better judgement? 'cuz if I do I better turn off this ole machine and go shovel some more snow, still can't get the ole truck up the driveway... hhmmmm? anyone got a snow plow to share??? :yeeha: Ok, I get the point... I am losing it, the, brain that is, I've run all these posts together... Sorry guys, (fordy did not mention romance, bearkiller did, and I just stuck my boot in it) To change the subject, GrannieD, can I use your head, and Danielle how's the book and weather???
    Boy, this ad figuring out thing won't be easy... But thank you, Goodlife Farmer, for reminding some of us, that life does NOT have to stay the same...

    Now where are the folks who tried to change it??????????????
     
  17. Mike in Ohio

    Mike in Ohio Well-Known Member

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    I think it's interesting how the discussion diverged from the original question asked by GOODLIFE FARMER. What was original asked about was essentially a gift with no thought of return other than helping someone.

    There are a handful of people (I have known a long time) I might make such an offer to (subject to DW agreeing of course). There would of course be conditions and limitations included in a written agreement regarding the use of the property. I would probably be more comfortable if there was at least some sort of token payment.

    Many of the other responses were focused on slightly different situations (younger couple assisting older, etc) and not quite a gift.

    A few years back DW and I were looking at a property near Glenville WV. There was an old gentleman with a life estate on a small home and 1 acre within the property. He had been a lifelong employee of the deceased owners family (the daughters that were selling were in their 70's and 80's).

    That was a significant point of discussion when we considered buying the property. We ultimately decided that it really wasn't an issue as he was 85 and had someone who came out and looked after him on a daily basis. (Not intending to be cold hearted but we recognized that it was not a long term situation.)



    Mike
     
  18. TXlightningbug

    TXlightningbug Well-Known Member

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    :) The original question is a smart question. Since society has changed so that families no longer live generation after generation in the same house and/or on the same farm through the centuries, we have to turn to people with the same interests to carry on as we age and need extra hands to do certain chores.
    I am looking at the possibility of calling on a young man I know who is mentally ill. Has a green thumb like nobody's business, but his sleeping pattern is such that it doesn't mesh well with the 8 to 5 work schedule in the city and he has panic attacks around people. We work well together. He can't come up with the money to buy a homestead for himself, yet I would be able to allow him to work on mine in exchange for keeping him off the welfare rolls. His mom is legally blind. She's a good cook and housekeeper and knows chickens. Giving her an apartment for herself so she doesn't have to put up with that DIL of hers would tickle her pink and she can repay me by fixing me dinner at night when I'm too tired to cook. When she gets too old to take care of herself, she's already picked out the place she wants to move into for old age care. She doesn't want to be waited on by me. That will all be in the contract written out so we have it spelled out as to what's expected of whom.
    To the family in California looking for such a situation, I heard something once that I took to heart. You should give it some serious thinking over too. "When you have lost everything, then you have nothing left to lose if you go for your dream." I lost everything. I'm about to get everything I ever dreamed about because I'm going for it.
    When your life gets trashed, make it compost! :yeeha: Judi
     
  19. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    TXlightningbug, I love your quote. I too have lost everything, but I am really happier now than I have been in a very long time. I don't know how things are going to work out for me, but I do know that they are going to work out for me. I too have had this same sort of arrangement floating around in my head lately. Now that I don't have a man to do certain jobs, I would love it if I could share my land (when I get it) with a man that knows this kind of life and has skills working with his hands and with and on machinery. I'm not looking for a mate, just a helper. He would have to provide his own housing unless he wants to live in the barn and I would have to get a background check. I have 2 teenaged daughters, so I don't want a pedophile on the property. But I think something like this could work out. Maybe even a young family with small kids would be great too.