I am late 50s, moving soon to settle down, home & a bit of land. Divorced years ago, nothing serious since, my child now an adult. I want to meet a partner for LTR, romance, sex, company. I am chubby (5'8, 190), not stereotypically feminine, nice, funny, smart enough, financially stable, hard worker and love a project! Like gardening, chicken, sheep, homemaking, walks, boating, social events, don't smoke or drink, religious & love my job. I even have a reference from my ex! (His joke). I think I am a good catch EXCEPT I expect to be rejected or not able to meet guys I would like for being overweight & plain-looking. Guys my age seem to want younger & thinner or am I just whining? Not even sure what I'm looking for from HT. Can I just ask for help, advice, support? TIA
Scared but Ready to Try
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To bad your not in Arizona, i have a vacancy lol, you sound perfect. I agree with roadless a great group of folks here, they been listening to me whine for a bit now 
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We don't call it whining around here, we call it venting, and everyone needs to vent once in a while!
You sound like a great person, now you just have to see that in yourself. Yeah guys can be pretty shallow at times (sorry to all the great HT guys, lol!), but some men actually do judge a woman by what she is inside and not how she looks outside. HT, and Singletree in particular, has some of the best guys I know.
Stick around for a while, post a lot and let people get to know the real you. You might be pleasantly surprised. We've had quite a few match-ups here on ST. Even if you don't find romance, you're sure to make some really good friends. Welcome aboard!
You sound like a great person, now you just have to see that in yourself. Yeah guys can be pretty shallow at times (sorry to all the great HT guys, lol!), but some men actually do judge a woman by what she is inside and not how she looks outside. HT, and Singletree in particular, has some of the best guys I know.
Stick around for a while, post a lot and let people get to know the real you. You might be pleasantly surprised. We've had quite a few match-ups here on ST. Even if you don't find romance, you're sure to make some really good friends. Welcome aboard!
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14,609 Posts
There are a few men who only want a skinny girl and won't budge, but they're the exception, not the rule, IMO. (Just like there are some women who only want to date tall men, etc. -- people can't help what they like, and there's no harm in it, AFAIC, but most people's tastes just aren't that specific, I don't think).
So, IMO, unless your weight is extremely outside the normal range (which it isn't), it probably isn't as important as how you feel about yourself. If you think you're attractive -- that you're a catch! -- it will be reflected in the way you carry yourself and interact with the world.
Maybe now would be a good time to treat yourself to a makeover -- a new hairstyle, spruce up your wardrobe -- whatever it takes to feel confident about your appearance.
So, IMO, unless your weight is extremely outside the normal range (which it isn't), it probably isn't as important as how you feel about yourself. If you think you're attractive -- that you're a catch! -- it will be reflected in the way you carry yourself and interact with the world.
Maybe now would be a good time to treat yourself to a makeover -- a new hairstyle, spruce up your wardrobe -- whatever it takes to feel confident about your appearance.
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7,215 Posts
Welcome and happy postings. As others above have noted, it's a good group of people who play nicely...well, most of the time anyway.
HomeAgain:
There are any number of us here who have "started over". Some divorced, some widowed.
Of course it's scary--we all have a lot of baggage by the time we start over, and that baggage follows us around.
Still, it can be done and many of us have done it.
Ox
There are any number of us here who have "started over". Some divorced, some widowed.
Of course it's scary--we all have a lot of baggage by the time we start over, and that baggage follows us around.
Still, it can be done and many of us have done it.
Ox
I split up some years ago from a long term marriage to
involuntarily become resingled. I just accept it for what it
is without any labels about myself making any difference
about who I am and sensibilities about myself.
One could hang a cyberspace shingle about their status of
looking for a mate and that's all good if you keep
wanting to play that game and do research , etc .
Basically all that is time consuming from what you might
Really want going on with you life.
C ' est la vie. Such is life. Opportunities to hitch up one
way or the other abound. Choices from a single persons
perspective are always going to be based on what they
desire in another person, whether admittedly or not .
involuntarily become resingled. I just accept it for what it
is without any labels about myself making any difference
about who I am and sensibilities about myself.
One could hang a cyberspace shingle about their status of
looking for a mate and that's all good if you keep
wanting to play that game and do research , etc .
Basically all that is time consuming from what you might
Really want going on with you life.
C ' est la vie. Such is life. Opportunities to hitch up one
way or the other abound. Choices from a single persons
perspective are always going to be based on what they
desire in another person, whether admittedly or not .
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410 Posts
Are you trying to seduce me? Hey I'm a married man. What kind of guy do you take me for?
Look you sound like quite a catch to me. You need a little more confidence but that can be remedied. Don't get hung up on your weight. From what you wrote it sounds to me that your numbers aren't bad at all. But hey I don't go after wormy girls who like to cake on make up so I'm a little biased. If you feel you're overweight either lose weight or embrace it. I vote embrace it. But only because I heart BBWs and am not afraid to say it. There are alot of guys who feel the same way. So please don't despair you just haven't found a guy that is worthy of being with a woman of your caliber yet. Ok now that is enough of me being serious I need to go see if there is someone I can ban.
No offense to any wormy girls who like to cake on make up just not my preference.
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Mossynut - If you are married, why are you on Singletree???
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25,214 Posts
Theres several people who are married in here. What about Ox? Big deal.
If this is for singles only, let me know and I wont be back. I did not think it was a dating thread. I visit here to participate in some fun threads, not looking to find a date or anything else
B
bostonlesley
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We married people have always been welcomed on ST...as long as we don't hide the fact that we are married... ST is not a dating site..although people have met and formed romantic relationships here...
ST is not a dating site..although people have met and formed romantic relationships here...Maybe now would be a good time to treat yourself to a makeover -- a new hairstyle, spruce up your wardrobe -- whatever it takes to feel confident about your appearance.
I knew a lady in school years ago. She started out looking pretty house-wifey/slightly frumpy. She made a few changes in her clothes choices and turned into a "wow!" type of woman. Not cheap looking by any means, she had good taste in clothes.
Thank you all for the encouragement and advice. I agree that "self-confidence" is the key. This feedback has helped and some updates to my "look" would boost me as well. Even just writing this post helped because it was more nuanced than the "oh, just give up" that I sometimes think to myself. I'm on my way!
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25,214 Posts
Oh just give up, I did, lol
I see nothing wrong with married folks coming in here. Never thought of ST as a dating site anyway.
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