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A friend just took in an "emergency" exchange student. His host family didn't want him any more be cause he "ate too much" ! They refused him food except once a day on weeks. During the week he could eat at school free breakfast and lunch! This young man is 15, he is from Ukraine, has no one here and you promised to take him in and you can't feed him.. WTH?? Did they not know how much teenage boys eat? He is wayyy too thin now..lost 14lbs. I feel like taking him in and fattening him up.

I asked if he missed his parents and he said not at all! This is a very sad sad thing to me!
 

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I would be careful of who the coordinator is that you'd have to work with. they obviously did a poor job of clearing up what all the expectations would be and what would be appropriate or not.

if the kid is hungry, he needs food, period. he's here at the mercy of others to see that his needs are met while he is a guest.

stay alert of having to deal with the coordinator though. it's possible that the family was misled into thinking that all they had to do was give the kid a shower bed and supper, because the school would be overseeing all his breakfast, lunch, schoolwork, afterschool activities, etc.

of course, I don't know the people or circumstances. just sharing my own thoughts cause I would be concerned about being clear with the school coordinator who I think dropped the ball somewhere.
 

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don't mean to place blame if the coordinator isn't the problem. the family sounds pretty rotten. might have only taken them in so their own child qualified to go somewhere else for a trip. but, I think the person in charge of the program still should be accountable for overseeing the kids well-being before the problem is so bad that the kid lost 14lbs.

I hope his experience here gets better. and, I hope the family gets an earful in real-life and are shamed when other people find out "he ate too much". lousy deal all the way around.
 

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What a nasty experience for that young man.

Almost every year there are several exchange students in our school and they are generally unique individuals, interesting and smart. However, one year a young man from France caused numerous problems and was moved from one home to another due to sexual issues. Turned out his parents were wealthy and sent him as an exchange student to get him out of the country to avoid legal issues regarding sexual misconduct. Obviously, there was a serious problem with the student exchange organization's screening process.

Usually, the families here that take foreign exchange students go way beyond what's required. Often, they buy prom dresses or rent tuxes and generally treat the kids as if they were their own. Many of the exchange students come from wealthy families and have their own spending money, but some don't. Quite often the exchange students will return for visits as adults.
 

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Please tell your friend Thank You ...

I hate to hear of any child being hungry ...

I know hunger is rampant all over the world but for a child to be sent here to our country as an exchange student and then to be treated like this young man has been makes me see red!!!

I am happy to hear that he will be fed and no longer hungry and now will hopefully be able to enjoy the rest of his stay and will be able to learn without the added worry and will now be able to remember this adventure with fondness ..

I do hope that the host family is reported and wont be allowed to have any more students .

But most of all I really hope word gets out on their treatment of this young man ..

Karma WILL come back to bite them I am sure !
 

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Is the first family really that poor that they can't afford the food to feed one extra person? That's pretty sad if that's the case.

Honestly, if someone were to move in with us, we wouldn't have a whole lot of frilly stuff. We wouldn't have much luxury. We wouldn't have a lot of high end electronics or toys. But we do EAT and we eat well, much of it home grown. We wouldn't have a lot of meat but we would have a little of good quality with a whole LOT of vegetables of many kinds. Not a lot of cookies, pies, cakes, chips, that kind of thing either. But we do sometimes make some goodies. :)

I feel for the kid. Nobody should be going hungry like that.
 

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My family always hosted exchange students and about 2 years ago my mother had to take in a 'emergency case' as well.
It was a longer story and more politically volatile than this one, so I won't share.

He was my favorite and I still chat with him often.
Great kid.
 

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My sister had one exchange student that was fantastic. The second one was a head case. They are not supposed to be on psych meds when they come but she lied on her paperwork, then during the orientation period out east, they told her to stop taking it. WTH? She lasted about 3 weeks with DS, moved to another school district and lasted about 2 weeks and was sent back. She seemed to be trying to escape problems at home with her parents, too. What a mess. SIL had a boy from Italy who was great until they told him he could not go to Las Vegas with a group of adults (he was 17). He pitched a fit and lied to the coordinator. It was a nightmare at the end and it was really too bad. The coordinator didn't really believe him but she had to do what she had to do...
 

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We have a very active exchange student program. Our kids made lifelong friends with a girl from Brazil. DH’s brother’s family has had six (I think), plus one that came from another family, similar situation. They come to the tiny town to visit. There were four last summer. I should mention that my nephew married the girl from Taiwan.
 
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We had a girl from Denmark when our girls were in high school, she has been back several times and two of our kids have been to see her. two of our kids had exchange students last year,a girl from Germany and a girl from Equator. Both will always be apart of our family.
 

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Discussion Starter #18
I will let you know , what happens.. Not sure he will get to stay, our school system is dragging their feet, saying all our schools are over loaded and his only other option will be the private school, which means more $$$ because they already have 9 exchange high schoolers and none have a full scholarship. And his parents aren't willing to spend any more $ and that means another school /games/schedule for my friend, she already has 4 others in different schools. Crowded schools have been an issue for years.. Everyone of them has the little pods dotting the landscape around them..
 

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Let's assume that the student's parents are responsible for his or her costs, and they didn't come through.

Obviously, the host family ought to have reserves to cover things, no matter what they've been promised, but maybe they didn't know.

As for school costs and fees, if the guardians are paying school taxes or fees, shouldn't the public school fees be covered?
 
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