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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
W/ a newborn in the house,& also a 12 & 4 year old ,romance is scarce at best. An hour or so sitting on the back porch the other night looking at the stars together seemed sooo long in coming. After being on bed rest for several months,and marital relations a no-no due to pregnancy complications, it's a little like courting all over again! I was curious what other couples do
(G-PG rated of course :p ) for romance at home. Going out isn't really an option,as baby was a preemie & needs us 24/7. I was thinking maybe a romantic picnic on the back deck once the chickens & kids go to roost at night ... I know Bar-B-Q in the moonlight is DH's idea of romance!
 

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Holding hands.

Giving one another a hug.

Doing sweet unexpected things for one another (I used to write little love notes to hubby in lipstick on the bathroom mirror and sometimes I slip little handmade cards in his lunchbox).

Stepping outside to admire the stars and moon with our arms around one another.

Romance is a state of mind. It isn't about spending money. A moonlit picnic sounds pretty romantic to me!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Boy I REALLY need to invest in some citronella candles,don't I ?? We do have a porch glider, DH brought it up so we could sit under the porch easement when it was raining. The other night we had some country music on in the house, which the baby seems to love,and took the baby monitor outside,could hear the music crystal clear! Sounds silly, but somehow the soft music along w/ the baby's quiet sleep sounds were really wonderful for us!
 

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NEVER take your "significant other" for granted! I appreciate every thing my beautiful blushing bride of almost 18 years does! Holding hands, warm hugs, moonlit walks, giving her neck/back/foot rubs and listening when she has something to say - I am one very lucky man to have found such a wonderful person as my wife....
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
oldgaredneck said:
NEVER take your "significant other" for granted! I appreciate every thing my beautiful blushing bride of almost 18 years does! Holding hands, warm hugs, moonlit walks, giving her neck/back/foot rubs and listening when she has something to say - I am one very lucky man to have found such a wonderful person as my wife....
That's so sweet, sounds like she is lucky to have you,as well!
 

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Well, I have four youngish children, and it seems like sometimes the most romance that happens here always involves one of the kids running out of the kitchen screaming "Ewww, mom and dad are kissing!" lol. They think it's horribly disgusting :dance:

But, especially with a newborn in the house, you might only get a minute alone before you are needed, so take advantage of them all.
 

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I remember those days! The most romantic thing my DH did was in the middle of the night he would go and get the baby, change him, bring him to me to nurse and say wake me when he's done. Then he would return the baby to his bed and come back put his arms around me and back to sleep we went. This didn't happen every night...in fact his waking in the night to the babies cries weren't normal....maybe that's why it meant so much when he did it.

Married 14 yrs today!
 

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Sounds like you're doing what you can... take advantage of those moments! with 8 in our house, they are rare moments sometimes.

Last night we thought we were all clear... locked the door and made googly eyes at each other and about that time the four yr old comes to the door.... "I need to go potty" (umm thanks for the update? just GO already) so he went to the bathroom and then we hear "mama...there's a mouse in the bathroom.... a little tiny one... can we keep it" (groan, unlock door, go to check..sure enough, tiny little mouse) four year old continues "hes so cute and little and we can make him a pet and.... on and on and on..." such a run on sentence like you've never heard!

well, by the time I got him to bed and made it back to mine, the mood was so totally lost (sigh) so I just curled up next to dh and said "I love you" and fell asleep. but with a smile...I sure enjoy these little things about our little boys...and they are growing too fast, so I've got to enjoy them now, while they are happening.

sneak out to the glider every chance you get :) and take the monitor with you!
 

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I totally understand - two boys ages almost-5 and 6, three cats, and my DH is a net admin who can many days be at work till midnight or later depending on which server broke. Weekends are spent with him and the boys, doing 'boy stuff'. I understand and don't interfere since I know the boys need him. We sometimes do something as a family on weekends as well.

Romance? In the traditional sense there isn't any. No moonlit walks, no dinners out, no movie theater, no real 'dates'. What romance there is tends to be rushed since we know how little time we have together. DH needs to leave for work at 7, and lately (big probs at work) isn't home till after I'm asleep (midnight or later...).

So we talk through IM. I call him once or twice every day to check up on him, let him know I care about him and his day. I call at 4:30 to see how late he'll be so I can plan dinner. I make him an egg sandwich every morning so he has something to eat on the drive to work, and try to make his lunch. I try to have his laundry put away so his mornign is easier. I try to have the house tidied so he doesn't come home to chaos.

I guess it boils down to doing little things to connect, and communicate that you're thinking of them and love them, and on those days (or weeks) when everything gets super-hectic, doing little things to try to make their life a little easier, or a little better.

And email can be a beautiful thing. Lots can be said, e-cards can be sent...but be careful what you say - I know from my DH that the net-admins DO read your email!! :)
 

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I SOOO know how you feel. My DW and I get very little time together. Our normal "romance" is after the kids are finally settled for the night. We're normally both exhausted so we lie in bed, cuddled up, with her head on my shoulder or chest just enjoying having each other. Dates, etc are pretty much unheard of. Then again, with her still recovering from her surgery, I probably won't get to enjoy going to bed like that again for weeks.

Brandon
 

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darbyfamily said:
Last night we thought we were all clear... locked the door and made googly eyes at each other and about that time the four yr old comes to the door.... "I need to go potty" (umm thanks for the update? just GO already) so he went to the bathroom and then we hear "mama...there's a mouse in the bathroom.... a little tiny one... can we keep it" (groan, unlock door, go to check..sure enough, tiny little mouse) four year old continues "hes so cute and little and we can make him a pet and.... on and on and on..." such a run on sentence like you've never heard!
We have the same stories at our house with our 4 & 5 year old :rolleyes: It's a good thing they are cute! :)
 

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I have weeks where DH isn't home till late every single day, then he comes home for weekends. He and I will be standing in the kitchen having *GASP* a CONVERSATION!!! And I'll be right in the middle of a sentence when the boys run up, grab his back pockets, and DRAG him from the room to play. I just stand there shaking my head...my boys need their daddy just as much as I do.
 

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Romance can be planned and its ok to say that you need it. It doesn't have to be a full blown date but a slow dance to some quiet music, a late night desert in some soft light or just time to hold hands and snuggle. For something different try writing him a special note and sticking it in his lunch, in his pocket or somewhere he will find it durring then day. Be descriptive in your note. While he's gone make up the bed, put some candles and rose petals on a tray (ready to move into what ever room you end up in) and greet him with a kiss and a smile when he gets home.
 

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We have our RV parked in our backyard - we had a special dinner in there one night, complete with candles and baby monitor. :D We also just take a minute sometimes and go on the back deck together to watch the stars and enjoy the cooler evening breeze.

Ohio dreamer said:
I remember those days! The most romantic thing my DH did was in the middle of the night he would go and get the baby, change him, bring him to me to nurse and say wake me when he's done. Then he would return the baby to his bed and come back put his arms around me and back to sleep we went. This didn't happen every night...in fact his waking in the night to the babies cries weren't normal....maybe that's why it meant so much when he did it.

Married 14 yrs today!
Jen, my hubby did the same for me.. and there's just something special about that, isn't there? It doesn't sound awfully romantic, but one of the sweetest memories I have is of the first night home with our first baby... and hubby bringing her to me in the middle of the night, we had a night light on so there was a very soft glow... there was just something magical about it.

Happy anniversary!! :bouncy:
 

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Some friends of mine send all 4 of their kids to spend 2 weeks with other friends every summer. The kids have a ball on the farm and the parents get 2 whole weeks to themselves. Maybe you could send all but the baby to visit someone for a while?
 
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