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Roles reversed....

1219 Views 12 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  deberosa
It has always been me pushing to get the HE11 out of here and head to the country but since our latest break-in on Friday my WIFE is pushing to do a little work on the house,sell it and get out.

Funny thing is I am now the one trying to slow things down a little. :confused: .

I think we need to not rush into selling as right now in our present situation we are making enough money to be able to pay for BOTH this house and a nice little farm somewhere.

I do feel helpless in the sense I KNOW there is little I can do to reassure my wife-she is afraid to be home by herself(I understand this completely,it was a violation of OUR personal space) and the dog we have is not much help(she was INSIDE the house when it was robbed :rolleyes: )

Not really looking for a solution but it is a quandary.

I DO feel if we just found a place in the country it would help a lot as it would be a big step towards our dreams.

We are both VERY disillusioned with this area.
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Sorry to hear about your trouble.

My wife and I had a simular situation but the neighbors car was torched instead of breakins but we saw the writing on the wall and started to look for a place away from the city.

Maybe to buy yourselves some time you could install some security lighting and get a bigger and meaner dog. My brother has a system that he can hear if some one is walking near his house outside.

As I said it might buy some time so you can sell at your terms instead of FAST

Good luck, our move has been perfect so far and we are fear free at the moment and loving it. Thank God.
Got bad news for you! Houses get burglerized out here in the country also. Either a bad neighbor or someone that lives close around can start pattering your time away from home and then make the move. One thing I have noticed out here in the country is that a lot of the time when your house gets burglerized it maybe someone you know. So pick your friends wisely. Not at the local tavern.
Adter our house was my burglarized my husband finally understood it was NOT the Florida he had grown up in and started to do the things a brought -up-in-city girl considered second nature, like locking the doors! We replaced the falling apart wooden doors that had not withstood a chisel with steel doors and he finally listened to me about cutting back the (ornamental) bushes where burglars could hide while accessing the windows- now we have a nice row of pineapples and some thorny bushes there - you have a risk whereever you go- she may just feel betrayed because she thought she lived in a "safe" neighborhood. I live in a rapidly deteriorating neighborhood but am perfectly satisfied with our precautions (including the machete in my closet) and my neice in the snobby gated commun ity is always panicking about their safety!
r.h. I know what your talking about people patering you.Our Son knew I would not miss Church for nothing,so thats when he decided to steal my stuff.

I still don't lock up my Trucks or House,they tear up more trying to get in if its locked.

big rockpile
If you have to stay where you are, there are a bunch of things that you can do to make yourself less likely to be a victim. A bigger meaner dog is an excellent idea. 2 would be better. Also if you are willing to do it, you can buy a gun and teach her to use it. Get something that is effective but simple and not too intimidating. If you are not "into" guns there are other options that are also available. Look into these things too. But moving someplace safer is also a great idea too. It's pretty peaceful here in the Ozarks. Beautiful scenery and really nice people, C'mon down, my wife will fry ya some chicken and I'll buy ya a beer.
Big Rockpile, that is how we have treated our ranch house, which has no permanent residents and usually might be driven by twice a week. Leave the doors unlocked - no more kicked in door jamb trim / door hardware to be replaced. Our break ins are done by illegal aliens traveling up, looking for work. They are searching for valuables - they are looking for food / water / matches, simples needs. They don't trash the place at all, but have left the refrigerator door ajar and the exterior doors open.

Patterning your habits will occur - nearly everyone knows which cars belong where. When you move to country, maintain good relations with neighbors if possible - they will watch your place if you do the same for them.
I kind of laughed when I read about patterning behavior. I think that I know everyones truck out here by sound and sight! I know when Neighbor Bonnie drives by at 4:30 to go do the milking at a big cow farm. I know when Neighbor Bob leaves for work. When Neighbor Mark drives by, I know it's him. I bet nearly everyone in a four mile radius knows when Roger is home or not, depending on where the car is.
We've had a few incidents of someone driving around, looking for a house to rob. They can find unlocked door almost at every house! But, things are changing even here near West Bloomfield, so when we build I'm going to take a few extra precautions.
Oz, I don't blame your wife for being afraid either. Get the lady out of there!
Hey Oz,
Sound to me like its "time to put or shut up". If you have been pushing this long to move out to the country and the DW is ready now, "Just Do It". Any big change can bring on second thoughts but I bet you will be much happier out there doing it than sitting around planning for it
Please don't take this to be offensive I only wish to encourage you to follow your dreams.
Good luck,
No offense taken :)

It isn't that I want to stay here(I HATE it here),it is that as of a few months ago we are in a position financially speaking to where we could comfortably pay $1500/month towards a property.

Doing that for 2 years gets us $36000 paid down on the land.

But our well being(both physical and mental) is more important than that.

We are going to take a week off the first of the year and go look at a farm up in TN.Looks promising,23 acres farmhouse in need of interior work,pond and owner financing.All for $69900.

Maybe it will work out for us.
Oz- I bought this place on owner financing. We set it up on a 5 year land contract, with the stipulation that if I defaulted, it would all go back to her. It worked good, as I only had 3000 down at the time. At the end of the 5 years, it had enough equity built up that I could do more traditional financing, and the place stood as it's own down payment. PS- I am selling now, 10 years later for twice what I paid originally.
My wife put it plainly last night-she just doesn't feel safe here anymore.

And that is something that is very difficult to restore....
I had just spent two years setting up a 1/2 acre private home in a gated community to grow my garden and do my crafts. Just as I was all set up (shop built, garden put in, etc.) the governing board started making all kinds of new rules and covenants. They let the spikes at the gate break down and ruin my tires.

On July 10 of this year I decided that I didn't need someone ruling my life like that - it's almost as bad as thieves but not quite. By July 20 the for sale sign went up and I found my dream property (through the internet). By August 1 I had a buyer and by Sept 10 I was moved into my 4.5 acre farm. I couldn't be happier. It was something I had even given up on attaining.

The only regret I have is that I did not do this two years ago! It was painful at first to leave the "known", but I have to recommend taking that leap and doing it right away!

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