[Jena]

i did the dumbest thing yesterday and it hurts and i cant sleep because i keep re-playing it over and over so i hope if i post this i can get my mind to settle down.

i have feed conveyor. part of it quit working. the bottom pulley was spinng, but the belt was just sliding over the top one. i gave the belt a tug...the belt took off and pulled my hand right through the pulley. i looked at my hand and saw it was mangled. i have low blood pressure and i know i shock out easily, dso i didn't look again. i started to call my husband, then thought i would just drive to the hospital, since i was still screaming, i changed my mind and called him. he said he was on his way.

i thought i ought to get to the house. i don't live there but i thought the tenant might help, i couldn't turn my truck on so i walked up the lane. i felt the end of my finger fall off during the walk, but i didnt look because i was afraid and alone.

i got to the house and no one was home. i sat on his porch chair to wait for my husband. a few minutes later a friend of my tenant, who happrens to bea cop showed up. i've never been so happy to see any one in my life. he wrapped my hand up and made sure dh was on his way. he had called 911 though at the time i thought that wasnt necessary.

they all showed up and put me the ambulkance. my blood pressure was 80/40 and they didn't like that. they put 2 iv's in and took me to the hospital. my bp went right back up, but they said it was good that they were called.

i had to get transferred to terre haute and they did surgery to fix what they could. no one could find the end of my finger and i think either the pigs or the chickens ate it.

this hurts really bad,even with lots of vicodin and i'm tired but cant stop crying and cant sleep. all i can think is how stupid i was to do this. it was just dumb not thinking and now i hurt and my hand is screwed up and i want my finger back! stupid stupid stupid.

i knowq i'm lucky and it could have been much worse. i know i was stupid but i just want to quit seeing my hand go through that pulley in my mind. i hope this helps me sleep.

thanks for listening and be careful.

jena

 

[ckncrazy]

Im so sorry about your hand,and I feel you pain. I hope you get back to your old self soon. People make mistakes, That is part of life. I would just get yourself healthy again and try not to fret over it. There is nothing you can do about it now so try to relax and get some rest. The more you worry the longer healing takes. I wish there was something I could do for you.

Get better soon

JAKE

 

[Ross]

I am sorry to hear this Jena, and I hope your hand stops hurting and heals soon! Accidents happen, and it's so easy to do on a farm. Like me you've probably cut a few corners to speed things up, that hardly makes you stupid. That it happened to you proves it can happen to anyone. Thank you for the post, they do help remind us to be careful.

 

[TXlightningbug]

i did the dumbest thing yesterday and it hurts and i cant sleep because i keep re-playing it over and over so i hope if i post this i can get my mind to settle down.

thanks for listening and be careful.

jena

Jena, I'm so sorry to hear about your accident, but I'm glad that you are reaching out to tell others about it. That's one way to get it to quit playing in your head. Believe me, you are not the first nor will you be the last to have an accident because of not thinking first. Your cautionary tale may save someone else from such a horrible accident. Thank you for sharing it.

I lost half of one of my fingers when I was a teenager. I know how you feel about wanting it back. You will adapt. It just takes time. Please, contact me if you need to vent some more. Meanwhile I suggest that you pray, cry and pamper yourself as much as possible. May I offer a verbal hug and a prayer for you? Consider it done.

Sincerely, TXjudi

 

[margo]

Oh, Jena, how awful for you. Thankfully you weren't injured worse. It does sound bad and very painful. You know, all of us have done things with power equipment, at home and at work, that we shouldn't and sometimes we know we shouldn't. Let yourself off the hook, honey, and concentrate on healing. Also, the pain medicine may be affecting your thinking right now, so the sooner your'e off it, the better. Know that we are thinking of you, and taking a lesson from your malady. Thanks for posting and giving others a wake-up. Let us know your progress. Heal well and fast...................Margo

 

[heelpin]

Jena, we've all made stupid mistakes, sometimes we get away with it and sometimes we don't. I mangled my hand years ago when a large firecracker went off prematurely in my hand. I also came close to being pulled into the PTO on the tractor when my shirt-tail got caught, the shirt tore or I would have and I turned an 8N tractor over backwards (don't ask me how I got off, don't know). I am really safety consious now, experience is a great teacher.

 

[fordy]

...............Praying for your fast recovery Jena. The pain will subside but you have to concentrate on your projects that need your mental acuity to succeed. Reliving the events is like having a case of Hiccups, you just have to focus and break the mental cycle and get your thoughts moving forward in a LINEAR fashion.......fordy...

 

[Amy Jo]

Oh Jena! I'm so sorry to hear of your accident. And I'm just like you... I go over and over and over things I've done that I feel I knew better than to do and can't believe I did that... until I wear myself out. Usually, I have to think of the worst possible scenario... like... I could have run my wrist through there and had nothing to talk about here or beat myself up over ever again... Then I get thankful that I escaped that and move on a little...

Every day is one day closer to your hand being healed... Be careful, don't rush it, listen to the doctor's advice on what you should and shouldn't do until you recover (or you'll have another thing to beat yourself up over )

And forgive yourself... and know you have the well wishes and prayers of many of your HT acquaintances. You poor little sweetie!

 

[GeorgeK]

That's why they are called accidents, and not plans. Good luck. You should see a hand specialist. They might be a plastic surgeon, general surgeon or orthopedic surgeon. It is a fellowship additional training after the first residency.Terre Haute is probably big enough to have one. The hand has many compartments inwhich you can get an infection, and then the pressure builds up inside the compartment and then compresses the artery, cuts off the blood supply, then the nerve dies, and you can end up with a hand like Bob Dole. It doesn't happen a lot, but needs to be watched for. If the injury is limited to the figers, it is a lot less likely.

 

[Michael W. Smith]

I try to live by the motto that "everything happens for a reason". While something like this accident doesn't make any sense to you now (and maybe it won't ever), there is a reason for it in the grand scheme of life. It is done and over with, you can't change the past, so don't dwell on it. You can only change the present & future by not being more careful. Life is a learning experience.

Thankfully you weren't hurt worse. Be glad things weren't worse, and take care to heal. Prayers are heading your way.

 

[agmantoo]

Jena, I know you are a person that can handle adversity and that you will come through this just fine. It may be hard to believe when it hurts like blazes and each time your heart beats there is the reminding pain that surges through the hand and fingers. Just keep the hand elevated and try to get your spirts up there also. We humans are most adaptable and can adjust. This is being typed by a person with five fingers on one hand and two useable on the other. When my acccident happened, I too got depressed but now as I recall what took place it is just an annoyance that I have come to live with. Many have had accidents that they were not able to recover from; fortunately for us, ours are surmountable and we just have lasting reminders of how lucky were are. Get well soon, there is work to do!

 

[Guest]

Jenna,

Your in our thoughts and prayers honey. That must have been awfull. And all alone too! I'm glad the cop showed up.

So, what did they say after surgery? When do you go back? Are they going to set you up with physical therapy?

The above poster isn't trying to frighten you but he's right you need to see a hand specialist.

Any chance Hubby could go get you a little kitten from the pound? "Saving" some helpless little creature might help to push out all that mental anguish and replace it with the warm fuzzy feelings that will help you to heal more quickly.

Let us know your progress,

Pigeon Lady

 

[barbarake]

I'm so sorry to hear of your accident. And I know exactly what you mean by running it over-and-over through your mind - I would do the same thing.

I can't add any advice other than what's already given but I hope you heal quickly and feel better soon.

 

[bgak47]

jenna... thank goodness that your injuries were not worse. They could have been! You need to heal up, & go on. I hope that your expierence helps others to recognise the dangers of power tools & MACHINERY! TAKE Care & heal up!

 

[Carol K]

Jena,
firstly, I'm so glad you are ok, it could have been much worse, I know you know that also. I've read many of your replies on the cattle forum and think of you as one smart helpful lady. I'm thinking the reason you can't get this out of your head is that you have that feeling of "I know better than to have done that", we all lose concentration at times, it was a bad accident that you feel you could have prevented, (well that's my Dr Phil take on it anyway LOL).
I hope you heal fast, and that you are not to hard on yourself, it gives us all a wake up call when things like this happen, farming and animals can be so very dangerous.

Carol K

 

[farmmaid]

Jena...Thank you for posting. Hubby and I have been going 24/7 this spring. I have a feeling in my heart that your post was a awake-up call for us. Bless you and be good to yourself, Thank You...Joan

 

[timberweed]

Hi Jena,

This is my first post here, but I've read this forum daily for a long time and your posts are always so helpful - so thanks for that. I'm so sorry about your accident... I'm sure its rough on a lot of different levels.

My "real" job (aside from the farm) is working with trauma survivors. Replaying the incident over and over is a way that some of us (especially women) come to terms with a traumatic event. I think its nature's way of teaching us. Needless to say you'll never make the same mistake again, and your accident is something we all learn from.

I think it could have happened to any of us, especially at this time of year when its so busy and we're apt to be somewhat sleep deprived. Me: I'm hobbling around with five broken bones in my foot because I was in a hurry to move my steers a couple of weeks ago wearing garden clogs... In the future I will always take the time to put on my steel-toes (when they will fit on my foot again).

I hope you will continue to process the event here or elsewhere when you feel down in the dumps. I wish I lived close to you so I could help out...

Take care,
Cyndy

 

[pumpkinlady]

Jena, I am sorry to hear about your accident and I wish you a speedy recovery. I,too, have followed your posts and have found you to be full of knowledge, wisdom and strength. I have admired how you work so hard farming with such determination and will. I often thought of how I wished I had just a little of your drive.

Rest, rest, and rest some more. Healing takes time, but with your stamina I am sure you will overcome this.

Wish I was closer to help you out in your time of need...Laurie

 

[BCR]

I am so sorry. Be good to yourself. This is about forgiving yourself now. Tell yourself you will replay the scene once more for the next 5 minutes and then try to move onto something else. It often helps to talk to someone about it over and over until you can work it out of your system. Let yourself grieve.

Is anything distracting for you? Old sitcom reruns, movies, books, radio? Read something that will remind you of all you have and let you forgive yourself.

Try Elizabeth Berg's novels or even Rosamund Pilcher. They are also available on cassette. Anything not having to do with homesteading to give yourself a break. Sleep when you can, even if it is during the day. Let yourself be cared for, you deserve it. Remember to eat.

Sending you some healing thoughts.....

 

[Guest]

jena,

I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. it sounds like to me your reaction is perfectly normal ! I mean, you just lost a body part, and a darned useful one at that.

Best wishes and hoping it heals quickly,

Mel-