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Mother,Artist, Author
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I don't know if its me, or what.

I don't know if anyone remembers my thread I posted about a "friend" who is in our parent group. Started an online boutique, and was going to include me with my handbags, but didn't.

I've noticed something about her. Two weeks ago, after bragging about "having" a shop in London, she started telling everyone how she put her dog in obedience school. And followed it with, "you won't believe how much money this is going to cost me! Way too much!!"

Several months ago, her son had a birthday party and we were invited. It was at a Jump Zone. Don't know if anyone here has one near them, but they have giant inflatables that kids even adults can climb on play on and slide. We were there for three hours, and she commented how it was costing her $200 an hour for this party.

When we get together for outings, she usually is insisting we go to her house. Which is a big house, expensive neighborhood, and usually her comments tend to involve mentioning "how much something cost her." Like the last time she had to comment about her expensive rockers being chewed by the dog. Which is why he's in obedience school apparently.

Like I said, I don't know if its me, or does she seem to be flaunting herself. Personally I kind of find it sickening. However, it explains alot about her character, and much of what she says now I fluff it off even what she says about her business is more of a front to get everyone to "look at me."

Sorry, needed to vent.
 

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USMC can't fix stupid(s)
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nod and smile.....
 

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I think that sometimes people feel that they are only worth what they can spend. If they couldn’t brag to everyone that they spend all this money on things they don’t need – then how would people know how awesome they are? :rolleyes: very :rolleyes:
 

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Be powerful. No other option exists.
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She shouldn't behave in a way that I think is inappropriate.

Is that true?
 

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newfieannie
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Of course she's flaunting what she's got. are you sure you don't have my sister down there.? I avoid her like the plague.in order not to flatten her!
although I am a bit worried (just a bit) at what i'm going to find in a little while when i move. those people are not going to know what struck them when they see me in their fancy neighborhood. Rubber boots. patched shirt, old hat etc. etc.working in my garden at all hours. and flyin the Newfie flag. ...Georgia.
 

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Very Dairy
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Kat,

This personally obviously is toxic for you. Avoid her ... you will be happier as a result.

My $.02. :)
 

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is her last name "Jones"? or does she live near the "Jones's"??

my sister isnt quite like that....but she is a "keeping with the Jones's" type.....like I got a new to me vehicle....she said "Do you know how much money you are going to lose as that thing depreciates!?"

Sistold her DD that she couldnt afford to buy her DD and SIL a new washer/dryer set.....so what does my good ol' sis do???? she buys herself a new set...decided she didnt like it....took it back/exchanged them....got a different new set....gave the 10+yr old set to the DD and SIL....the DD has been married for a year and her hubby just got out of the marines--so they are no longer in base housing

It seems as if my sis cant have anyone in the family having anything nicer....our mom needs a TV....sis buys herself a new one and gives mom the castoff.....mom's camera broke and she cant afford to replace it....sis buys herself a new one and gives mom the castoff....I can only imagine what she said when my DH and I recently got mom a new microwave....it just so happened that *I* was the one using her old one when it quit.....

for your 'friend' I might do the smile and nod thing....for awile but then I would move on to mentioning how much debt she must be in to pay for everything......

Rachel
 

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Discussion Starter #8
willow_girl said:
Kat,

This personally obviously is toxic for you. Avoid her ... you will be happier as a result.

My $.02. :)

I agree 100% Willow Girl. I am finding more and more that I am beginning to be annoyed by her. I hate to say "dislike" because overall she seems like a good person. But just likes to flaunt what she has. Her husband is just the opposite. He's very humble, easy going. He has a really good paying job, which is how they have everything. But he never peeps a word about money or what they have.

In reality, it has made me feel more thankful for the humble little double wide on the 1/2 acre, and the modest lifestyle we live. Granted things can be tough, but it also makes you appreciate life more so.
 

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My guess is she was raised very poor. It certainly doesn't happen to all poor children but I see it over and over again. Someone finally gets something and it is such a big deal to them that telling the world about it becomes their mission in life. You just have to pity her and her emotional scars.
 

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Something I read recently (maybe here!) was:

"It's never a good idea to brag about what you have. Those with less are apt to resent you, while those with more will laugh at the paltry little amount you're bragging over".
 

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When she recently returned from visiting her parents in Florida, she told us that in her next Life she was going to come back as a dog. Why, we asked? Because her Dad gives his dog more attention than any of his kids.

Kind of sad, really.
 

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Some people need to talk about their worldly possessions in order to make them feel good about themselves. Personally, it doesn't really bother me when someone does that. I just don't give them fuel for their fire. I don't fawn over those worldly items they draw attention to. I don't tell them how great they are for spending $200/hour on a birthday party. (Frankly, the kid could be happy with much less. That's totally about the parent impressing other parents). SO, if you can deal........just let her go about her bragging. The fact that you don't seem to care will bug her more than you actually calling her out on her behavior. Just my 2 cents.
 

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mrs oz said:
Some people need to talk about their worldly possessions in order to make them feel good about themselves. Personally, it doesn't really bother me when someone does that. I just don't give them fuel for their fire. I don't fawn over those worldly items they draw attention to. I don't tell them how great they are for spending $200/hour on a birthday party. (Frankly, the kid could be happy with much less. That's totally about the parent impressing other parents). SO, if you can deal........just let her go about her bragging. The fact that you don't seem to care will bug her more than you actually calling her out on her behavior. Just my 2 cents.
I'd go with Mrs. Oz and Gleaners advice, although if it were me, I'd just give her my famous witchy (spelled with a B) smile. You know the one...it's a half smile with a look of pity/contempt in the gleam of my eye.
 

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Menagerie More~on
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I wouldn't be impressed at all, just uncomfortable and astonished at the waste.

And OH so grateful that isn't one of my own character problems, mine have cost me enough as it is!

Sad thing . . . who is really impressed? I wonder if this woman has any real friends. She sounds lonely and very confused about what it means to be liked and respected.
 

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Enjoying Four Seasons
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Sounds a bit like my neighbor. :) Stops over to tell us how much money he made at a job in 2-4 hours. The very next day we'll come home to find him helping himself to our wood pile because he didn't have any money to put oil in his furnace. It takes all types I guess. :rolleyes:
 

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Well, I'm not disagreeing with you about that kind of thing being annoying, but don't you ever talk about what things cost with friends? She may not be flaunting her money, or at least she might not be doing it conciously as you think she is. She may actually think she's identifing with you because things cost so much and, see, she has to watch her money, too. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on it, anyway.

Jennifer
 

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I've had friends like that, and I agree Fiddlecat it gets old!! Why they feel they should brag is beyond me, I guess to make themselves look better for spending so much money on something? :shrug:
 

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Country Lady said:
The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. It can be taken away much quicker than it was given. Not a good idea to boast!
Ain't that the truth!
I agree with Willow, she is toxic, Id keep my distance.
God Bless,
Michele
 
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