not sure how much of a remodel , if your taking the hole house to the studs or an addition and a freshening up
Insulation , insulation . insulation , in the walls , in the ceilings you can do so much with heating and cooling if you have good insulation , if your in OK insulate like you were expecting -30 and +110
second attic ventilation , you want it more than 2/3 of all homes are not vented even to meet the standards , and you should go better , you want to be able to put a thermometer inside and outside you attic and have them be with in 5-10 degrees of each other summer and winter , obviously when they sun is beating down this won't happen but if you look at your midnight reading the inside vs outside should be almost the same all year around
roofing , have you thought about steel?
if your redoing or have the chanced to run electric lines , run a circuit that covers basic lighting for as much of the house as possible like one light bulb per room on a switch and a second in the kitchen over the sink , with one circuit run you can run that one circuit off a battery with a 400 watt inverter , this means you can do a very small solar setup on the south side of the house , and have it charging your battery(s) to run basic lighting a single truck battery will run 10 high compact florescent 60watt equivalent bulbs for days of only as need use if you have a solar panel charging the battery during the day , unless you need specialty lighting you could run without doing anything for a long time
ceiling fans in every room on a second circuit that you can put on the generator panel , yes a generator panel and generator
zone air conditioning , with split units and get one of them say for the master bed or on the second floor if all the beds are up there, on the generator panel along with the
well pump , septic pump if you have one and furnace, also another circuit(s) for freezers and refrigerators
secondary heat source , wood or something , I like a free standing high efficency air tight with reburn wood stove central in the house on a nice big pad with room for a wood box near by , but i have no idea what OK looks like for available fire wood.
water , in addition to having the well on the generator panel you need some way to store more , this can be camp jugs but find a place to store them
you are in Tornado land , something below the house would be ideal if your adding on add a basement , I would probably add on a kitchen as it is the most specialized room in a house with plenty of counter or work table space food exhaust to the outside , livving a more self sufficient life will have you using your kitchen more than a normal person , and not Martha steweret baking stuff
stove , should be Gas ,LP and the tank you should own your own tank , you need to pay attention to how full it is , you might want 2 tanks , your goal is to et a summer fill that will last you till the next summer , yo uget the best price of the year on summer fills , and LP companies don't want to drop the hose if your not buying a near tank full , they just can't it costs them a lot more than you would think to put a driver there with a specialized truck and his/her time , insurance , medical , ect...
if you will use very little LP for some reason like you plan to heat primarily with wood or for whatever reason you can't do a LP furnace get your own 40# or 100# tanks to run the stove on and take them in for fills have extras.
windows , people often don't understand how much the design of a window can help with cooling , you want a window that will let the hot air out at the top so that cool can come in low or if you live where there is almost allwasy a breeze , casment windows can be set up to use the windo like a sail to catch the breeze then windows on the opposite side of the house are opened so that they windows create a bit of a vacuum to pull the air out if you have a left and a right opening window on each side of the house you can create this wind catching and pulling air circulation with almost any wind
as you structure you gardens , animal pens and such do your best to make them close to the house but still accessible with truck and trailer
like others have said smart storage