Pre planned/semi planned/ or not planned at all funeral/plot?

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by Michael W. Smith, Jun 26, 2006.

  1. Michael W. Smith

    Michael W. Smith Well-Known Member

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    Since I didn't want to hijack the "Where Would You Die?" thread, and since many people mentioned about having their wishes known how many here have already preplanned your funeral? Have you bought your plot? How old are you now?

    Or have you actually done nothing, other than let your family know what your wishes are - so they can run around in circles trying to get done after you're dead?

    I've already told my wife my wishes. I'm only 39, but would have no regrets if I died today. Well, I would like to see my son grow up and would like more time with my wife - but you know what I mean - if I were to die, I'm ready. In fact, I think it will be kind of exciting - leaving this world to go to another!

    We plan on being buried right in front of my wife's parents (who haven't passed on yet) and her grandparents.

    At some point I would like to prepay for my funeral and have everything arranged as to what casket/vault/music/what to wear etc so that my family doesn't have to do it for me. I feel that preplanning really saves your family from picking out what they think you want or what they think they should buy. Not only does that take the burden from them, but they won't pick out the $4000.00 casket (because they loved you so much and you deserve it) instead of the $900.00 wooden one that you really would have preferred!

    What about you?
     
  2. Westwood

    Westwood Well-Known Member

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    Dad and mom bought theirs in the early 70's, along with 2 plots for me and my s/o. So that's taken care of.
     

  3. big rockpile

    big rockpile If I need a Shelter

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    Me and my Wife have both ours taken care of.We got nice Caskets.

    big rockpile
     
  4. triana1326

    triana1326 Dances in moonlight

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    My Mom bought a 8 plot site in a beautiful graveyard in Vermont. DH and I will be buried there. Both of us have notarized wills, living wills, and DPofA (durable power of attorney). We both have organ donor cards and I even have my funeral plans written out, including specific songs and poetry readings. DH wants to make our coffins, and is in the process of building my mom's - Dad was going to do it, but he can't use power tools anymore due to the Parkinson's Disease. We made copies of our life insurance policies and all pertinent info and put those in the firesafe lockbox for easy access. We'll be purchasing long term care insurance at age 30, and both our life insurance policies have terms in them so we can purchase more coverage at certain ages without medical exams. I think we're pretty much covered when it comes to death.

    We are both 27 years old.
     
  5. MTNwomanAR

    MTNwomanAR Well-Known Member

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    I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered on my 40 acres....so no huge expense for me or my family..............
     
  6. turtlehead

    turtlehead Well-Known Member

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    I want to be buried in the cheapest wooden box available. I'm not sure where - probably on one of three family cemetries where my ancestors are buried (one church, two family cemeteries), or where my DH's parents are buried. I've never lived anywhere I felt deeply connected to but after a few years here in WV I might decide on a WV plot. I don't want to ever move again, and it's the first time I've ever felt like that.

    I don't care about songs or anything - that's to comfort the living.

    I'm in my mid 40's.
     
  7. Ramblin Wreck

    Ramblin Wreck Well-Known Member Supporter

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    My burial plot was bought by my Grandfather before I was born, so I can't say my planning played a part in it. As for pre-paying for the funeral, I'll probably do as my Dad did and let a trusted family member hold the funds.
     
  8. Obser

    Obser "Mobile Homesteaders"

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    When I no longer inhabit the carcass I don’t care what becomes of it – even though it has served me extremely well with almost no need for repair or maintenance. If convenient it will be donated for medical study. Otherwise any hole in the ground will do. I want no “service”, but would not discourage friends from getting together to have a few drinks and tell stories.

    Life expectancy at my age is about another fifteen years. I intend to make good use of them as I have of past years, to continue to enjoy life with my Wonderful Wife, and to be unconcerned about “the end”. I do not anticipate nor prepare for any sort of afterlife or reincarnation. To me a satisfying present life IS the reward for making appropriate decisions and focusing beyond the self.

    Wonderful Wife will, in all probability, outlive me by many years. Though she will miss my presence, she is very capable of handling her life in my absence and doing whatever she chooses or needs to do. She is not dependent upon me or anyone else to direct, support or give meaning to her life.

    We are in total agreement with all of this and would not even consider devoting time or resources to “making final arrangements”. Our situation and our thoughts on the matter are, of course, much different from those of most people.
     
  9. tiffnzacsmom

    tiffnzacsmom just me Supporter

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    I don't have anything yet but my mother did. A number of years ago she bought a burial plot for herself, then my brother was killed on the job. He is in the plot that was meant for her. I know who her insurance is through and her and my children's godfather both know how to reach one of my policies and my father the other that way if something happens while my children are still minors those who care the most about them have access to the policies right away. I really don't care one way or the other what they do with my body though cremation with no viewing is perferred that way it saves the money for raising my kids not interring me.
     
  10. LvDemWings

    LvDemWings Well-Known Member

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    I have told my family exactly what I want and don't want. I don't want a funeral or a viewing. I don't want any tears and sadness... would much rather they each yell out "ding dong the witch is dead" if that would make them smile and laugh. I wish to be creamated and my ashes scattered in a place that has nothing but happy memories (my family already knows where this is).
     
  11. homebirtha

    homebirtha Well-Known Member

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    Another good reason to pre-plan and pre-pay. My father died last fall without having things paid for ahead of time, although they were pre-planned. Well, when the time came, we were all too emotional and grieving to really negotiate. My mother just paid what the funeral home asked for, paid what the cemetary asked for. When you do it ahead of time, it's much easier to shop around, negotiate, etc. My in=laws have prepaid theirs, and I'm really glad. It will make things so much easier on those who are left to deal with the actual service and burial. SO yes, we will preplan and prepay ours sooner or later. ;-)
     
  12. Dubai Vol

    Dubai Vol Well-Known Member

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    I wanna go here

    Seriously.
     
  13. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Dh and I will be cremated and our ashes sprinkled on a hill at the farm. If any of my children die before I do, I might have them made into a man-made diamond and then placed in a special area of the farm or in the pond since they all love water. It cost about the same as a funeral but still not sure--
     
  14. kars1995

    kars1995 Well-Known Member

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    My grandparents bought all the 'needed' plots for our family at the location in DeGraff, OH. I'm going to be beside my granny (my angel) and I tease my hubby that I'm going to put him beside my dad, his father in-law. He said that's fine with him as long as his butt is facing him. :)
     
  15. dale

    dale Well-Known Member

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    I turn fifty this year and have considered getting a pre paid burial..
    I have seen what families go thru being a pastor and like some one mentioned. Families will over pay thinking that a higher casket would be better for the dear loved one..
    but you are dead.. it doesnt matter.

    have a family that lives in out town that the old man died.. the wife callled the funeral home.. NO Casket No funeral No imbalming, just put him in the burial vault (required in cemtery where buried) She demanded he was buried before the day was done.

    The funeral home respected her wishes. BUT when making the death cert. the name he went by and SS number did not match.. She said try this name them.. it worked..

    dale
     
  16. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Same here. Hubby and I both want to be cremated and our ashes scattered on our farm. (We're in our late 40s.)

    My parents bought their plots, but that was the extent of it. When Daddy died last year we had to make plans quickly. Mama went to the cemetery and picked out a tombstone a couple days before Daddy died. The afternoon of his death we all met at the funeral home and it took about an hour to make the arrangements. Even though Daddy never would talk about what he wanted, we knew him well enough to know. We did not have him embalmed because we felt his body had been through enough (he died of Stage 4 Colon cancer). We had a closed casket service because we knew that he would not want people staring at him. We buried him in his overalls and "good" shirt. I think he would have been pleased with what we did for him and we were glad to be able to do it for him. It was not a burden...a hard thing to do, but not a burden.
     
  17. Quint

    Quint Well-Known Member

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    I've known a couple of people who had those pre-planned funeral plans but when it came time to use them their families found out they were worthless. The companies that wrote the policies went broke. You have to be EXTREMEMLY careful when arranging these types of things.
     
  18. Jennifer L.

    Jennifer L. Well-Known Member Supporter

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    My grandfather bought a plot many years ago next to his parents' plot, and there's lots of room there. I've told family members I want to be cremated, so I'm pretty much set. I don't want a funeral, but they can have a party if they want. :) We do tend to party after funerals in my family.

    Jennifer
     
  19. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    Obser - we are in total agreement once again. I decided to donate my body to science when I was about 15-16 but I had to wait until I was no longer a minor to make arrangements because my mother would have none of it. She was also against cremation - something about the bible saying "ashes to ashes, dust to dust" and God having made us from dust not ashes.

    I've made arrangements with Tulane in New Orleans; might have to change it, at the time I was thinking that was the closest medical school to where I was living. You do have to pay to get the cadaver to them. I also might want to check with Tulane and see if any of the paperwork was lost to flooding during Katrina. I was also thinking that it is likely medical students might no longer need actual cadavers -- probably have a computer program by now. At the time, 4-6 students were sharing one. It's okay with me if they want to dump me at the body farm and study what happens naturally.

    If my family and friends insist on a memorial service - that's really up to them, I'd advise them to wait until the next Buffalo River Campout and just have it there - on Friday night - so Saturday could be all fun and no sadness.

    Hugs
    marlene
     
  20. turtlehead

    turtlehead Well-Known Member

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    My mom died young with a lot of health problems. She looked into donating her body to science but said "science" didn't want her body. She feigned great indignance over that :) When she died we had a huge party after the burial, with a great bonfire throwing sparks high into the night sky. We sat around telling stories about her and laughing and shedding some tears. It was a lovely send off.