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Accidental Farmer
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm not sure where to go from here or why I'm even looking-- but perhaps its because i feel like being on the edge of the dreaded 3-0 that I still quite don't know who I am and what if any purpose I have in life. I always thought i'd live an extrodinary life. I never thought I'd be a desk jocky. And for the most part, I've led an interesting and unusally exciting life (Once I had left home at 17 anyway). I was born with the dreaded itchy feet syndrom and its harder then anything to remain entrenched anywhere for any length of time. If it wern't for getting hitched, I'd still be roaming and yes, sometimes ok, maybe a lot, I miss the roaming around part. But as I said, the big 3-0 is encroaching and I feel like there is so much still left undone and that I need at least one more great adventure under my belt before really settling in. I though about contact my old roomate, but I haven't heard from her in months so I'm not sure even what part of the world she's in right now. I know last time she was in the states after coming home from peru for a littel break she mentioned wanting to do a sailing ship in the carabean kind of adventure which I think would be exciting, but then I got to thinking about something else too, something I ahd thought about now and then since I was little. I though maybe I could find my father? maybe I feel so disconected because I really don't know my roots, perhaps if i found real flesh and blood reletives that I could somehow understand who I am. Anyway, I found a name from the one and only photograph I have of my biological father and yes, I do look like him with that husky (but not overwieght) build, and the blond hair (My grandparents wern't blond or husky shaped) so I must of gotten that from him. I know he was an identical twin and that his last known location was in WA state. So I ithink I found an address by googling but I can't find a phone or an e-mail. I found this person's age, which would be about right. I know, I sound like a stalker now LOL. Anyway I'm a bit afraid of going the next step--- I could write a letter I suppose, and see if this person is my father? I don't know. I'm going to have to sleep on it for a few.
 

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nickie,
Send the letter. The worst that can happen is that he isn't your father, or doesn't respond, in which case you are in the same place you are right now. The best is that a wonderful relationship could ensue. I sent the letter and now I'm quite close to my biological father.
Life does not end at 30. It has barely begun. You will have plenty of time for adventures along the way. I try to live by two rules...1. live each day like it might be your last which means don't do something you might regret because no one will know that you do. and 2. realize that sometimes we are hear for someone else. Once I realized that I stopped feeling like I was always getting the raw end of the deal and started feeling like no matter what was going on in my life, someone was benefitting from it...the powers that be would not have it any other way.
 

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Go for it, Nickie. You would at least know if he is your father and if he wants to get to know you. Once you get those answers you can go on from that.

As for the big 3-0, I agree, it does seem like old age. My answer; never turn 30! I've been 29 for a long, long time. In a few years my oldest child will be older than me! LOL
 

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Milk Maid
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2,873 Posts
Nickie, I also say go for it! Send the letter. If you don't you will always be left wondering about it.

As for the big 3-0. I dreaded turning 30, but there is something magical that happens when you reach your thirties. I have enjoyed being in my thirties more than I ever enjoyed my twenties. It is really a beautiful age.

Good luck!
 

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Accidental Farmer
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks guys. I think I will send the letter but I have mixed expectations and I'm really not sure what to write in that kind of letter at all-- Maybe just a brief note saying "hello I'm so and so and are you.....blah blah blah?"
 

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I recently turned the big 5-0. and guess what - the same questions remain.

What IS our purpose?

I've traveled the world, succeeded in my career, even left the career to start another one. Yet even now - when I should declare success - I wonder.

If I can convey anything - it is to TAKE A CHANCE - to go for the gold. And also - be ready for the highest of highs AS WELL AS the lowest of lows.

The point being - if you take the middle road - you get the middle results. So - do you want to end your life with "oh, I had a mediocre, nice middle road life" - or do you want to be able to remember how you were "king of the world" one day - even if you froze in the icy waters of the north Atlantic a few days later?

I deliberately picked a debatable result - but I have always preferred mountains and valleys.
 

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..where do YOU look?
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3,920 Posts
I'll give you the same advice I gave the last woman that told me she was trying to find herself... I took her to the mall, to the Information Kiosk and pointed. She read the arrow... said, "You Are Here". Bingo, there you go. You know where you are... start there and make yourself!

;)
 

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I'm 58, look 68, and think like I'm 8.

Write and mail the letter. If you don't, you'll get tired of sitting on your foot up your behind.
 

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Nickie, life doesn't end at 30. I joined the army at 32 and enjoyed every minute - well sort of.

I know that's probably not an option for you but there are lots of things you could do. A guy on another board works down at the South Pole for a few months in the winter ( summer there) he got the job through Raytheon Polar services:

http://rpsc.raytheon.com/Employment/

They have a list of job opportunities. Maybe there's something you'd be interested in.

Pauline
 

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You only get so many days on earth. Make them worth the while. No regrets.

I am the youngest of my siblings. 5 years younger then my nearest sister. When my mother passed. My middle sister was "very worried" that I was of the belief that I was an "accident" and that it was effecting me mentally. She was quite amazed when I told here that it did not make any difference at all to me. I told her that I am here and the world will have to accept me as I am. It did not matter my reason for birth.

So far, no real regrets.

Mike
 
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