I have a friend in a very similar situation... and we furnished his entire house for "free," all but the beds, which were purchased from a local hotel (great source for good mattresses, cheap). Every stick of furniture, every bowl, pot, pan, etc, was a gift at the housewarming or came out of attics and storage sheds.

Or as one person said "you don't realize how much you have and don't use until you have a friend with nothing."

 

Melissa,
You are an angel walking on earth.

Rose

PS I want to be like you.

 

I'd make sure this doesn't become a full time job. He DOES need to eventually take this on himself. I would always have him participate in the management of his bills and things. Too many men leave everything to their wives, them are nonplussed when shes no longer there to do it. I handle all the bills and DH needs to know about it all also. I,m gonna take my own advice. hahahaha.

 

What Rose said.

Take care,
Carol

 

I'd make sure this doesn't become a full time job. He DOES need to eventually take this on himself. I would always have him participate in the management of his bills and things. Too many men leave everything to their wives, them are nonplussed when shes no longer there to do it. I handle all the bills and DH needs to know about it all also. I,m gonna take my own advice. hahahaha.

I handle the money at our house, the only reason dh knows anything is if I tell him. I do make him sit down with me every few months and go over our budget (printed out and a running tally kept to see if it needs adjusted) I even keep the date bills are due by on the budget. That way, if I should up and disappear one day he won't be totally lost.

I do know several families that buy their "wants" first, then try and scrounge for bill money.

The house warming for him is a great idea.

 

I do want him to be aware of every aspect of his financial situation. The difficulty will be that he has a very hard time reading anything. I doubt his reading ability is beyond first grade level. He was in the special education classes and we all worked with him for hours and hours when he was younger, but he never learned to read at a competent level. My Dad is the exact same way.

 

when i went through my divorce it was a mess as the x had ran up credit cards that i got stuck paying for plus the child support i now had to pay. It was a huge adjustment and took about 5 years to get things back in order. He is lucky to have you! You and my sis would get along great as you sound a lot alike

 

I do want him to be aware of every aspect of his financial situation. The difficulty will be that he has a very hard time reading anything. I doubt his reading ability is beyond first grade level. He was in the special education classes and we all worked with him for hours and hours when he was younger, but he never learned to read at a competent level. My Dad is the exact same way.

Ah.

My son has some LD's. For him (so says the doctor) success means learning to compensate for his weaknesses, because his weaknesses will always be with him.

How WELL he compensates, for him, means the difference between honor rolls and D's. He is a clever child: he just has a few challenges!

For your brother, perhaps he can memorize his budget! :hobbyhors

 

You know, in our frevor to teach everyone to read, do math, etc. I wonder if we shouldn't also insist that every child gets a good course in llifeskills. That is one thing my dh is insisting that we teach the kids. Yes, they also get the traditional classes but they need basic lifeskills, too. I don't know how many of the kids from both ends of the spectrum (college bound or LD, the middle of the road kids DID get it) that I went to school with that never learned to balance a checkbook or make a budget or put together a shopping list or plan a menu. I asked about the consumer math class and was told I was "too smart" for it? What" An educated person doesn't need to know how to balance his checkbook?

Your brother is lucky to have you.

 

Please forwarn him that he will be needing to pay child support as well, and that he needs to find space in his income for that as well. Best to get that truck payment all up to date before that kicks in.

Best of luck to him and you

 

You know, in our frevor to teach everyone to read, do math, etc. I wonder if we shouldn't also insist that every child gets a good course in llifeskills. That is one thing my dh is insisting that we teach the kids. Yes, they also get the traditional classes but they need basic lifeskills, too. I don't know how many of the kids from both ends of the spectrum (college bound or LD, the middle of the road kids DID get it) that I went to school with that never learned to balance a checkbook or make a budget or put together a shopping list or plan a menu. I asked about the consumer math class and was told I was "too smart" for it? What" An educated person doesn't need to know how to balance his checkbook?

Your brother is lucky to have you.

We homeschool, and that is actually one of the classes we are going to do this year. We picked up a book at the homeschool convention that helps do this, but we are going to set the class up ourselves, as I wasn't happy about the arrangment of the book.

This really should be the parents job as part of raising their children, but is often overlooked and in some cases not possible as the parents have no ability in this area. I would not be against the schools teaching some sort of class along these lines.

 

I honestly think that they cashed their checks, spent whatever they wanted, then tried to pay their bills with what was left- if there was anything left.

You'd be shocked at how many people live exactly like that, thinking that that is the way it's done. They're shocked when they find out that other people pay their bills first, and live on what is left. Apparently, they still believe in the "bill fairy" who comes once a year and pays off your debt FOR you

 

I'd just bet by the time Melissa gets through with him, he'll have everything paid, and money in the bank for a rainy day.
Angie

 

I have a SIL who simply does not comprehend handling money. When Zookeeper16 met him, he was wildy in debt. She took care of that right fast!

I have difficulty with people like that. Maybe it was the way I was brought up or maybe it's because we didn't have much money!

 

Great job Melissa, but please give your brother and extra hug.

I'm thinking he might even get a kick out of someone needlepointing him a throw pillow stating "Reality Sucks" as an apartment warming gift.

Maybe you could give him a buck or two - to do whatever he wants with just so his withdrawal isn't life threatening?

Hugs,
Marlene

 

How lucky he is to have such a sweet and smart sister!

 

I can't imagine how hard it must be to survive in the modern world without reading.

 

We homeschool, and that is actually one of the classes we are going to do this year. We picked up a book at the homeschool convention that helps do this, but we are going to set the class up ourselves, as I wasn't happy about the arrangment of the book.

This really should be the parents job as part of raising their children, but is often overlooked and in some cases not possible as the parents have no ability in this area. I would not be against the schools teaching some sort of class along these lines.

What book is that? I don't homeschool, but am becoming increasingly aware that the time is NOW to teach my sons (especially the oldest) how to handle basic living. He will be going to college in 6 or 7 years and I will not be doing laundry and cooking for him while he's doing it! Where I'm having a hard time is figuring out where to start - he needs to know laundry, including ironing, cooking and menus, and planning his money so it lasts until the next payday!

Melissa, I am quite sure that was a shock for your brother! If he's anything at all like you, he will start catching on pretty quick though. Not being able to read is so frustrating - Lance doesn't read extremely well either, not LD but bad teaching when he was learning. He makes up for it in numbers though, and I bet when your brother applies himself he'll be able to handle his budget in no time.

 

Good for you! I hope it works out. he will "see the light".

I used to take cash and put all the cash in the envelope for that bill or budget item. That way I knew exactly what I had left and all the bills were paid.

When I paid off one bill (like a debt) I'd add the amount of that payment to my next biggest debt.

 

I have a SIL who simply does not comprehend handling money. When Zookeeper16 met him, he was wildy in debt. She took care of that right fast!

I have difficulty with people like that. Maybe it was the way I was brought up or maybe it's because we didn't have much money!

DH luckily was too busy to spend it all, but for instance had as much in the bank (getting 1% interest) as he needed to pay off his big car loan at 12%. Later with my advice he put $5000 into a mutual fund then counter to my better judgement (we weren't married then) he cashed it out a year later to buy another car and had made $1000 in one year or 20% return. I finally figured out he might have been teasing when for a few years after that he would say "Why don't we invest all our money in that fund that pays 20% a year?"

 

The difficulty will be that he has a very hard time reading anything.

Then it will be intimidating, and a struggle for him at first, but once he gets the hang of it, I'm sure he'll find it worthwhile. Getting control of your finances goes a long way towards gaining control of your life.

 

Um... Melissa... what did your PARENTS do?

How is it that he hasn't these skills?

Other than the fact that he's male I mean

 

Um... Melissa... what did your PARENTS do?

How is it that he hasn't these skills?

What possible difference could that make now?

 

It couldn't make any "difference" now except to satisfy my sheer, morbid curiosity!

 

My parents were actually much like ME! Very frugal, stretched their money etc... We lived a total homesteading lifestyle. Aaron was much the same before he was married. Well actually he was a cowboy which meant he lived on the ranch where he had literally no expenses. He used a ranch truck, he lived in the bunkhouse, he ate with the other cowboys and earned a very small sum of money which he used for personal expenses. Then he married and started working in the mine where, to him, he earned an astonomical sum of money which he turned over to his wife. He thought she was paying what needed to be paid. He was too trusting I guess.

Yes, he has a small sum of money for spending, but there just isn't going to be much for a while. As to the reading, yes, it is hard for him. He is not unintelligent though. He has a good memory. One day I was reading a book and he looked at me and sighed saying, "It must be nice to just be able to sit down and read a book." But at this point, every single paper or bill he has to bring to me to read to him.