Now a SAHW!

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by New Mexican, Dec 4, 2004.

  1. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    My dream has come true!

    I'm now at home! Yay!! (never able to have children :waa: )

    and boy am I busy!!

    With five dogs (two newest are Aussie pups..12 weeks and 7 weeks with one older aussie and 2 blue heelers) 14 hens, 1 rooster, 2 cats and now three sheep! I tell everyone I have no time for a "job"!! :no:

    I'm thankful that I can now relax and be happy as the wife God created me to be. Not NEARLY the Proverbs 31 woman but who is?? No stress. I can be the wife that my DH really needs and deserves.

    My soap-making business is booming, much to my excitement! We also sell our eggs. Plus I have a website for those like me who were never able to have babies.

    Any other SAHW out there?? Let's chat!! We are a breed apart!
     
  2. JanO

    JanO Well-Known Member Supporter

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    That's wonderful news NewMexican :D I quit working about 2 years ago and I think I'm busier now then I was when I had a full time job. It's a good busy though, and I welcome it everyday.

    Congrats on your thriving business, too.
    Jan
     

  3. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jan...........I agree. I just wonder how I got everything done before I worked for someone else! Or maybe I just create more to do, not sure. Hmmmmmmm....
     
  4. margo

    margo Well-Known Member

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    I quit a year and a hlf ago, and I too, am busier than I ever thought I'd be. Seems now I can pay attention to things that before had to wait for days off. Except for housecleaning, etc. I never liked it before, and still don't like it.

    So, I am an exception, too. I'd rather be working outside or in my sewing room. Love to care for the animals, though.
    PM me with your web address. or post it, if you will.
     
  5. featherbottom

    featherbottom Well-Known Member

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  6. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    Hi Deb and Margo.

    Yes,Margo........I'm the same way with housework. Hated it then, hate it now. Although I do cook more now which was DH's biggest gripe, but rightly so! I was always too tired to cook anything. www.childlessnotbychoice.com

    Deb, now where are you again? Forgot. :eek:

    What are your past times, beside housewifery, that is??
     
  7. Pansies4me

    Pansies4me Dreaming of autumn....

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    Hello other SAHWs! I made the transition to home over four years. I did part-time contract work based out of my home for a few years after I quit teaching fulltime, but eventually wanted out of even that. So for the past two and a half years I have been at home full-time. We are childless, but still hope to be blessed with children. My husband works at home full-time (graphic design and web design) and I work very part time on an "as needed" basis as a writer/editor to help with the business. But I am first and foremost a homemaker and helper to my husband.

    I LOVE BEING AT HOME!!!!!!!!!! I count myself blessed every day that I am able to be home. I cannot imagine going back to a regular job away from home. My health is much better, our homelife is better, etc. since I stayed home. It would be SO HARD to give up the freedom to set my own schedule, come and go as I please, be involved with a variety of interests, etc. I feel so, so blessed.

    My heart goes out to the other folks I know personally and on the board who desperately want to be home and have not found a way to make it work. We prayed for a number of years for the opportunity to be home and God has answered that prayer and blessed us abundantly.

    I look forward to hearing from more SAHWs!
    Sallie
     
  8. featherbottom

    featherbottom Well-Known Member

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  9. MorrisonCorner

    MorrisonCorner Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs

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    Glory Be! More SAHW's! Who knew there were more than... like.. ONE of us!

    This past week I was involved in the planning and executing of a conference. Four full days of "real job" including the 2.5 hours of communte time. Dang near killed both of us. Certainly didn't help the animals any. Put an end to any ideas we had of my returning to the workforce in a serious professional capacity. MUCH too expensive.
     
  10. 3girls

    3girls Well-Known Member

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    I do wish you people wouldn't say, "I no longer work." Make it instead, "I am no longer employed outside the home." Homemakers with or without children certainly work as well as contribute in a big way to the communiity. Pat yourselves on the back.

    I now live in my daughter's home and am made to feel that I am an important part of the household. I am able to do the daytime thing with the kindergartner. However, I would like to be a contributing member, so I don't feel so dependent.

    In reading these and other fora (forums?) I have found jillions of ways to produce small income streams. I am taking them one at a time, but I will be able to produce a good bit of produce and meat, bring in enough cash for the occasional trip to Costco, etc.

    I help in the garden, am starting a small propagation nursery, will have rabbits and chickens to care for. These are just a start, and may be all I can do alone I do want to explore raising quail and squab, as well as grow cut flowers for sale. Hopefully, my daughter can cut back her hours, and can do more with the growing. It is amazing what one can do with acre or two--for that matter, even a large lot!!

    There are a lot of lucky husbands out there!
     
  11. Jen H

    Jen H Well-Known Member

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    Count me in!

    I was a full-time landscaper until my knee cap decided to start wiggling around on it's own. Of course I didn't stop working, just stopped lifting properly and really did a number on my back. Hubby finally sat me down and told me to stop working - the place was paid for, the vehicles are paid for, no credit card debt - because I was living in pain constantly and it was only going to get worse.

    That was 3 years ago, and I honestly don't know how I found the time to work outside the home! Between the apples, garden, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 sheep, and 2 goats I'm plenty busy. We're eating much healthier than we used to because I home cook most of our meals (except for the once a week Mexican fix hubby needs). Most importantly, we're both a whole lot happier. There's more time to enjoy each other because I just do errands and chores during the day as a matter of fact instead of us both running around on the weekend trying to get everything done.

    We haven't been able to have children either. The problem is hubby, not me. So we're going to be starting down the adoption road next year.
     
  12. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I agree that there ARE happy husbands amongst us!

    Fact is, women belong in the home anyway, in my humble opinion. Personally,I am not built to "brave it out there". Yes, I have an "education" but how does that help my household when it suffers in the long run. I know that DH misses this lifestyle we've so lovingly built the last 8 years that we've been married. But, the dogs, cats, chickens and now goats will be well-rounded by the time we are ready to both be home.

    Jen, you said it best. Healthy eating is oh so important.

    I'm excited to be seeing so many of us here. For those who have children, I know my life is very different from yours. Someday you will have grandchildren, I will not. :( However, we are STILL SAHW's with no kids at home to care for.

    Let's keep this going, gals! I think it's rather exciting to be able to share the "ins and outs" and "ups and downs" of daily homestead life.

    Quick question: Do any one of you belong to your local extension club??

    See you all soon!!!!!!!!
     
  13. stirfamily

    stirfamily Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I am a SAHW, although we do have kids--all grown up now with kids of their own. I love being a SAHW. What I don't love is how everyone (except DH of course) think I do nothing all day! I call myself the stirfamily COO. And that's just how I look at it too. I love being able to be home when DH is home, to make his lunch each day, take care of the house, the animals and the property.
    I have just started investigating our local Home extension clubs and have started a local sewing group. Please count me in your group too!

    Karen in NE Indiana
     
  14. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    Welcome, Karen!

    I, too, have heard this: "Ah, a lady of leisure,huh"? But then she took it back. I do not sit down! And what's a nap?? Does anyone know??

    Our local extension club is mainly comprised of much older women in their 60's 70's etc. Eight years ago, I was a SAHW but I literally "ruined" it by playing too much. Back then I'd been a newly-wed and never had an opportunity to stay home. I took advantage and dh did not appreciate it. I don't blame him one bit. NOW, given this opportunity once again, I'm all straightened up, ladies! He does admit that I'm much happier like this. The household is almost back in harmony.

    Oh,what I was saying is that I'd missed the extension club so much and I rejoined a couple of months ago. I've learned so much from these ladies. Back then, I'd held a few offices etc. LOVED IT!! We had a county Homemaker who became a good friend. I've not taken offices this time since my soap business is thriving. My homelife is first and foremost!

    What programs does your club have? How 'bout at the county level? Just like to know what others do.

    See you all around!!
     
  15. MorrisonCorner

    MorrisonCorner Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs

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    AAAKKK. :eek: Have you ladies noticed how "older" is in the eye of the beholder?

    We don't have an extension club here... or if we do it is well underground. As a tourist destination, heck, we don't have many farmers either. I'm very lucky to be a solitary creature by nature... I could, cheerfully, spend a month of Sundays here on the farm and never get off except to run the odd errand. There have been weeks where I literally didn't speak to anyone other than my husband (except through email).

    The husband, however... would go nuts. In fact, we're talking about his "retirement" now, and I'm pushing him to go for a doctorate, so he can take on a part time teaching position instead of a full time retirement. He needs that interaction with other people on a daily basis. He's not good with great swaths of silence in his life. (And in his "not being good" he'll drive me bonkers!)

    Is this an issue for you? Do you keep a radio going, or a support group, so you aren't immersed in silence... or are we naturally solitary people, content to live in silence?
     
  16. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    I love solitary! DH needs the TV on when he's home. NOT ME!! I have no radio/TV on. But I do have my 'puter here!! Actually, I have two going so I'm multi-tasking even in the office!!!

    DH does not NEED folks....we are content right here with the animals andone another. We both are creative folks and our "wheels" are contantly turning.

    (sorry if my comment about the 'older' offended you. I'm 47 so many of the ladies are my mother's age bracket...if she were still alive. I look to them as a mother-figure)
     
  17. Snugglebunny

    Snugglebunny Well-Known Member

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    I am a SAHM - mother to two boys ages 2 and 3. I know this will sound wierd, but I am just not good at working outside the home! I tried so many different things and never felt...fulfilled, and to make it worse I just couldn't seem to be what everyone else wanted or needed.

    Fortunately, I am one of the rare people who's husband makes just enough (barely, it seems) for me to stay home. Once and a while, though, my hubby and I will argue about money or something and he'll say "Why don't you just get a job so we can have more money" as if I would be able to bring in a ton of money. No degree, no experience, unable to hold a job for longer than a year...what is there, Retail? And can we put both boys in daycare on my meager salary enough to make it worthwhile? I don't think so.

    Besides, it seems I barely have enough time and energy to get things done now. Honestly think I'd be able to do anything and hold a job? I don't think so.

    At any rate, I have three males to care for (four if you count the cat). Stubborn people they are. I spend my time trying to clean the house (just to have them mess it up again) and finding/making creative and nutritious foods for them to eat. I try to make my hubby's life as easy as I can, and support him in his work and school. (Hubby is also in school part-time right now - will go full time in another month or two, in addition to work)

    And eventually, when my boys are in school (thought of homeschooling, but Oldest son's needs are that which really require public school, God willing) I will still stay home (again, God willing) and have animals instead. This way, I may not bring in much money, but I can provide my family with good food and a happy home and way of life that will meet so many needs and teach them more than anything else I can think of.

    And nothing else...no other occupation I have thought of has brought me the same peace in my heart and mind that caring for farm animals has brought me. Now, to find the patience to wait until this dream comes true...

    Sorry so long...
     
  18. 3girls

    3girls Well-Known Member

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    Adding to my post above: There is lots you can do to contribute, Snuggle..
    See your "at home" time as your paid job!! You are your own boss, and the boss says to show up for work at a certain time.

    The little guys are certainly old enough to help in a garden..They need their own patch, right next to yours, to dig and shovel in and plant beans and radishes (both show quick results) They would also love a flock of chickens and a few rabbits. In this way, you can have a lot of fun with your boys, as well as providing tax-free income (in the form of food) for your family. Kids take up a lot of your time, but they can be doing creative play while you tend garden, etc. Just decide ahead of time that interruptions are a "good thing".

    You also can take them on a shopping expedition to the thrift stores where you will find clothes for the whole family!! I personally have to be very careful or I'll find all kinds of "neat junk" to take home. You can head out to the country to see the cows and also pick up a bushel of apples and make lots of applesauce and applebutter.

    You can see your wants as challenges: how can I make what I want without having the expensive gidgets. Check out "freecycle.com" and e-bay for good buys. Never buy new when used and in good shape is available. Check ads and coupons for savings on the things you need. Use cloth hankies and towels. Get a mind-set of frugal and forget about being frugal because you have to, see it as a fun challenge. Much of this is attitude that you develop over time.

    Are you creative? Take up beading, quilting, soapmaking, etc.

    Finally, when my husband was working on his Masters, it was a hard time for all. You will contribute mightily by making a serene warm place for hubby to come home to. Save the gripes for the weekend. Make a game with the boys to pick up for Daddy just before he gets home. There is a difference between neat and thoroughly clean. You'll have to do this with them. One day the degree will be completed and you will be able to be "normal" again.

    I hope some of this helps some of you all. I completely agree that you'd have to be in a high-powered career job to pay for the daycare. (have you thought of doing that?) But you can contribute in so many ways at home.
     
  19. Snugglebunny

    Snugglebunny Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all the great ideas. Unfortunately, we are living in a tiny apt with no yard space, and aren't likely to live somewhere where we can garden for another two years. Trying to save up for our little piece of heaven!

    Still, my boys do help at times, with cleaning up their toys and the like. My son goes to state-paid childcare three mornings a week (for therapy reasons - he has some developmental issues, nothing serious), and we're thinking of sending my other son there as well, so I may have three mornings a week free!! My hubby asked me what I'll do with all that time, and I said "*GASP* I can go to the DOCTOR!!!" LOL

    Fortunately, my boys have loving grandparents that can't help but buy all the toys and clothes they need, and I am learning how to cook things from scratch so I don't need expensive pre-processed food. I taught myself how to bake bread using a tutorial online, and bake a loaf or two every week. I'm learning how to cook fresh veggies instead of canned, and how to feed my family on a minimal budget (thanks to my Mom for giving me my grandmother's 1944 copy of Fannie Farmer's "Boston Cooking School Cookbook")

    As for taking care of others' kids...I love my own kids...can't stand other people's kids.

    I am a born & Bred New Englander, complete with the penny-pinching and frugal mindset. My mom knew how to take a whole chicken and make four meals out of it (sometimes more), feeding all six of us. I learned from the BEST! I can even shop at the local food-coop, which can be more expensive than other stores, and buy more local, fresh and healthier products.

    You are absolutely right, also, on creating a serene place for my hubby. I learned that a while ago, since he suffers from anxiety, worry and depression quite often. That's why I try, above anything, to make sure he has plenty of healthy food to eat (he won't eat if he has to make it...food is not a priority for him), and try to help him out as much as possible. I am learning how to keep my mouth shut (difficult thing) and to have a "Quiet and gentle Spirit". I am learning how to give him my opinions without fighting, and to choose my battles. I was also taught my whole life how to see the good and light of every situation, and that "it can always be worse" - to count my blessings.

    More than knowing where to shop to get things cheap, I have learned how to live without. My kids don't need a ton of clothes, neither do I. My hubby could use some, though...and it's hard to find his size or have money for good office clothes. My kids don't need a ton of toys - they'll only likely break them or fight over them anyway. We don't vacation, we go out once a week, and take many trips to my parent's who live an hour away.
     
  20. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I've also gotten, "oh, you dont' have kids, you're so lucky" or "do you want MINE??". (wonder if their kids know they say this about them. Hmmmm...) I do not consider that lucky! I don't even LIKE the word LUCKY. :rolleyes:

    I think "they" think I've got a "breeze" of a life. Fact is, it's been sad many times. Thoughts of "aloneness" in elder years. No one has EVER called me Mommy. Not looking for sympathy, here. But looking to educate those who were blessed with the gift of children. They are not the ONLY give God gives, did you know that? He says that children are A gift, not THE gift!

    Next time any of you mothers hear from someone that they cannot/could not have children, a simple "sorry for your loss" is very appropriate. It IS a loss.......think of a funeral. Would you say to someone who lost their mother, "Want Mine??" Or "you are so lucky your mother is now gone".

    Again, just wanting to educate here, not condemn. The comments mentioned above have been my "thorn" for many years. God has called me to "Pastor" those who are experiencing unchosen childlessness. It's a very unique road and one that has gone unnoticed for too long. For lack of a better term, we are a HUGE minority. Misunderstood as well. Many think we do not LIKE kids but eau contrare!
    Thanks for reading if you got this far!!