[Snugglebunny]

My son has a couple of small cavities (he's 4) and our family dentist won't work on him since he's so little. They sent us to a ped. dentist. The ped. dentist's office has a no-parent policy - no parent in the room with the child when he's seeing the dentist! They wanted to put him under nitrous oxide to keep his bouncing to a minimum to work on his two teeth, and I wasn't allowed to be in there!

I called to confirm the appointment, and asked if I could be in there, or at least in the hall watching... they were adamant - 'No.' I told them I was really uncomfortable allowing my 4 year old under gas and alone with a strange man and REALLY needed to be with him, even if it's in the hall. Her tone of voice sounded like I was nuts adn she said they can't do that!

He's the only ped. dentist for many miles... now I gguess I better find another one. His teeth aren't bugging him, so I guess I dont need to flip out about it.

I guess I just need some reassurance here.

 

[Melissa]

I can see where some kids might get more upset if Mom is in the room, but I don't see why you couldn't be in the hallway or other out of the way place where you can see what is going on but the child might not be able to see you. I was in the room when Brady had his first filling and he was about 8-9.

 

[barnyardfun]

I would never EVER let your child be in there without you! That is crazy!! The ped dentist we go to lets me sit on the chair with the kids and hold there hand. Not only would I not trust this situation (I am a little less trusting with the stuff I have going on now!) but I wouldn't want my kids to be scared and me not be there to comfort them!

FIND A DIFFERENT DENTIST!

 

[matt633]

I can kinda see why after watching a 5 yr old physically fight w/ a hygentist while "mommy" sat and said, "it's ok honey, they aren't going to hurt you". He clamped his mouth shut, kicked stuff out of their hands, etc until the poor hygentist said "We can either send mommy out of the room or she can bring you back another day". Disgusted mommy left the room and he shaped in about 1 minute! BTW, our ped. dentist has rooms w/ 4 chairs in them and little divider walls so no one is EVER alone, anyway.

BUT....even that said...I would never leave MY kids alone in a room w/ anyone. Even when my son had xrays and I thought I might be pregnant, I made them leave a small crack in the door so I could hear everything and see the table he was on. I don't know that they can really enforce that policy legally, either....I might look into that.

Rachael

 

[MicheleMomof4]

Yea, that is nuts. I never left my daughter. And if they told me I had to, I would have walked out.
God Bless,
Michele

 

[Snugglebunny]

I have never - even with all the doctors and therapists and stuff my older son saw for his low muscle tone and speech delay - never had to ask someone - heck, nearly beg them - to allow me to stay in the room with my kids! I've never had to. I am in shock and more than a little upset that their 'policy' is so strictly enforced that I am not even allowed to stand in the hall!!!

My mom says my neice (who is younger than my boys - sees a diff. dentist in another state) has had lots of dental work done, and BOTH my brother & his ex-wife were allowed to be there with her!!!

 

[susieM]

I began taking mine for checkups when they were just getting their first teeth...at about four months. We go three times a year, and make it fun, which is easy, as our dentist is a kind and funny man. I am also a manic about the kids taking care to look after their teeth (don't want them to have the same problems as me), and so far, we have one cavity between four kids in over sixteen years.

Find another dentist, one you like.

 

[michiganfarmer]

My son has a couple of small cavities (he's 4) and our family dentist won't work on him since he's so little. They sent us to a ped. dentist. The ped. dentist's office has a no-parent policy - no parent in the room with the child when he's seeing the dentist! They wanted to put him under nitrous oxide to keep his bouncing to a minimum to work on his two teeth, and I wasn't allowed to be in there!

I called to confirm the appointment, and asked if I could be in there, or at least in the hall watching... they were adamant - 'No.' I told them I was really uncomfortable allowing my 4 year old under gas and alone with a strange man and REALLY needed to be with him, even if it's in the hall. Her tone of voice sounded like I was nuts adn she said they can't do that!

He's the only ped. dentist for many miles... now I gguess I better find another one. His teeth aren't bugging him, so I guess I dont need to flip out about it.

I guess I just need some reassurance here.

Ask around to see if he is trustworthy. If he is then let him go alone. If you just cant stand having him in there alone then you might have to drive to a place that lets you in the room with him.

If it was very important to me, I would drive whatever distance neccessary to be in the room wiht my kids

 

[RachAnn in NW Okla]

that is a common practice around here....even an 18 month old who cant communicate where it hurts or whatever....my friend found a new dentist when they refused to let her go back with her daughter...the first visit the parents could but after that it was no-parent policy

I can see from the dentist's POV that your child may act better without you around....and to be out in the hall may come close to breaking patient confidentiality as you would be seeing who is coming and going.....

why cant they take your son back, give him gas and let you be in there as he is drowsy and out of it?

Rachel

 

[Bink]

I suppose you could ask them, "What, exactly, are you going to do in there that you don't want me to see?"

 

[busybee870]

I can see where some kids might be more nervous or not as cooperative with mom there, however, i do not think they can legally keep you out, i would contact the american medical association or american dental association. I have had regular doctors try to pull stuff that was wrong, and i reported them. I was not charged for the visit either. I would never leave my child that young alone.

 

[Snugglebunny]

It is a little odd that they wouldn't give an explaination - she just said "No. We can't do that."

 

[susieM]

Some hospitals in France won't let you be there with the kid when blood is being taken, because they've found that the look on the mom's face sets the kid to crying, when, without the mom, everything goes just fine.

So maybe the somution is to send the kid off with a cheery 'off you go, then, have fun!', and make it as good an experience as possible?

We don't get gas...or novocaine...they just grab the drill and go.

 

[Ardie/WI]

Yea, that is nuts. I never left my daughter. And if they told me I had to, I would have walked out.
God Bless,
Michele

Me too!

 

[ladybug]

Definately find another dentist, I had a dentist when I was a kid that didn't allow my mom back there, and he used to threaten to slap me if I wouldn't sit still, and actually did once...that was the last time I ever had to see him and my mom raised 10 kinds of H*ll about it. Thank God the next dentist was very nice although I've been afraid of going to the dentist ever since that bad experience lol. There is no good reason for them to do that!

 

[tiffnzacsmom]

Some of the dentist around here do that too and to top it off they want the child sedated before the appointment. There is no way in the world either is happening with my child, what scares me the most is when I was growing up the one dentist that I know does that left the room while a three year old was being gassed and she died from an undiagnosed heart condition, if someone was in the room with her she would still be here the same doctor also had a bad habit of not washing his hands and I got a nasty infection and lost a few teeth from it. Too bad more parents don't stand up and say it isn't going to happen, then when the revenue dried up the dentists would have to take another look at their policies.

 

[blue8ewe]

I went to one.....
They can stick it in there ear. We found another dentist.
I dont care what their reasons are. You dont hide my kids from me. And they will behave and mind me. Plus it is just down right cruel to force a child to handle their fear alone without someone they trust their to protect them.

 

[All country]

Trust your instincts!!!

When I was a kid we (younger sister, brother, & I) went to a dentist with the same policy. Mom did not care for this dentist. She couldn't say why, but felt uncomfortable with him. Her instincts were right on.
As siblings we were allowed back together to be worked on. This dentist had 4 chairs lined side by side up in the same room. The dentist kept telling Mom & Dad that I had cavities inside my teeth. He had already filled 7 teeth that had appeared perfectly fine to us. My mouth doesn't open real wide, this dentist actually tore flesh at the corners of my mouth. When my younger brother spoke up about it he clamped his hands over brothers mouth bruising his face. We had in the past complained about this dentist and how rough he was with us. This time, we told our parents what had happened, they saw my brothers bruised face, and it was the last straw. We never went back to him again.

Mom & Dad thought it was urgent for us to find another dentist right away as they had been told I needed 3 more fillings. When we found a new dentist he told us my teeth were fine. It has been 30 years and I still have no fillings in those other teeth. Guess our families insurance was too good for the other dentist to pass up.



However
When my children were little we went to pediatric dentist with the same policy. We checked him out before we would let him care for our children's teeth. One of the most important things we did was talk to children who went to him. We wanted to know how they personally felt about him. He had one assistant who was a bit rough with little ones. I think she was with him less than a month. It didn't take him long to fire her. This guy is a great dentist and we have never had any problems with him at all. Everyone we have talked to about him, just loves him. He is good with the kids and does great work.
He did tell me that the reason most children's dentist had this policy was it was easier on the children and him, not to have the parents there. Children tend to behave better than when Mommy or Daddy are fussing over them.

 

[clovis]

It is common practice around here to deny the parents access while the kids are in the chair.

I just called around...AND FOUND A NEW DENTIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one will deny me access with my DD.

Clove

 

[Snugglebunny]

It's not the policy - it's that they won't work with me and acknowledge my right to protect my child. I asked if I could at least just stand in the hall, and they adamantly said no, and acted like I was the only nitwit on earth who could possibly not want to leave him alone! Not even in the hall, or balled up in the corner of the office, but down the hall and in the waiting room out of earshot! It just doesn't seem LEGAL for them to deny me that right to be with my SON! If I were some pain-in-the-butt overprotective parent, that's one thing, but all I'm askign for is to be near my son while he's Gassed!

I don't care if other people think he's the nicest man on earth. Some of the nicest people have turned out to be the most horrible when left alone. We can't even leave our kids with a BABYSITTER, let alone a dentist!