No one here for Christmas but me and the wife

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Shadow, Dec 25, 2006.

  1. Shadow

    Shadow Well-Known Member

    Jan 10, 2006
    I insisted that we meet for Thanksgiving dinner like we have for the past forty years, It and Christmas eve is the only times we expect to see both of the children. They go to their mothers Christmas day as they have since we divorced 25 years ago.
    This year the daughter said she could not make it at Thanksgiving as she wanted to do something else, I requested that I only expected to see her and her brother at Thanksgiving lunch, (which we have at a buffet at a hotel) usually for a couple of hours at most and for dinner out at a resturant on Christmas eve. She has been to the farm only twice in the past 11 years, my son has been four or five times in the past five years.
    She and her suginificant other was there for Thanksgiving along with her mother , her brother and me and my wife thats the usual Thanksgiving group.
    Shortly after Thanksgiving my sons siginifant other had surgery and since he was recovering she emailed everone and said lets put off the Christmas eve dinner untill January or probably Feberuary so they would have more time to get over the surgery, So ok.
    Tonight we got a call from my son wishing us a merry christmas and chatted for a little while and then said he had to go as traffic was getting worse, and I asked him where he was and he was on his way to meet his sister for the Christmas eve thing. Seems they all made it but me and the wife. So here we are no kids for the first time in 45 years , we are not going to see anyone.
    \ This is typical of the daughter she has gotten even for feeling I made her meet us for Thanksgiving.
    The wife knows I am upset and so is she as she treats them as her kids not step kids. She accepts them and their partners even though most of their family does not, Both of my kids are gay, I have always accepted it and their pardners but seems they care more for the people that have disowned them. Sorry just a rant , Merry Christmas.
    My wife wants me to tell them that the doctors have told me there is nothing more they can do for me, I have not told them because there is no reason to upset them. Personally I look at it as sure I have several heart blockages they can not reach , this I know but other people just do not know about what is wrong with them..
  2. nana-san

    nana-san Well-Known Member

    Sep 22, 2006
    Southern DE

    I am sorry your Christmas tradition has changed so abruptly. Maybe its time for you and your wife to start a different one.

    Have a homemade Christmas breakfast at home with each other, snuggle up and give thanks for good you both had through out the year.

    Merry Christmas from Japan.

  3. MaryNY

    MaryNY Well-Known Member

    Oct 25, 2004
    New York
    Hello Shadow and Merry Christmas! Nice to see you posting here! I would tell you that you could adopt me and I would come have dinner with you, but I think I'm at least as old as, if not older than, you are!! hehehehehee One upside to it all is that you didn't have to go out and drive in traffic, or expose yourselves to a possible case of e-coli; and you get to stay home, be restful and quiet, and enjoy your home and your animal neighbors . . . birds and such.

    Hope you have a wonderful, quiet, peaceful day. Oh, and I just had a thought -- I know you work with wood - have you ever thought of making a set of wood nativity figures . . . and maybe a stable? I bet it would be beautiful. Maybe a project for next Christmas.

    By the way -- do you take Omega3 fish oil. I have found that to be great stuff. You can PM me for info if you like.

    Take care of yourself and Mrs. Shadow, too!

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

  4. Alice In TX/MO

    Alice In TX/MO More dharma, less drama. Supporter

    May 10, 2002
    Texas and S. Missouri
    Yup, yup. Doing the same solo thing this Christmas morning too.

    Yes, it hurts.

  5. chris30523

    chris30523 Well-Known Member

    Jun 11, 2005
    Our Christmas traditions have changed also.My son's both have other lives.We do try to get together once a year but Christmas they usually spend with the girlfriends family.It hurt my feelings some until I realized that is what happens.I did the same thing to my husband. Until my parents passed we spent every Christmas with them.Christmas isn't the same when you no longer have small children at home. We enjoy the peace of the day and spend the evening with some friends of ours who also have grown children.
  6. tamatik

    tamatik Well-Known Member

    Jan 2, 2006
    massey ont
    me and the wife here too..She is used to spending christmas without anyone close but This is the first i have had without the boy..I,m not loving this yet,
  7. Pony

    Pony STILL not Alice Supporter

    Jan 6, 2003
    Our Christmas traditions have changed significantly as well, and will continue to shift as the kids make choices as they grow and mature. Don't always like their choices, but I can't control them, either.

    Only person I can control is me. Which is cool, because I get lots better results when I try to change myself. :)

    This year, the kids are busy Christmas Day, but we're going over to have dinner with a bunch of really great folks we know whose families are also rather unavailable (in oh so many ways). We are putting the FUN back into dysFUNction. ;)

    I'm learning more and more that life is what we make of it. It stings when you have to develop new traditions and let go of the old, but it stings a lot less when you decide that your happiness does not depend on the actions of others.

    (Of course, I say that while my head is in a good place. Other times, I can be reduced to a puddle of tears by the littlest things...)

    God bless your Christmas, Shadow, no matter how you spend it, and may He give you healing of body and spirit.

    Merry Christmas!

  8. green5acres

    green5acres Well-Known Member

    Aug 12, 2004
    Christmas Eve has always been a houseful here too and then ,Christmas morning breakfast at our daughters house No grandchildren here last night, kinda sad -its the twins first year that we could have enjoyed with them opening their gifts, last year they really didnt get the whole Santa thing. They are only 20 mths old now. Due to a bad case of this terrilble flu, in and out of emergency room this week with the boys, we all just stayed home. At least so far they are getting better, but now the 3 mth old baby seems to be getting it, hope not. Its a qeiet day here so far, and its POURING rain. Guess Ill light a fire and watch some videos ..Merry Christmas to all. Dee
  9. Grandmotherbear

    Grandmotherbear Well-Known Member Supporter

    May 14, 2002
    Fl Zones 11
    Shadow- tell yourself that it's a shame that the children are so desperate to try to get love and acceptance from those horrible judgemental people on your ex's side. And maybe if you were nasty to them and worked on their insecurities they would be desperate for your approval too, but would you really like to be that way yourself?
    I worked many christmases and thanksgivings over the last 25 years to not have to indure my inlaws(or mothers) verbal abuse.It;s nice to be just grandfatherbear and myself.
    At least you have Mrs Shadow...
  10. GrannyG

    GrannyG Well-Known Member

    Mar 26, 2005
    near Abilene,TX
    DH and I have each other, so we have alot this morning. Our neighbors are fixing dinner for about 20 or more, so we were invited over today. We are counting our blessings as on December 27 our town burned, 116 homes and 2 lives were lost, over 7000 acres burned. There will be a town memorial this coming week. We are so blessed, and our town has risen up from the ashes, new homes and famililes celebrating the holiday with thankful hearts to all the wonderful souls who sent money, clothes, furniture, and hours of rebuilding homes for them out of love. It will be a new beginning for many of precious memories of the true meaning of Christmas, the giving of love by others to our town. Happy Holidays !
  11. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

    May 10, 2002
    It's just Roger and I here today and that makes me happy and content. We don't have to deal with relatives we don't like and all of that nonsense. We went to morning church service and we had a hymn sing. Pastor Chris would read a passage and we'd sing a Christmas hymn. It was neat!

    Last night DD, Zookeeper16, and her family came over. We exchanged gifts and ate entirely too much food. They're going to Green Bay today as her father and his family live there.