New reality show...

Discussion in 'Pigs' started by jackie c, Oct 18, 2004.

  1. jackie c

    jackie c Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    561
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    ontario
    I would really like to hear some of your stories about escaped pigs. I think if my ecapades were aided by video for description, it would the be the start of a whole new comedic reality show, "how not to homestead" ? sound good to you?
     
  2. moonwolf

    moonwolf Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    7,576
    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Location:
    Canada
    "how to homestead" video. Now, is pig escapement and recapture a requirment to graduate from homesteading? :haha:
    So much about 'homesteading' IS Reality. I am thinking maybe break down a programming of events into episodes and name them accordingly, such as
    "Pigsteading 101"
    "Recapture of the escaped Homestead Pig"
    "The reluctant Porcine"
    How about a spoof such as "The Great Pig Escape"

    Do you need a titlist or help in writing those scripts? Look no further than HT and a cast of thousands...well, maybe not that many. :haha:
     

  3. uncle Will in In.

    uncle Will in In. Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    7,154
    Joined:
    May 11, 2002
    Jackie, One of the funniest pig stories was right here about a year or so ago. These new pig raisers had their hogs up to butcher size. They though they would go any where they wanted them to because they were so tame. They tried loading them into a pickup out in the yard without any gates or other aids. That's when the race was on. That's when they found out a determined homesteader can't outrun a big fat pig. The saga lasted for hours. (Sound familiar?)
     
  4. dla

    dla Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    356
    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2004
    Location:
    Damascus, Maryland
    If I'd have broken out the camera instead of helping DD catch that pesky male, I might have made a bunch of reality TV money, but my daughter would have Killed Me First.
     
  5. kjerckie

    kjerckie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    152
    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Location:
    NW Washington
    Had my escapees in a 50' corral roundpen, hog wire inside, and a row of 2x12's tied along that. I work a swing shift, so one night driving up the driveway I see darting movements just beyond my headlights. I get out and hear the loose grunts and squeels. Get my flashlight and chase them back to the pen..... then for the next hour (1230pm) they are running around the outside of the pen with me trying to catch up! I think I wore them out, they finally dove under the hole they'd created. I slept good that night too. Pig always win until slaughter day.
     
  6. Chuck

    Chuck Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    3,286
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2003
    Location:
    WV
    Yep, Been there done that. You're right, it would make for a great show.
     
  7. tobo6

    tobo6 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,072
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2003
    Happened to me with our first pig. The kids were in the woods with binoculars and I was up on the porch standing on a ladder painting our ranch sign when I heard the twins talking. They are 8 year old boys. One of them said "I think I see a space ship", and the other one said, "That's no space ship, that's a pig!". I turned around and here comes our 240 lb. pig straight for the porch. I yelled for all four kids to go to the back door of the house and I ran for the front door, lol. We watched it out the window for a few minutes, while I decided what I wanted to do. When the pig headed towards my roses, war was declared. I picked up a broom and out I went. The kids following me. I yelled at my oldest son who is 11 to go get the pig feed and shake the can. Now, I have to explain that before this moment, I use to run with the pig back and forth from the outside of its pen while chanting "make the muscle". After a couple laps the pig would collapse breathing hard. It always made me feel good about myself to be able to be in better shape than our pig, lol. Trust me when I tell you that out in the open a 240 lb pig can out run me!!! When I run, the pig thought it was suppose to run, but out in the open it did not collapse from exhaustion! Ohh, I forgot to mention that I also grabbed my digital camera when I grabbed the broom in the house and while being chased by the pig I was taking pictures, to prove to dh that this really happened, lol. I had to have bragging rights you know!

    Lesson learned. When you use cattle panels to pen a pig, tie the corners with wire and not tie straps!!

    Deb
     
  8. jackie c

    jackie c Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    561
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2004
    Location:
    ontario
    Out of the mouths of babes :p Thats a really cute discussion they had. Can you post your pics? Would love to see them ;)
     
  9. tobo6

    tobo6 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,072
    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2003
    I just got a new computer a couple months ago, and the pictures are on my hard drive on my old computer. When I figure out if and how to change harddrives without screwing up this one I'll post them. :)

    Deb
     
  10. Chuck

    Chuck Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    3,286
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2003
    Location:
    WV
    Here's a story I wrote a couple of years ago about a pig escape:

    I'm not really a country boy by training. I grew up in town, and only moved out to the farm a couple of years ago. Farming for me is a new experience, a good antidote to my mild mannered stockbroker existence, but I'm still not completely "converted". So when the phone rang at six-thirty this morning, I jumped out of bed. No one ever calls that early, so I figured it must be an emergency.

    It was my neighbor, about a mile down the road. "Did you lose any pigs?" She asked.

    "What?" I replied sleepily. "Uh, no. I don't think I own any at this time."

    "Well they are here in my front yard, eating my shrubs!" she said, sounding peeved.

    "How many pigs?"

    "Two. Big ones!"

    "How big?"

    "As big as my dog!"

    She owns a Jack Russell Terrier. "You mean Lester?" I said.

    "No, the other dog!"

    "I didn't know you had another dog." I still hadn't woken up completely.

    "Well come get them!" she said. "They're eating my rhododendron!"

    "Your dogs?"

    "No, the pigs!"

    "Oh, right." I hung up the phone, and went back into the bedroom and started to pull on some sweats.

    "Who was that?" my wife mumbled.

    "Annie Smith. She wants me to come get the pigs out of her bushes."

    "What?" Connie said. "We don't have any pigs!"

    "I know."

    "Then why are you going to get them?"

    "Uh..." That was a very good question, one that I was wishing that I had thought to ask Annie before I hung up. "...I dunno." Connie rolled her eyes and went back to sleep as I grabbed my keys and shuffled out the door.

    I hooked up the horse trailer and drove to Annie's house. She was out in the front yard waving a stick at two little, pink, hundred-pound shoats.

    I got out of the truck. "Morning, Annie!"

    "Glad you could make it! These pigs have already eaten most of my leftover casserole from dinner last night!"

    "I guess they like your cooking. Where are your boys?" Annie has two teenaged sons living at home.

    "Upstairs asleep." Annie said.

    "Why don't you get them to come help us catch these guys?"

    "It's spring break. They're tired."

    So was I. Only I don't get spring break anymore. I grabbed a stale chocolate doughnut off the floorboard of the farm truck and walked toward the shoats, who were still eyeing Annie's casserole dish. When they turned toward me, one of them saw the doughnut and came right over to me. I guess he liked Chocolate. I gave him the doughnut, then grabbed his big, floppy ear and led him, wiggling and screaming like a naughty schoolkid over to the truck, and put him inside. Only after I got the door shut did I stop the wiggling and screaming.

    Then I went back to get the other one. But there was one problem, it didn't like Chocolate doughnuts.

    Annie wasn't about to sacrifice any more of her casserole to the cause, so I dug around in my truck some more and came out with...a sweet potato pie. I'm not making this up. Exactly how the sweet potato pie ended up in my truck is another story all by itself, but I won't go into it now.

    Anyway, the second pig only looked vaguely interested as I waved the pie at it. I tried getting closer, but it was more skittish than the first pig had been, and darted away. This went on for about fifteen minutes, with me following it around with the sweet potato pie, and it running from me every time I got close.

    I was starting to get irritated. “That’s it.” I said. I was going to catch this dumb pig. “I’m done fooling around.” I set the pie on the floor of the open trailer, and took off after the pig at a dead run. Now I’m not in bad shape, and I’ve never known a pig that finished a marathon, (I’ve done a couple) so I figured that if I chased him long enough, I’d be able to wear him down. By now it was about seven o’clock, and the neighbors were starting to come by on their way to work. They were greeted by the sight of me, running full tilt around a small hayfield after a rather small, but incredibly fast pink pig. This went on for, I think, four hours. Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that long, but it seemed like it. Finally, I was bent over double in the middle of the street, heaving like a hyperventilating hippopotamus (say that ten times fast) and the pig was wandering around contentedly, none the worse for wear. While I was busy trying to get enough oxygen to my brain to restore my vision without yacking up my spleen, the pig, apparently drawn by the sweet potato pie, nonchalantly climbed up into the trailer, and started snacking.

    Annie walked over and closed the gate on the trailer. “Good goin!” she said.

    I nodded and waved weakly as I hobbled over to the truck. “No (GASP!) Problem. (HEAVE!) Any (PANT!) time. (WHEEZE!)”

    I called around later once I’d recovered and tried to figure out whose pigs they were. No one knew of anyone who’d lost them.

    Strangely enough, I’m still missing two goats from the day last month when my son “liberated” four of ours. Perhaps someone found them, and didn’t have room to keep them, so they had to let a few pigs go?

    Anyone know who to contact about a lost pig? I don’t think the local humane society would know what to do with them, since we live in a fairly suburban area near Washington, DC. Plus, I’m afraid that I might get in trouble for feeding them junk food.
     
  11. cowgirlone

    cowgirlone Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,382
    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Location:
    colorado
    haha: :haha: :haha: Good one Chuck!


    The most memorable encounter for ME was...........
    Late one night......or early one morning I decided to share the Leonid meteor shower with my 12 yr old daughter.
    After crawling out of warm beds with sleep in our eyes, we perched on the sofa under the huge picture window in the living room facing the southern sky, awaiting the show of a lifetime. Hot cocoa in hand, warm blankets wrapped around our chilled bodies...

    I knew we could see the shower better in the east, BUT the show was still awesome facing the south. AND it sure was warmer watching from the big picture window in the house than the chilly yard outside.

    Wrapped in our blankets, hot cocoa in hand we OOOHed and AWWWed as the meteors shot past our house, ranging from white to bluegreen. Such an amazing show of colors in the early morning sky.

    We were so engrossed in the hot cocoa, the warm blankets, the sharing of the beautiful light show before us, when..... my DD thought she saw something walk past the window.
    I didn't see anything....but again I'm not really sure I'm awake, hey it's 3AM!!

    Sure enough there goes another "thing" past the window......
    For you pig folk, they weren't meteors or aliens......they were 400lb sows!

    Two of our sows decided to watch the meteor shower from the same vantage point as we were!

    To make a long story short.......We ended up on the front porch, feeding the girls cereal and chips until the break of daylight .................It was a lovely morning, OOOHing, AWWIng and SNORTing together. (I'm sure they enjoyed it as much as we did). :D


    Another time......I can't even talk about it yet...........lots of people, tents and RVs in the yard, huge hogs running wild, camcorders going.................I still can't talk about it yet.. To some it was amusing....maybe next year I'll be able to talk about it :eek: