Homesteading Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,443 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know she means well. She probably gets very bored over their in her house all alone. And is probably the reason why she does things she does. She's a elderly lady probably up in her upper 60's. But some time she really gets on our nerves.

She's always coming over to chat which is alright but sometimes she wants advice of what she should do with certain private situations with her daughter and grandkids. Things that shouldn't be any of our business nor anyone elses outside of her family.

Then there are times that she come over and knock on the door and maybe for some reason the t.v. is blarring too loud, or everyone is in their bedroom, or back in the kitchen, and we don't hear her knocking. So she walks around to the back of the house and starts knocking on the back door and if no one answers yet she might just open the door, step inside and start yelling for us. We never go to anyones back door or step inside if they don't answer the door.

About a year and a half ago we got a new mail carrier. Who kept getting everybody's mail mixed up. Some of my mail would end up in her box and some of hers in our mail box. At first we would sort the others mail out of our own and just stick it in each others mailbox. Well next thing we know she's looking through all our mail also and sorting it for us. Really the truth be known there's not really anything in our mailbox except for bills and credit card offers. But still we would like a little bit of privacy. Now she's gotten to the point of bringing our mail to us if she knows we're at home.

Knocks on the door, we open the door and she blurts out "Here's your mail", and hands it too us.

Don't want to turn her in, nor scold her for fear of hurting her feelings. She's a great neighbor to have around as her presents probably helps keep the daytime burglers away along with watching our place when we go on a weekend camping trip, etc.

:shrug:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,281 Posts
Keep the doors locked if you don't want her to walk in - just tell her it's due to the crime rate. Get a P. O. box and she can't sort through your mail.

Sounds like she's asking for advice because she values your input. Just help her think things through.

Any senior centers in your area that you can steer her towards?

BTW, at the age of 55 10/12, I've learned that you don't qualify as elderly until you are at least 70. When I reach 69, I'll let you know if that qualification has changed.
 

·
Accidental Farmer
Joined
·
14,837 Posts
At this point, 30 looks elderly! lol.....I'm scared of that birthday and its coming up fast!!

the poor lady is probebly lonely. She's likely looking for friends. I would be frank with her and tell her that your family is more introverted. That you enjoy her company but in smaller doses. Had to do that with a neighbor here. I love the neighbor, but! I felt drained because it seemed when ever I had free time she had to be involved and I nee alone time to de-stress.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,652 Posts
I've had neighbors like this. They are lonely. I agree with the locking your doors though if you don't want her invading your privacy, but to me, the rest of what you posted doesn't really sound that bad. I guess I think of neighbors like that as family, and it seems she may view your family that way. I only hope that when I'm older and alone that I will have neighbors that are compassionate and invite me to share at least a small part of their lives with them.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
26,565 Posts
She sounds like she's just lonely. But I would complain at the post office that the carrier keeps getting the mail mixed up, that should NOT be allowed!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,058 Posts
She sounds like she's just lonely. But I would complain at the post office that the carrier keeps getting the mail mixed up, that should NOT be allowed!
Ditto and lock the door.

At this point, 30 looks elderly! lol.....I'm scared of that birthday and its coming up fast!!
Oh my you are young trust me.I miss 30.:Bawling:I even miss 40.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,019 Posts
Hey, Madame, Change your mind LOL. I'll be 72 next July--elderly is anyone at least 10 years older than you are at the time.
I have the opposite problem, everyone that "stops by" expects me to go with them, wherever that might be.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,281 Posts
Hey, Madame, Change your mind LOL. I'll be 72 next July--elderly is anyone at least 10 years older than you are at the time.
Works for me!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,726 Posts
elderly is anyone at least 10 years older than you are at the time.
Or 10 years older than your spouse. Someone called my dh elderly & I couldn't picture him that way. Now 80 - that's elderly. For now. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
496 Posts
I like the thoughts about talking about snakes. If she seems enthused about snakes (I will be that old lady) then tell them they're too crabby right before they eat. It might even be worth borrowing a snake for that one!

More nudity! Or when you see her, take your clothes off and put on a sheet and then go to the door! Heh. Or if she's not actually walking in, holler about having to put your clothes on, just a minute! and then take 3 minutes.

I favor the weird alternatives, obviously. Sure she's lonely, but you have to have boundaries, sounds like.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
496 Posts
... At first we would sort the others mail out of our own and just stick it in each others mailbox. Well next thing we know she's looking through all our mail also and sorting it for us. Really the truth be known there's not really anything in our mailbox except for bills and credit card offers. But still we would like a little bit of privacy.

Don't want to turn her in, nor scold her for fear of hurting her feelings. She's a great neighbor to have around as her presents probably helps keep the daytime burglers away along with watching our place when we go on a weekend camping trip, etc.

:shrug:
You might tell her oh, yaknow, just in case this happens with other neighbors, who don't appreciate you like we do, that going into our mailbox and sorting our mail is *technically* a federal offense. After the postman drops it off, we are the only ones allowed to touch it, unless we ask. UNLESS we ask!

Does she get hints? Some folks don't. Worth a try. :shrug:
 

·
Columnist, Feature Writer
Joined
·
4,568 Posts
I think you should be gentle and direct and maybe a little dishonest to pad the request. "Please don't walk in if we don't answer. You nearly caught me in my undies and neither of us wants THAT to happen." The post master should be made aware of the mail issue. That's not acceptable. Good luck! We had a neighbor like this until she did nearly walk in on me in my undies. After I screamed and startled her she waited for me to answer.
 

·
Country Girl
Joined
·
4,306 Posts
I had an elderly gentleman neighbor like that for years. His wife had passed away and his only son lived over the mountains and he only saw him a couple times a year. He basically glommed on to us for a family and we enjoyed him! Oh yes, he did go thru our mail - even if it was already in the house sitting on the table - I think it was just habit as he would just shuffle thru it and then go on to something else. :) If we didn't answer the door, he walked on in and hollared. If we didn't WANT him to come in for some reason - we locked the door "just in case". :) He was wonderful to watch out place when we were gone, feed the critters, and always kept an eye on the neighborhood and yard when our boys were small. He was like their grandpa. Of course he was nosey :) and always gave his input on matters whether wanted or not :) but we just ignored it as we would our own elderly family members - LOL He was part of our family for about 25 years and we still talk about him and think of him often. I can see him in his overalls, headed across the road after dark with one of us on an arm helping him so that he didn't trip and fall, to get some homemade donuts and lively conversation. Then we would help him back across the road to his back door. I hope someone will take ME under their wing when I am old (er) LOL
 

·
Always Thinking
Joined
·
3,296 Posts
I had an elderly gentleman neighbor like that for years. His wife had passed away and his only son lived over the mountains and he only saw him a couple times a year. He basically glommed on to us for a family and we enjoyed him! Oh yes, he did go thru our mail - even if it was already in the house sitting on the table - I think it was just habit as he would just shuffle thru it and then go on to something else. :) If we didn't answer the door, he walked on in and hollared. If we didn't WANT him to come in for some reason - we locked the door "just in case". :) He was wonderful to watch out place when we were gone, feed the critters, and always kept an eye on the neighborhood and yard when our boys were small. He was like their grandpa. Of course he was nosey :) and always gave his input on matters whether wanted or not :) but we just ignored it as we would our own elderly family members - LOL He was part of our family for about 25 years and we still talk about him and think of him often. I can see him in his overalls, headed across the road after dark with one of us on an arm helping him so that he didn't trip and fall, to get some homemade donuts and lively conversation. Then we would help him back across the road to his back door. I hope someone will take ME under their wing when I am old (er) LOL
Me too. What a lovely story.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
16,652 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,464 Posts
It sounds like you moved from up north to down south. If so, that's just the way us southerners are. Get used to it.

At my house, you are company the first visit...We will get it for you.

After that, you are family, get it yourself.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,443 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Well I don't want to turn her in. Like I said she's a big help when it comes to having an extra pair of eyes on the place and she probably feels a lot more secure having me around. Even out here in the country it's not always safe to be alone. She has lived across the road from me for about 15 years now. About a year after moving in her husband died and she's been all alone ever since. She has one daughter who only comes around when she needs money.

So I don't want to cause any hard feelings. I guess I just needed to rant about the mail thing. One of these days she may no longer be there and I may have worse people for neighbors. Thanks everyone for your input.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top