Homesteading Forum banner
5181 - 5200 of 5252 Posts

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
  • Like
Reactions: Danaus29

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: alida and Danaus29

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
Jeans Dog Happy Carnivore Dog breed
 

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
Food Natural foods Ingredient Liquid Fruit
 

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
Okay, just one more for today.

I hope this makes many people smile. It just tickled me sideways. :)

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,363 Posts

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed.

The bartender asks them what their troubles are.

The Cowboy takes a shot, then says “my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck tanker carrying gasoline.

Caused a huge explosion and blew my poor horse to bits.

” The spider nods sympathetically. “I just lost my husband in that same fire.

The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby.

” The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.

The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said “My whole family was on that truck.”
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,363 Posts
A pilgrim was seeking enlightenment

He was told to climb a mountain somewhere in Tibet.

As the pilgrim climbed the mountain for half a day, he came across a sage with a beard this

long and a sword this <-----> big with a fly buzzing around his head.

"What is the true path to happiness?" asked the pilgrim.

Before anyone could take breath, the sage unsheathed his sword and cut the fly in half, then said

"Speed and accuracy"

"Wow, that's amazing!" Said the pilgrim, "but I'm looking for the secret to true happiness"

"Climb that path" said the sage.

So the pilgrim climbed the path for a full day, and met a sage with a beard this

long and a sword <-----> this big and a fly buzzing around his head.

"What is the true path to happiness?" asked the pilgrim.

Before anyone could blink, the sage unsheathed his sword, and cut the fly into quarters

"Speed and accuracy" said the sage.

"Wow, that's amazing!"

Said the pilgrim, "But I'm looking for the secret to true happiness"

"Climb that path" said the sage.

After two full days of hiking, the pilgrim came upon a sage with a beard this

long and a sword this <-----> long.

"What is the true path to happiness?" asked the pilgrim.

Before anyone could think, the sage unsheathed his sword and swiped at the fly, which kept swarming around.

"Speed and accuracy" said the sage.

"Wow!"

Said the pilgrim

"... that's not very impressive"

"Ah," replied the sage, "that fly will never be a father"
 
  • Like
Reactions: Redlands Okie

·
STILL not Alice
Joined
·
20,729 Posts
Hair Head Hairstyle Photograph Facial expression
 
  • Like
Reactions: mzgarden
5181 - 5200 of 5252 Posts
Top