a blond and her husband were lying in bed.
Neither could get to sleep because the next door neighbor's dog would not stop barking.
finally she had had it.
she got out of bed and went outside.
in a few minutes she was back. there, that ought to do it..
the husband said , what did you do? I can still hear it..
she said, I moved the dog into OUR yard.
Now let's see how THEY like it..
The church was holding a wedding seminar, and tnhe preacher asked Luigi, as his 50th wedding anniversary approached, to share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Luigi replied to his audience, "Well, I tried to treat her well and spend money on her. But the best thing I did was take her to Italy for our 20th anniversary."
The Priest said "Luigi, you are an inspiration to all husbands here today. Please tell the audience what you plan for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied "I'm gonna go and get her."
the not too bright farmer was talking to his neighbor.
he said, I can't tell my horses apart..
the neighbor said, why don't you measure them?
so he did, and sure enough the white one was 5 inches taller than the black one..
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I
can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2
hours.' The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked,
'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.' The guy left.
A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How
long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a
half.’ The guy left.
The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob , do me a favor
follow him and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!
A blind guy is setting in a bar and yells out, "Hey, does anyone want to hear a Blond joke?"
The bartender tells him that he is surrounded by really tough guys who are all blond, one is an Army Ranger, one is a Navy Seal, 2 are Professional Wrestlers, and one in a State Trooper. He asks the blind guy are you sure you want to tell a "Blond Joke" ? The blind guy yells back, Nope, not if I am going to have to explain it 5 times.
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