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What kind of Mother-in-law do you have? I hear all the horror stories, but I never had to endure the MIL from "you know where".... mine was great. She was my friend, my "partner in crime", and my second Mother. She had a huge heart, a kind and generous spirit, and a sense of humor that wouldn't quit. I admired her. She passed away very unexpectedly just over two weeks ago, and I miss her.

For Mother's Day, I made her this "stick and stump" garden (we don't have rocks here!). It is at the edge of our lawn where we will build our new house. She loved the view you see in the picture. I have since planted 2 trees there, a flowering dogwood on the east, and a dwarf apple on the west. We have her name sign that was on her house, and I am going to mount that on a post by the garden.



Kitty
 

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I am sorry that you lost you friend and dear mil. I only wish that mine was more like yours. We are the very opposite of each other. When we first got married, things were very cold between us. She made no effort to help me feel welcome and even told others that she could not stand me.. She is not a warm person. She would never hug her children and I have NEVER heard her say 'I love you' to anyone--Not her husband, children or grandkids! She thinks holding hands (or any kind of affection) is stupid! I say I love you to my dh, children and g'kids all the time. I hug them when I first see them and when they leave. Dh kisses me goodbye, if he is just going to the groc. store.. He calls a doz. times a day when he is away 'just to say I love you'.

She has never, ever cleaned house --nothing at all! She waits for her daughters to do it and makes no bones that it's their jobs.. I used to help but I find it revolting to clean up after someone who will not even flush to toliet or wash the kitchen sink out and refuse to do it!

I have been told (by her sisters, neices, friends)that She talks/gossips about me. I think she takes advantage of dh..because we built a house for her to live in for the rest of her life and she has let her lazy daughter and her adult family and her (druggie)grandson (who threatened to 'blow my dh's head off) move in w/ her and we were paying her insurance, phone bill, electric and providing her with meat, veggies and fruit from our farm and if anything broke, torn up or the grass needed mowing she called dh to come and make it right and /or pay to have it fixed! We gave her a car and she let her g'son borrow it and of course he wrecked it and then she called dh and wanted him to fix it! It's caused lots of hard feelings over the yrs.. We still do many things and give her money when she needs it and will always will --I guess!

She was also very jealous of my dear father in law and me. We were close and loved each other as daughter and father. He was as you said your mil was.. He was happy, funny, caring, loving to everyone! He has been dead 23yrs and I still miss him every day!

Again, I am very sorry for your loss and hope you find peace and comfort at your/her special stump/post garden spot! QB
 

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...........Well the meanest woman I know, she must have been sent from below, mother in law........
 

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I'm sorry for your loss, I love my MIL she is the bravest, strongest woman I know!! She's going through chemo right now and she's being so positive, and strong.
I wish everyone had a good relationship with there MIL's.
 

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I love my MIL. She has always made me feel welcome and loves me as if I were her own daughter. She is great with my children and does not interfere with how we raise our children. She loves to have the children overnight (we used to be 2 minutes away and now we are 1.25 hours apart) and we encourage a great relationship between her and our children. My DH grew up never being hugged by his mom, but I hug her and love her as if she were my own mother and she really appreciates it. She is much more affectionate now than she ever was with her children growing up, as my family is very "huggy". I lost my own mother to cancer when our first son was 10 days old, so I don't have anyone else. Goodness, how can you not love someone who picks currants, blackberries, etc. to put in your freezer for your family and does want anything in return.
 

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My MIL is a good woman and I love her dearly. We do not agree on everything and if I disagree with her I let her know in the kindest way I can. She is 82 years old (will be 83 in September) and she is changing. I can see it each time I am around her. I don't know if it is the age or there is something else going on. She has made some comments lately that really hurt my hubby. He has always done any/every thing he can to help her. She said the other day that her oven isn't working and there isn't anyone around that had sense enough to fix it. Hubby is the last to work on it and we both thought there was no more problem with it. It stunned hubby when she made that comment. I think she remembered that he was the last to work on her stove because she came back and said that the thermostat isn't working. We live almost 70 miles from her but she won't get anyone to come out and fix it. LOL She does depend on hubby more than she should. But she hasn't told him before last Friday that she was having problems with the oven either.

But if I live to be 82 there isn't much telling what I might say. LOL Like I said I love her dearly but hope I never have to live with her. And I know that I could never live my husband's mother-in-law.

I am sorry for your pain. I hope you can find comfort in the love the two of you shared.

Jan
 

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I am very sorry for the loss of you dear MIL....

I too have a GREAT relationship with mine..... We talk on the phone for hours almost everyday, and we live only 10 miles apart (if that)..... I take care of her checkbook, and budget..... When I go to the store I usually try to call and see if theres anything she needs..... She taught me to can & garden.....

We do have our diffrences...... I have tattoos and body piercings..... I love them, she hates them.....

But for the most part we get along awesome..... I wish everyone could the same relationship with their MIL....
 

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Sorry to hear of the loss of your MIL.
My mother passed away two years ago, and I am fortunate to say that my MIL is an absolute joy!! I love her with all my heart. She is indeed a wonderful blessing!
 

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Had I married my 1st love, I would have had a MIL like yours. I met her in 1971; I was a difficult 17 year old. I called her in 2001 expecting that she would reject me; she didn't. Jean remembered me fondly and she still cared about me 34 years later! For 45 minutes I tried to be "adult" but when she compared me to her granddaughter--both of us are "chargers" and related stories of times she worried about me (I was 500 miles away from my Mom at college) I couldn't stop blubbering. She loved me then! She does still I know! (Visiting with her and David in 2004 was so natural; how I miss her!)

The MIL I "got" is a female dog or my response belongs on the "oinker" forum. You cannot make a silk purse out of a sow's ear--after 26 years, I finally know that.

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm in touch with my other mom's son; when she passes I will mourn her as much as I have my real mom's passing for the past 2 1/2 years. Jean is a remarkable woman!

You were blessed to know such a special woman.
 

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Got lucky - both my MIL's were/are just like my Mom was...Also got lucky in the FIL department....
 

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My mother in law is a cross between the witch from the wizard of Oz and the church lady from saturday night live.

Need I say more?
 

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To be honest, my MIL and I never saw eye to eye on anything - we were very different women. She drove me nuts at times, and I'm sure I returned the favor. That said... she loved her son, and she loved me, and she always tried her darndest to do right by us. And we did the same for her. That's all you can ask of anybody, I think.

She past on last October, and I miss her every day. She had one of the strongest personalities I've ever run across, and I'll always admire her for it. Her ashes are buried on our property with a flowering dogwood above them, situated so that she can keep an eye on the llamas and goats. She loved the goats.
 

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My Late MIL and I had our problems from time to time But all in all we were very close. We liked a lot of the same things. She suffered from depression and as strong of a woman as she was, eventually took her own life. I still miss her very much and think of her every day. I was closer to her than I was my own mother or my step mother.
 

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:) Oh, what an awesome thread! I was just thinking of my MIL, as her birthday is Friday (she shares her birthday w/ my awesome Pop!) ! I truly lucked out w/ her as my MIL, for sure. She is the best; kind,hilarious,genuine,loving,considerate,interesting,loyal,funny,devoted... she is the type of person who you would go to first w/ either a funny story of daily life, or for advice on a personal problem. She tries darn hard not to be judemental, but is always true to herself when giving her opinion & advice. She would go out on the longest limb for her loved ones,and makes it known that she will always be there for her family. She is always there for a shoulder, or to be a sounding board for me when her son is driving me crazy! She knows when to offer advice or council,or when to just let me rant & complain about life w/ her son & grandkids, a silent shoulder, much appriciated.
Recently,I found out what her true character was ,when my newborn baby was hospitalized,she was there EVERY SINGLE DAY,regardless of how her work or personal life was comprimised, right there for my husband & I when we needed her the most. Her strength is a inspiration to me,considering what she has had to deal w/ in her personal life. I feel priviledged to call her a true friend, as well as a second Mom.

 

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I've had several MILs, and got on very well with all of them.

I'm a MIL myself, and get on well with my DIL. I think she's a sweetie.

I think MILs have a very unjustified poor reputation. It's DILs and SILs that can be the problem!
 

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My MIL and I started out as wonderful friends. We would go places and do things, just us two 'girls'. But as time went on, we both started to change in ways that were just too difficult to overcome for the both of us. As I was growing toward my faith, she was growing away from faith. As I was learning about God, she began to denigrate God. As I accepted Christ as my Savior, she said Christ was just a man and in reality married a whore. There were also other areas of disagreement--she became more and more promiscuous (MIL and FIL were divorced) and engaged in what I would not hesitate to call dangerous activities (as in would you get in a car and take a trip to another state with a man you had only known a few days?) She gossiped endlessly and started using really profane language and talking about profane topics. The gap just kept widening, and I kept trying to hold onto her because I had always loved her so deeply. And I suppose even though she's my ex MIL now, I do still love her, I also know I could not have continued to be around her. She just became too... mean.
 

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I had one of those awful ones sherecently passed away in April and to tell the truth I didn't go to her funeral. Neither did our kids. We had lost my Dad only 4 months before and my FIL 3 months bafore that so the kids were emotionally wiped from funerals and they weren't that close to her. She was not nice to any of my children but the eldestand even she did not want to go. So hubby had to go alone and even he didn't want to! His sisters were ranting about how she wa sa great mom and he told them off saying you don't remember the beatings and psychological torture? He wasn't happy with them at all. I only know I sure don't want to be that kind of MIL!
 

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I can honestly say my MIL is the sweetest gentlest person next to my own mother. and she passed that gentleness on to her son. she is 96 now and as active as ever. whenever the church people go on their outings she's there. she still knits a sock a day. I don't see her anymore but always keep in touch.
Georgia.
 

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Just yesterday, we received telephone calls from husband's sisters letting us know their mother had had a heart attack, and was going in to have surgery. Husband, headed down that way (500 miles) as soon as he could. One of my sisters-in-law, called me after Mom got out of surgery to let me know it had gone well, and that she would be in ICU for a day or two but they would keep me posted.

We've always lived 500 miles apart, and other then phone conversations I haven't had the opportunity to spend much time with her. We do have great phone conversations and the time I did get to go meet her in person was a wonderful.

HomesteadBaker - sorry for your family's loss. The garden is lovely, now a memorial to your mamma-in-law.


Kstornado11 that is a beautiful tribute to your's -- she is beautiful on the outside as well as the inside. Is that one of your children she is holding? Adorable picture.


cjb - well, yes you do need to say more - as there are two witches in the Wizard of Oz :) Is your mother-in-law like the one in the pretty pink outfit or the one who's last words are "I'm melting...I'm melltttinnnggg" ? :)

Like my own mother use to say..."You get to pick you friends, family you're just sorta stuck with."

Hugs,
Marlene
 

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newfieannie said:
Ishe is 96 now and as active as ever. whenever the church people go on their outings she's there. she still knits a sock a day.
96 years old...that's a lot of socks!
 
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