List of things you might need IF---

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Queen Bee, Dec 30, 2006.

  1. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    6,735
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2004
    Location:
    NC
    You had four children, w/ only one income and your spouse was in the hosp. because he totalled you van.
    We know this young lady. She had two children and married a man w/ four children (two of his live w/ them). He hasn't paid child support, hasn't worked in 8 months, doesn't have a car and we aren't even sure his has insurance and a drivers lic. He 'borrows' her van to go to town (while she is a sleep) and ends up running a stop sign and getting 't-boned', has to air lifted to a larger hosp....She has nothing in the freezer, very, very little in the panty/refg and no money at all. She works 5--12hr. days a week.

    We have loads of food; everything including extra sugar, flour, cornmeal, butter, rice and potatoes but I am not sure she cooks from scratch. So, do I ask her --I would hate to waste the items IF it's not going to be used. She will also need diapers and formula for the baby-something I don't have.... Thanks for your lists...
     
  2. RachAnn in NW Okla

    RachAnn in NW Okla Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,795
    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2002
    is it possible for you to make a couple of meals for her?

    you could just ask if there is truely anything she needs...if they are hurting she should be humble enough to accept your offer.

    we seem to use a lot of
    milk (she prob will too if they have 4 children)
    hamburger
    eggs
    cheese
    potatoes (actually we use boxed flakes but if we didnt have any food and real ones were offered we would take them)
    butter/margerine
    pasta (macNcheese, Hamburger Helper, spaghetti, elbow mac)
    hotdogs (my son is very picky and this is a surefire way to get him to eat)
    ketchup
    crackers
    cereal (bagged such as cherrios)

    will be thinking of this thread---post more later
    Rachel
     

  3. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

    Messages:
    5,398
    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    Location:
    SW Missouri near Branson (Cape Fair)
    I'd just ask her what she needs and how you can help. NObody knows better than her.

    While you're at it. Buy her a copy of Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book "Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives". Sounds like she could use it.

    donsgal
     
  4. dk_40207

    dk_40207 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    741
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2005
    Location:
    Kentucky
    A ride to the division of families and childrens office. She can apply for foodstamps, wic for EACH child, and help w/ utilities etc.
     
  5. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    9,569
    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Location:
    CHINA

    the above mentioned and..

    whatever you cook...double and take it over in the large Glad sq. plastic tub...spaghetti w/ noodles
    baked beans
    boxed mac and cheese
    peanut butter/jelly and a couple loaves of bread
    cereal
    milk
     
  6. cowboyracer43

    cowboyracer43 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    96
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2006
    Make Shephard's Pie and take it to her at dinnertime. That is what people do when someone is in the hospital or disabled. Get two or three ladies from your church and share the burden. There are a ga-zillion filling and nutritious casserole dishes, and stove top casseroles, that are easy, very tasty, and which will be appreciated -- even by old grumpy curmudgeons like me.
     
  7. Ninn

    Ninn Custom Crochet Queen

    Messages:
    2,786
    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2006
    Location:
    Susquehanna, PA
    Just knock on the door and ask her. She may be unaware that there are still people out there that care for their neighbors. At this point, what she may need most is some daycare and a ride to the hopsital to see him. Contact your local catholic social services office for help with diapers and formula-they have great programs. Get together with other neighbors and take turns dropping off dinners. Tell her you cleaned out your pantry and came across some extras, can she use them? Help is hard to accept and harder to ask for. That may make it easier for her to accept.
     
  8. rkintn

    rkintn mean people suck

    Messages:
    2,336
    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2002
    Location:
    Back in NW TN
    I would definitely ask what she needs and probably cook some meals and take to her. I certainly hope that no one else was injured in the accident...if he was driving her car w/no lic and insurance she may have to come up with attorney's fees.
     
  9. Dutchie

    Dutchie Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    2,519
    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2003
    Location:
    Pawnee Nation, OK
    The name and number of a good divorce lawyer ......
     
  10. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

    Messages:
    5,398
    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    Location:
    SW Missouri near Branson (Cape Fair)
    Yep, more of our hard-earned taxes go bye-bye. Better yet. Take her to planned parenthood for some BIRTH CONTROL so at least she won't be bringing more children into a miserable situation.

    donsgal
     
  11. fransean

    fransean Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    717
    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2002
    Location:
    Michigan
    Have you checked with local churches to see who is running soup kitchens? My Mom has run a soup kitchen from her church for about 15 years and they not only give them a hot meal but send them home with groceries because they get so many donations.
    At least once a week Mom is at church putting together boxes of food staples to send home to a family in need - and I mean boxes! She also has access to the local food pantry and can get all kinds of things that are needed.
    Look in the phone book for your local food pantry.

    Bev
     
  12. sewsilly

    sewsilly Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,638
    Joined:
    May 16, 2004
    Location:
    sc
    Toilet paper, shampoo,soap,dish and clothing detergent.

    pb&J
    ramen noodles
    milk
    oatmeal
    canned spagetti and meatballs
    canned soup
    graham crackers
    saltines

    Ask her how she cooks and ask her what she does for child care while she works.
    Sounds like she will need transport until she rectifies the vehicle situation.
    Find someone who knows her and ask them, as sometimes, even when folks are down and out, they find it hard to ask for help.
     
  13. largentdepoche

    largentdepoche Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,750
    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2005
    Honestly it'd a big help driving her to appointments until they can get another vehicle. I've been without a car and it STUNK having to line up ways to get around.

    Toilet Paper and toothpaste, toiletries are always a good thing to have around.

    Kat
     
  14. busybee870

    busybee870 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,742
    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2006
    Location:
    NC Arkansas
    well most people wont ask for help, and are embarrassed when you approach them, i would get her some care packs , foods the kids may like , and regular things, that we always seem to need, but mostly food that will go far. Drop it off before she wakes in the morning or at night, ring the bell and run!!
    some people really have a hard time accepting this kind of thing, they already feel bad, she may too that her SO put her in this, dont mention names of donors, try to do it anonymously
    if you are close to her you can saythat some people heard about her plight and wanted to help, and since you knew her you thought it would be best if delivered it. you know
     
  15. Grandmotherbear

    Grandmotherbear Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    9,013
    Joined:
    May 14, 2002
    Location:
    Fl Zones 11
    One of our young nurses at Hospice, 2 babies, husband selfemployed and NO disability insurance-a car on I 95 lost a WHEEL and it bounced across the median and thru his windshield window, leaving him braindamaged and not expected to survive.
    We ran a food/essentials drive for her at work. She tried to turn down the gifts, but we explained that with all the firings and turmoil at work we had thought that the staff needed something to pull them selves together, and give them a feeling of teamwork and accomplishment, and everyone had been trying to put together what she would need most. She wound up with about a 3 month supply of TP, paper plates, laundry detergent and diapers, and a 2 month supply of canned goods, cereals, hams and turkeys and beans and rice. She said later she had been embarassed to accept it at the time, but later she was so grateful for everything.
    Husband not only suvived, he recovered MOSt lost ground and restarted his business 2 years later.
    The drive was one of my accomplishments for my Woodbadge (adult Scouting leadership training) ticket.
     
  16. midwsthomestead

    midwsthomestead joy seeker

    Messages:
    1,482
    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2005
    Location:
    central Indiana
    First of all, how nice of you to try and think of how you can help in her moment of extreme stress. Thank you for being such a kind person and not passing judgment but being willing to help.

    I second the fix meals and offer rides idea, if you can.

    She very well could be overwhelmed in trying to come up with meal ideas with the basics around, much less actually cooking them--stress does that to folks--so you may be right about staples being wasted. Could you fix a few meals that can be 'fridgerated or frozen, take a bag with crackers, peanut butter, bread, snacks etc...maybe even a couple new coloring books n crayons, yo-yos or cars for kidlet distraction. Anything new gets kids' attention for a bit and give mom a minute to breathe.

    ~~Hope the day is brighter tomorrow for her!
     
  17. ladycat

    ladycat Chicken Mafioso Staff Member

    Messages:
    26,715
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2005
    Location:
    N. TX/ S. OK
    Only if the children are under 5yo.
     
  18. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    6,735
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2004
    Location:
    NC
    1. She will never know where the food--care package came from--Her brother has offered to deliver it and pretend like it is from him and his wife. That way there will be no embarrassment--just a brother helphing his little sister!
    2. Her mom has an old junker that she can drive until she can get on her feet.
    3. The children's grandparents are taking the kids for a few days.

    I have beef stew, chicken, pork chops, homemade soups cooked and ready to warm. I have koolaid, peanut butter, home made bread and crackers for the kids. Milk, butter, sugar, cheese, mac-n-cheese, home canned veggies w/ directions, two plates of chocolates and cookies. And a gift card for diapers, formula and baby food.....

    Thanks for your suggestions Queen Bee....
     
  19. DocM

    DocM Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,314
    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2006
    Location:
    NW OR
  20. kitty32_z8

    kitty32_z8 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    703
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2003
    Poor gal. Too many people here are condeming her it's a shame. We are individual people and Should NOT be put down for the others actions. Just cause the man went through a stop sign does not mean he was bad. I lost a brother in-law due to brake failure and having the samething happen to him. Good people make poor choices all the time.
    She may unfortunatly loose her liscence to drive. In this state if your name is the owner of the car and the driver was uninsured or not liscenced and had an accident YOU are held liable.
    Another idea is gift cards for gas.If no laundry facilities maybe a ride to laundry mat.
    It is nice of you to not hold judgement and help out in this needed time!