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I'm a MIL, GMIL--etc. so--lets state OUR side.I'm 70, DH 68, brain cancer and alz. Son moved 1/4 mile away "to help us". He's been married 3 years, she has 2 children.I feel like I have welcomed them into the family, I never call and bother them, but I'm available when they ask to babysit, or dogsit, as the case may be.I definetly DONT stick my nose in their business, as I had a MIL like that.
This last spring, as money is short at our house, I decided to grow
and sell excess produce, and I started plants to do it. I needed spoiled hay, to help with mulch, and was given 8 big bales, which the gentleman would load for me. I borrowed SIL truck, and trailer, and I have tractor to unload. Only problem--I cant pull a trailer.So-I asked son if he would haul it for me--2 hours driving, tops.You'd thought I'd asked for the moon. I got a letter from DIL, saying they needed time alone for their marriage, they had to worry about their own garden, and how she had tried hard to be a friend to me--etc, etc. Sorry?? I had thought WE were friends--and if you have to TRY HARD to be a friend to me--then I dont need that kind of friends! Yes, its caused a big rift, that I dont think CAN be healed, because 1= we almost never asked anything of them, perhaps pick up something, if i needed it from town, not more than once a month-and I had the money, 2=I had thought we got along fine, I didnt know she resented us so bad #, we definetly would never ask for help Of any kind, ever again.
aNY OTHER mil's out there, that try--and cant get along with DIL's? cant be just me.
 

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I have 2 daughter in laws. One is my polar opposite, she's organized, a great housekeeper, a size 0, etc. We get along great. She calls me her second mama. :)
My second dil, is just like me. Several people have mentioned the physical resemblance we have. It's uncanny! We not only look alike, but share many of the same interests. We get along great, too.
I have 2 college age dsons, who still live at home. I hope they choose wives as carefully as their older brothers. :) It's great having daughter in laws, they're my kids, same as my sons and I didn't have to go through adolescence with them. ;)
 

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I couldn't pass up this post! I have been blessed with 3 of the most wonderful daughters in law. They are all completely different from each other and me, but we get along great and I love them like my own flesh and blood. They are each the mother of 2 and they are dedicated, loving, hardworking mothers and wives. I am the most blessed of women to have them in my family.
 

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I am not a MIL yet, but I figure I will be in the next year or so. I love Kadia's fiance, Melvin. He is very kind, hard-working, enjoyable to be around and he really looks up to me and Cale. Kadia said he thinks we are the smartest people he has ever met!!! Hopefully he will always be close to us. We try to talk things out and keep it real.
 

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I have one DIL and three SILs. The boys and I do fine. No problems. I try to keep my nose out of their business and they do the same. They always give me a hug when they come in and one when they leave. They don't hang up the phone or leave without saying they love me. The DIL despises everything about my son's family. She hates me, his sisters, his grandmother, his aunts and cousins. We as a family accepted her when she married into our family, loved her and treated her with respect. However, she never failed to put us down any chance she had. She has cursed me calling everything but a human being. I still tried to have some semblance of a relationship with her but that ended when she waited until my son was deployed to Iraq then told me that she couldn't stand me and to never call her home again. I do call and did call because she had two teenage children (my precious grands) at home that needed some of their family there for them. The children had told my ex and their aunts that DIL threw dishes, pots and pans, cursed them and beat them down to the floor when she became angry with them. There was no way that I would not call to check on the grandchildren. If any of us are around her she will walk off and stay by herself. That is her choice. I at first thought I had been in the wrong and hurt her feelings but when a person treats the whole family the way she does then I have come to the conclusion she is the one with the major problems. I still love her and hope someday to have a relationship with her but I sure don't like the way she does. Her most used saying is "I am me take me or leave me but I'm not changing."

Our son comes to visit without her. He was here Christmas and Easter with the children. When he has a weekend that he can come down he does. There is less tension when he comes without her and it is sad to say he actually acts like he enjoys himself more.

southrngardngal-Jan
 

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I adore my DIL also. She is sweet, humble and a joy to be around. If DS had looked the world over, I don't believe he could have done any better. They are like two peas in a pod and enjoy doing all of the same things...together. They just returned from Thailand and Singapore. During Christmas they went to England, France and Ireland so we get to see the world through their eyes. They don't intend to have any children ever, which is okay because I'm not in a hurry to be a grandmother yet. DD is dating a military man so I may be a MIL again soon. He's a really good guy and even offers to help me clean the kitchen and wash the dishes! I am quite fond of him as well.
 

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I love my sil and his children. He is hard working, bright, funny and he seems to enjoy our family. He adores my dd and she loves him.. He has said that we treat his children and him better that his own father does. He came from a divorced family 'where there is always drama' (his words).

My dil is a joy, we love her. She 'puts up' with my son :) (who is a real clown) and has a quick wit just like others in our family. She is an only child (from divorced parents) who only sees her father once a yr--if she is lucky. She loves dh and makes a point to say so..

DS's girlfriend is great.. She is from a big family and loves the buzz of our family..

Oldest dd's boyfriend is fun and we enjoy his company..They haven't been dating too long.
 

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My ex-DIL & I never got along. She was married to my stepson, lived on our farm in a house where their rent to us did not even cover the expenses to own the house.

We started off on the wrong foot when she was pregnant (about 2 months after meeting stepson) & I offered to buy her a stroller from the consignment store that sells used baby things. Not to her high standards. A few weeks later, her mother rented a fire hall, invited about 100 guests & had the most ostentatious, greedy baby shower a person could imagine. Instead of individual, mailed thank you notes, her mother passed out a photocopied poem about how there were too many gifts to keep track of who gave what, but thank you for the gift. :rolleyes:

If I called their house, she wouldn't answer the phone. Once I stopped by with a baby blanket I had gotten & she would not get up to answer the door (I could see her) We were only invited to their house twice in almost 4 years, other than being invited to birthday parties along with about 100 other guests. If we invited them, they would arrive late or, on holidays, just stop by for a few minutes on the way to her relatives.

She was a high school cheerleading coach & held practice at their house one time, without asking if we minded, so we had about 20 cars racing in and out of our shared driveway. Keep in mind that we bought the farm 10 miles from anywhere, at the end of a 1/4 mile driveway to keep away from people. When I asked her not to have practice there anymore, I was once again an evil mean person.

As their daughter got to be a toddler, the kiddo would wander down to our house if we were outside, ans she was in the yard with her parents. They stopped letting her play outside, even though it was summer.

Last summer, I had a big blowout disagreement with her & they moved to her parents house the next day. Two weeks later, she kicked stepson out. Eventually, it came to light that he had lied & told her they owned that house, not that we were renting it to them for a discount. Not that thinking they owned the house excuses discourteous behavior, but it does maybe give a bit of a different perspective.

Our other son was married for 5 years to someone much less self absorbed & we always got along fine. I relly like his new wife too and we get along just fine.
 

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We love our new SIL. If we had hand picked a man for our daughter we could not have chosen better. He loves her and treats her with respect. He likes the fact that she is close to her family and encourages the close relationship. He has stopped by a few times to help in the garden, says he sees food from it in their freezer too, it's only right that he helps tend it. He & Daughter were here helping us pick green beans last weekend.

While talking one day before they married, I mentioned that I had always dreamed of having my children & their families living close. I never really got to know my grandparents and feel I missed out because of it. I also talked about how I love to see 3 generations of our family in church together. My family wasn't much on church going. I had never been in a church with my grandparents, to see my children sit in the pew beside Grandma & Grandpa (DH's parents) is so very precious to me.

Now they both attend the same church. Maybe someday it will be 4 generations in the same church.

He was a bit Leary about living close until he discovered we really respect boundaries. Now he enjoys it. He & Daughter discussed where to live and now they are looking for farmstead near ours.
He wants the grandchildren (when they come) to be close to us.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Don't get me wrong, I DO admire my DIL, she is the most organized person you ever saw, she has a list for everything, and follows it. She even organizes her groceries! Pays their bills on time, and son seems to adore her-- I'm just saying--you can be the best MIL you know how--and yet never know they really dont like you , till something comes up!! Then--to say, they have "tried" to be a friend to you??? I had thought we were....
 

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Just got back a couple weeks ago from a lake reunion w/DSs & DILs. While sitting around the campfire, both DILs raved about their wonderful MIL!!! I nearly cried. I know I don't meddle or ask any questions & I love them both like daughters, and I was sure they 'liked' me but I guess they really really like me! (does that sound like Sally Field getting an Oscar? :) )
 

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I have one DIL and one SIL. My DIL is the sweetest girl a mother could ever wish for her son. I love her and I love how happy she makes my son. She is thoughtful and good natured and works hard. He also got wonderful in laws. He is as loved and welcomed there as he is here.

Initially, I was not as enthusiastic about my SIL. He seemed cold and almost rude at times. However, as I have come to know him better I am realising that he is very uncomfortable around people he does not know well, and that shyness had a lot to do with his reluctance to visit, his lack of contribution to conversations (which around here can get rather er... er... uninhibited) and his apparent lack of emotion. While I doubt I will ever be able to share the closeness and camaraderie that I do with my DIL, I am finding that I love him more and more. He is a very hard worker, he always ensures that my daughter and the children are well cared for, he is always willing to help out with anything I need him to do.

I have been blessed with my children's choices in spouses.

Mary in OK
 

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My DIL is a good mother. Ask way to much of my son who works two jobs. A I can't do anything right. Sew dresses and shorts for the children. Thats about it. Part of why we moved 500 miles away is because of her. I have a Great MIL....
 
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