Joke

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by C@TFISH, Dec 5, 2004.

  1. C@TFISH

    C@TFISH smells like garlic

    Messages:
    42
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2004
    Location:
    The Lake
    THE WISE OLD FARMER


    A big city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural West Virginia

    He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

    As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going into retrieve it."

    The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."

    The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."

    The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in West Virginia. We settle small disagreements like this with the West

    Virginia Three Kick Rule."

    The lawyer asked, "What is the West Virginia Three Kick Rule?"

    The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up."

    The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

    The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the

    city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.

    The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn."


    The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up.
    You can have the duck.
     
  2. bgak47

    bgak47 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    936
    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2003
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    :haha: :haha: :worship: :haha:
     

  3. deberosa

    deberosa SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!

    Messages:
    569
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2003
    Location:
    Floyd County, VA
    Oh, I LOVE lawyer jokes - good one! :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  4. southerngurl

    southerngurl le person Supporter

    Messages:
    6,244
    Joined:
    May 11, 2003
    Location:
    Arkansas
    A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

    The lawyer, now some what agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his coworkers and friends. All to no avail.

    After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
     
  5. jerneeon

    jerneeon Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    487
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2004
    Location:
    Walla Walla, Washington
    Hahahah! :haha: