Its less than 40 minutes till daylight

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by moopups, Nov 27, 2006.

  1. moopups

    moopups In Remembrance

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    I was outside on that green plastic chair, a school bus went by with its bright white blinking strobe light, it appeared to be the artillery rounds coming in, 'walking the trenches' - as in VN), there was not any sound follow up, it took me a full 1/2 second to realize such was not the case. Too much of my life is based on what happened many years ago.

    I love the darkness, it allows me to not see others faces. Yes, I know I am a troubled soul, that is not the point. This morning there is fog, good. It allows me to hide a bit longer.

    My purpose in these words is to make you aware that I too am human, I also seek understanding. To often I see words here that only skirt the true meanings of the intentions of the words. When are we going to understand how to communicate? I am not a Messiah or gifted leader, I am only one whom seeks to understand.

    My main problem is that my fingers cannot keep up with my mind. If the Source had blessed me with that skill I would be able 'to save the world'. Possibly not, just my thoughts at this time. Apparently my message is not adequate in the Sources opinion.....
     
  2. Grandmotherbear

    Grandmotherbear Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Yes, the thick soft fog wraps around everything and softens the highway noises. Reminds me of a wet snowfall up north. Moo, you can;t save people against their wishes. All you can do is try to spark a spirit of enquiry.
    The buddhists feel that we are all where we need to be on the path to enlightenment. Some are further ahead then others, some are less evolved than others, but each is where they need to be at this time...You too, are where you need to be at this time. I hope the Christmas hoopla isn;t making you crash and burn. The idea that everyone else has a perfrct family and that I'm a personal failure because I don't...this is the first Thanksgiving in a long time I didn't run away to work to avoid Grandfatherbear's obnoxious family who keeps putting me down because I'm not a 50s woman, and I didn't have a major meltdown as for my own celebration because the menu or te family wasn't perfect. Even treated rather crassly by my dil and my son, we did get to see them (a little) and had a day with our grandchildren.
    Somewhere in earshot is a rooster crowing. He may be over in the low income neighborhood, or south and east to the migrant labor camps. The breeze entering the house seems to be cooler than it was at 430 when I was makng the bacon and eggs.
    The night blooming jasmine has retreated, sensing that it should be daylight here.
    It's time for me to go feed the shiners and bream off the dock..indirectly feeding the bass. All life feeds on life. We don't know what word we say, what action we do may feed a life that we never even know about...
     

  3. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Moopups, Is it others faces you wish not to see or do you wish for them not to see you? There are times when I wish to hide away from the real world. When things seem too harsh for any living soul to bear, but always I am able to find some goodness somewhere or a loving face on which to gaze. There is always a reason to go forward. Im sorry there are things left over deep in your mind and soul that you cannot erase. Things that rear there ugly head and torment you. How can any of us know how that is unless we were there? Find whatever peace you can friend and cling to it mightily. I hope this new day brings sunshine your way.
     
  4. ginnie5

    ginnie5 wife,mom,taxi driver,cook Supporter

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    hiding away from the real world........I think we're all guilty of that one. I know I am. It actually pains me to see cars go down thru this so called road in the middle of my property. When they holler or have blasting stereos or spin out where they have no business doing so it is even worse. This is my little retreat and they are invading it. My place to hide away from the ugliness that is out there. I used to be scared of the dark as a child...now its a friend.
     
  5. moopups

    moopups In Remembrance

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    Blufford, I do not understand the message or intentions of this post. Can you clarify?
     
  6. Melissa

    Melissa member

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    The pill is supposed to help you suppress bad memories.
     
  7. 2horses

    2horses I'm a silly filly!! Supporter

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    We've had a few mornings of fog here and I find myself craving the humidity. The dew collects and drips off the tree leaves, hits the metal roof of the barn, and makes me think for a brief moment that it may be raining - but it isn't. Then the sun rises a little higher and the fog is gone almost instantly. And I say goodbye once again to the blessed moisture.

    Pam :cool: <----------------- a native of the perpetually muggy Gulf Coast
     
  8. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

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    Moo - I can totally relate. I had just awakened from another nightmare this morning, looked at the clock, saw that I could go back to sleep, closed my eyes and was at a horrible traffic accident where an infant had gone through a windshield and been impaled onto a tree. Even when I jumped up I could not get my mind to let go (usually I am a bit more successful at this). Must have said something cause I woke my husband who somehow got my attention focused back on the "now" so I could just sit down and cry for a while. I just hate it when that happens! DH says if he can do something unusual and not related to what he thinks I am reliving then he can snap me out of it? This time he squirted water in my face! Yuck- but it worked. Now it is 0800 and I am slowly getting the shakes and nausea under control enough to be able to start my day over! Hang in there, the Lord is holding your had so you are never every alone. Sis
     
  9. blufford

    blufford Well-Known Member Supporter

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    When I read your post you made mention of the flashing lights on the school bus and while I know you have another psychiatric disorder called Asperger's Syndrome, I thought maybe you were have problems with post tramatic distress as a result of your service in Viet Nam.

    Last night 60 minutes had a segment about the people who have post tramatic distress problems. Some of the problems were recent, such as a subway driver who had just witnessed a person commit suicide by throwing themselfs in front of the Subway car that she was driving. Another person suffered many years ago when she was raped at the age of twelve by her doctor. Both of these people had post tramatic distress disorder and had problems functioning normally.

    Through research doctors found that adrenaline that occurs while under duress tends to make the memory more vivid and hard to forget.

    The researches used a common prescription drug called Propranolol to lessen the adrenalin and ease the memory. I take propranolol (Inderal) for high blood pressure and its a very common drug. They have found that in initial research that propranolol may alleviate some of the stress caused by both recent and old memories and help people live more normal lives.

    The video should explain further how that this works. I hope you find peace and send you my kindest regards. Blufford
     
  10. Grandmotherbear

    Grandmotherbear Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Blufford- I am going to mention propananol... inderal to my daughter. Her panic attacks (self described) have a a very painful thought content to them- per her- she refuses to tell me what- she may indeed have PTSD and not recognize it.