It's just sad and boring (...a mini rant)

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by Thumper/inOkla., Mar 12, 2005.

  1. Thumper/inOkla.

    Thumper/inOkla. Well-Known Member

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    Based on the name of this site, a person might think that this site is about learning and sharing info on living a homesteading lifestyle,

    but alas, it is getting harder and hard to find post that support that lifestyle, more and more are negitive on how it's too hard or too much $$$, not cost effective, (now,...thats a major consideration in my daily how to survive schedule :haha: ) why bother it cheaper at the store, call the vet, don't do it yourself, etc, etc, etc

    If someone wants to do something, please teach them how, the drawbacks are good info, but if you have nothing good to add, don't rain on the parade so much.

    It seems that the people who are really living/doing this way of life are having to justify how and why we do things. becuase there are so many people that don't agree with doing that way. (maybe because they are not educated on how to do it)

    I just don't understand why there are so many post by those who don't know how to do something well, and offer little more than it's 'too much work' or it would never work commercally. :(

    After reading several threads I feel like I am drowning in discouragement...... :waa:
     
  2. amelia

    amelia Well-Known Member

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    One of the best things about this site is that it is accommodating of a wide variety of lifestyles and styles of homesteading. Many of the members of this board do not have lifestyles that are "picture perfect" of the 1850s, but we're all moving in a common direction. We all face different challenges and limitations, and have varying tolerances and appetites for hardship. Consequently, to make a blanket statement to the effect that calling a vet is not an appropriately homestead-like thing to do strikes me as pretty narrow minded. The anesthesia I had for surgery last year wasn't very homestead-like either, but I don't feel particularly shamed about not insisting upon whiskey instead. In fact, I pumped up the old espresso machine this morning (my most essential "luxury item"), and don't feel particularly guilty about that either.

    It's pretty amazing that in the several years I've been frequenting this site, I don't think I can recall a time when someone was put down for not being a "real" homesteader. Let's face it: There's always going to be somebody who is more self-sufficient, more rugged, more rural, more [you name it] than you are. People who adhere to the values espoused by this board are becoming rarer and rarer. I hope that we do not become yet another "exclusive" club.
     

  3. moonwolf

    moonwolf Well-Known Member

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    Maybe it's SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) until the longer and warmer days ahead give a brighter outlook, well at least in conversation if not in action. :eek:
    Seriously though, I appreciate frank input on this site, both positive and negative aspects of our lifestyles. It's easy to point to an easier way of life away from the homestead, but the defining characteristic of people who make a go of the homestead lifestyle is in the organic and wholesome satisfaction of it.

    It's not easy also to NOT do a homesteading lifestyle when your work and family life might be tied up in stress of things maybe come on beyond our control. One day not long ago I tried to contact a distant relative to just chat about things.
    Their response for not keeping in touch was that they were 'overtaken by events'. Well, so much for city NON-homesteading and the 'convenient' lifestyle which most take for granted.

    I've gotten immeasurable help from gleaning info off this board and learning what might work, and what is not worth pursuing, or adjusting to different ways to make it worthwhile.
    Glib comments without really knowing are generally recognized on responses, and I take them with a grain of salt and move on to someone with better experience about it. I think that your assessment is partially correct when people can easily refer you to a website, which is appreciated, but I like to know out of the horses mouth a brief perspective of their experience or lead to discussion where others give in their participation. Most topics seem to move to general positive conclusion, and if not, there is a reason for it. That may be that further consideration on the subject is begging. That's a learning process, and I think this site is quite progressive IMHO.
    Thanks.

    Rich :)
     
  4. Mike in Ohio

    Mike in Ohio Well-Known Member

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    I'm with amelia and moonwolf. I guess I'd class myself as more of a farmer than a homesteader if you get down to brass tacks. I'm interested in avoiding high input farming so I pay attention to what various people are doing.

    I compare what people post with what I know, what other people I respect say and what I can figure out by watching.

    Mike
     
  5. dla

    dla Well-Known Member

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  6. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

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    Thumper, I was remarking to DH last week on the demographic change in the forums being quite similar to how years ago The Mother Earth News went from a harcore, DIY homestead magazine to a slick yuppie publication.

    He pointed out that my homesteading friends from 20-25 years ago, who birthed their children in a tipi while building their homes from their land, lived off-grid up a bumpy dirt road beyond the reach of fire trucks and ambulances, have long since hooked into the grid and aquired all the modern conveniences and have been swallowed up by the urban growth of the Hobby Farms. They either assimilated or moved farther out. Those that moved farther out are doing things easier than they did when they were young or they are hardshipping it again and going without computer and internet access. Even many of our former members are farther beyond the sidewalks than they were when they posted every day.

    He also pointed out that younger people going to the rural homestead lifestyle are townies like him with a townie mentality preferring a hybrid homestead or come from a commercial agricultural upbringing, both emphasize expediency, comfort and more available cash.

    Those of us who grew up in the rural old ways are few and far between. We who stayed rural always had less available cash than our city neighbors. We know from experience that neccessity is the mother of invention. Many people do not find the neccessity any more.
     
  7. Thumper/inOkla.

    Thumper/inOkla. Well-Known Member

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  8. Mudwoman

    Mudwoman Well-Known Member

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    My FIL is in his 80's and grew up in a homesteading family. His mother and father died in their 50's "worn out" as he puts it. He tells the stories of his life as he remembers it and is spending time writing them down for us. Life for a homesteading family was really, really, hard and he says that he would never want to go back to life like that.

    From mine and Dh's paradigm, we are trying to be as self sufficient as possible without breaking our bodies. We are in our 50's and Dh has some health problems that sometimes interferes with doing everything ourselves or with old fashioned elbow grease. Were it not for a nice wood splitter, we would not have firewood. Were it not for a nice chain saw, we would not have wood to split. I happen to like air conditioning when the temp here is 98 degrees and the humidity is also 98%. I could live without it if I had to, but I happen to like it. I also like hot running water. My dream does not include being "off grid".

    What you have to understand is that each person on here has their dream and they are doing all they can to live it or achieve it. No one has the same dream and not all dreams turn out like you envisioned them to begin with. The important thing is that each of us is on a journey of our own design that makes us feel happy. I don't want to go back to the 1800's. Doesn't mean that I don't want to have a garden and chickens and a small house with land and no debt.
     
  9. marvella

    marvella Well-Known Member

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    thumper- you may be sad and bored. like most things, we bring our fears and perceptions to bear on it. i find this place a wealth of info, on a wide variety of topics. i haven't found a topic yet, that someone, somewhere on this board, doesn't have some experience or insight. take a walk, play with a dog, go do something really nice for yourself. bet it makes you feel better.

    laura said: my homesteading friends from 20-25 years ago, who birthed their children in a tipi while building their homes from their land, lived off-grid up a bumpy dirt road beyond the reach of fire trucks and ambulances, have long since hooked into the grid and aquired all the modern conveniences

    LOL!! not all of us. when i had kids, i hooked back in, but now that they are gone, and i can choose to live this way, i am going back, little by little. got a good number of friends here that are still in the bus on their 40 ac., too.:) it was having kids that did a lot of folks in.
     
  10. Thumper/inOkla.

    Thumper/inOkla. Well-Known Member

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    Well maybe, where you are but here in central Okla, the sun is HOT the soil temps are above 50º it's getting too hot for the spinach and peas, and hubby and I both have suntans any northener would envy. (maybe even no tan line :eek: ) Being diagnoised over the internet is so much cheaper than going to a real Dr, thanks for all the money you have saved me today. :D



    That is something I can understand, I have around been here just about as long as anyone else, I moved over here from the old country side forum as soon as it was open, and those of us that are doing the real deal are getting lost in the in the over whelming barrage of those that don't aprove of how we do things.



    I agree that this site is a wonder, one of the reasons it is so wonderful is because part of the mind set of someone willing and eager to live this way, is that we don't give up easy, ... there are some of us that have been through many battles in life to get where we are, it isn't easy to go without, the the goal is worth it to us, we have seen patterns in the develpoment of this site and the one before, those of us that are 'hard core' know we are not living a way that most find accepable, and we feel marked, we can not speak freely anymore, we have to withdraw to email and pm's to be honest and truthfull about our way of life. Mostly because the city people that want to live in the country, want us to live by their rules, instead of learning ours, we are the minority, we get out voted and out posted.
     
  11. amelia

    amelia Well-Known Member

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    Thumper, please accept my apologies. It was not at all my intent to insult you. My comments, apparently ill-expressed as they were, were intended simply to convey a strong sentiment about how important I think it is to remain open-minded about the extremely varied styles and levels of homesteading that are represented by this board. Perhaps I was writing in too much of a hurry and was sloppy in the way I expressed myself. Anyway, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and would ask you to please forgive my ineptutide. ~Amelia
     
  12. Dreams30

    Dreams30 Lady Rider

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    Thumper, I think you have a very valid point.

    I ask a lot of questions here. Most are nice about answering them, but some want to tell me that I can't do a lot of things that I know that I can do.

    The second group of folks, I just overlook. I think "Hey, if they want to spend a fortune doing everything the hard way, that's their problem".

    I agree that it is discouraging sometimes. After awhile I laugh about it. I have spent most of my life doing things a little different and probably won't change now.

    Here's a big hug for you. ((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))
     
  13. homebirtha

    homebirtha Well-Known Member

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    I'll be honest. I have a hard time understaning your writings, so I'm asking you to clarify. Can you give some examples of "we are not living in a way that most find acceptable." I mean, are you practicing canabalism or something? What exactly isn't accepted here, 'cause I'm not seein' it.
     
  14. Dreams30

    Dreams30 Lady Rider

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    I have an idea....

    Why don't we start giving an award or something to the most helpful person on the boards every month.

    It could be voted on in a poll after nominations are taken. We can call it "The Thumper".

    Maybe let them have an extra tag line or something, maybe a points system.....wonder what Chuck would say or if something that would work?
     
  15. Thumper/inOkla.

    Thumper/inOkla. Well-Known Member

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    ah, Marvella, you misunderstand, I am NOT bored and sad with my life, ..
    what made you think that? Why point at me and suggest I have an emotional problem, instead of a valid point of discussion? (not just Marvella) this same "emotional" tag is tossed at people way too often.

    I think the mind set of the majority of posting on the site is sad and boring, With time, age and experince a person learn to see patterns in things, I get so many emails and pm's from people that don't want the hassle of open posting, and the backlash that comes with it. Is that really what this site is about?

    I am doing something nice for myself, and for all the other people that come to this site wanting the real deal on homesteading, I am standing up for us to say we don't like the negitive posting, stop telling us how it doesn't work! Tell us how it CAN work, yes warn us of the pit falls, but why do so many post on a thread just to say how they didn't like something or how it won't work out, maybe because they know everything there is to know about it. I enjoy hearing from the people that make it work, why come to a site to learn homesteading skills where so many post how it's too hard, it can't be done.

    Already it is started on this thread, people post to disagree or suggest
    that I am the one with the problem. There is assumption and judgement.
    I am addressed as narrow minded and there are the explanations of what others say homesteading is to them, out of context compairisons to the early days of our nation, ... as if I am out of line to be the way I am and be honest about the way I live and how I feel about the quailty of infomation shared here,....it is not as good as it used to be, it is not as much fun as it used to be.

    soomeone who is new here may not know there is better info in the archives, than is currently being shared. It used to be ok to not agree with the majority, it doesn't feel ok to do that anymore.
     
  16. caberjim

    caberjim Stableboy III

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    Thumper - you're mad because you feel that you're being "disrespected"? Do you realize how silly you sound claiming that you are old-school homesteading, one of the few and true, hardcore steadin' and we don't give you the props you deserve? That we should be on our knees thanking you for blessing us all for the tidbits of wisdom you have bestowed upon us from on high?

    I read your posts and fail to recall any of the slams and putdowns you claim have been leveled upon the few and hardcore homesteaders. I also don;t see where Amelia did that either.

    "we are not living a way that most find accepable, and we feel marked, we can not speak freely anymore, we have to withdraw to email and pm's to be honest and truthfull about our way of life." Sorry, I have not seen this. I have seen people asking a lot of questions about off-grid, livestock, etc, etc. Never have I seen city poeple posting that you should change and follow their rules.

    What is it that about yourself that makes you hardcore, true homesteading and the rest of us not? Certainly not a lack of computer technology. Is it off-grid living? Is it no outside job? No buying food at the grocery store? You have to have a certain number of acres or be so far from a big city? What do I need to be doing to gain membership in your elite club? Maybe I'm already doing it.

    What are you looking for? Everyone not in your league to leave? Maybe just those who do not live on 5 acres or more? A special icon next to your name signifying your elite standing? Your word and opinion to be held above all others? I suppose I may be reacting rather strongly and replying rather harshly, but I read your post and was miffed to say the least. Insulted and confused for sure. After all, you know little to nothing about me or my homestead either. I guess most people didn;t realize this site was just for those that meet your criteria. Again, if you post them, I will check my life against them to see if I should continue posting or move somewhere else.
     
  17. GoldenMom

    GoldenMom Well-Known Member

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    Wow, I'm pretty new here and up until now I've felt very welcome. Maybe I don't "truly" homestead like many people here, but I thought this site was more about an open sharing of ideas and thoughts than an instruction manual on "real" homesteading. I can almost guarantee that there are no two people on this board that "homestead" exactly the same way. Everyone has their own definition and their own must-have luxuries. Why can't we relate our own experiences and let the original poster decide what is right for their own situation. Since there appears to be lots of "wanna-be" homesteaders here, maybe some advice that a true homesteader scoffs at will make sense to the poster and is the right solution for that individual. BTW I love hearing the advice from "real" homesteaders and always store it away in my memory for a time when it may be useful, but that time may not be now. I am sorry for going on, but this thread kind of disturbed me. Most everybody here is on the same general path, we are just at different points on the path. And I for one like to hear from the "newbies/wanna-bes" and the "real homesteaders" alike.

    I also went back and read the thread dla suggested. Haggis, you are the most eloquent person I know of!

    Editted to add: Amen Caberjim!
     
  18. Dreams30

    Dreams30 Lady Rider

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    It looked to me like she was hoping for folks to try to be more positive and helpful.
     
  19. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I know what you mean. I'm fairly new here too and up until now I didn't realize I was butting in where I wasn't wanted. This thread disturbs me a great deal too. I just wish someone would tell me what a "real homesteader" is, although I already know I won't fit the category.

    :(
     
  20. Thumper/inOkla.

    Thumper/inOkla. Well-Known Member

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    Thank you! I will be happy to expound, your not seening it because it is not ok for us to be honest. Those of us that do our own vet work are often harassed, (and that is a very nice word for what it is really like)
    those that do not take the time to learn the skills post hot and heavy about how we are wrong to "do it ourselves" this kind of disrespect teaches we are "bad" to new people as if we are criminals, and laws are being pasted in many places to make these basic rights and skills illegal,

    I have a composting sawdust toilet, on threads where someone ask more about it, how does it work, there are the ones that feel compelled to post about how >" I don't have to c**p in a bucket"< and other neg comments as well, there have been remarks about Okla. is backward, because it is not illigal here,

    .... so many threads pick up a tone of competition. As if those of us off grid are better than those that aren't, or those that compost their waste, are putting down those that don't, and It dosen't come from those of us off grid and vetting our own animals and composting our waste. It comes from the ones that don't agree with what we are doing to make a life for ourselves, perhaps they don't mean it that way, but that IS what it comes across like.

    and before any starts with the "sure it's ok", "there are plenty of post about that stuff", There is alot more addressed off list than on. Most of my pm's and email from this site are from people that expect a war of words if they ask openly.

    It did not used to be like that.

    Well. I am out of sunlight and the batteries are low.........