Isolation a growing elder problem?

Discussion in 'Homesteading and Retirement' started by Micheal, Apr 22, 2017.

  1. 360Media

    360Media Member

    Nov 22, 2017
    Isolation is dangerous and deadly. I used to believe I just wanted to be a Lone Ranger. It took too long to understand and appreciate the value of community, which I had learned to distrust and disrespect. Boy was I wrong.

    Reach out and nourish/start relationships. Help somebody and forget about your troubles.
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  2. Clem

    Clem Realist

    Apr 11, 2016
    Everybody don't wear the same sized shoes.

    PS I am quite aware this is an old thread, but the new post is as worthy of answering as old ones were, in their time.
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  3. tiffanysgallery

    tiffanysgallery Zone 6b

    Jan 17, 2015
    Pennyroyal Plateau, where the wild mint grows
    I can give some input, although probably not helpful, but maybe interesting to some;

    I had a relative who started isolating herself at about the age of 80. She didn't want to go anywhere, she was her own boss, and she was going to have it her own way. It drove her son batty, to say the least. But, what he didn't know was she'd pay us kids to pick up things for her from the store, and then she'd hide it from him. She'd also order take-out to be delivered, shopped on TV, and talked on her telephone everyday for hours, even staying up all night to talk to someone who she said was a wrong number. When her son would visit her, which was often, he'd come in and ask if she'd been sitting all day in her chair, in which she replied, yes! And, so, he would be livid, thinking she was aging away in that darn chair, and saying it would be better for her to live with him and his wife, going places with them, and doing what he wanted. Long story short, she lived to be 95 yrs old, and I do believe she had the best time in her elderly years isolated in her home. And as for her son, she never let on how much she was getting into, for she wanted a different kind of relationship with him, knowing he'd never understand how she wanted to live her own life.

    I think the lesson I learned from her, is that you do all you can, and if you find a way to work it out, you do it, and after that you just don't worry about it, and if some just don't get it, well, that their problem.

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  4. Wolf mom

    Wolf mom Well-Known Member

    Mar 8, 2005
    Appalachian Foothills
    yes this is an old but important thread.

    Two months ago I went to the Dr as I also felt like I could sit in my chair all day - depression? No energy to do anything, even if I made up my mind I was going to do something today!!

    To make a long story short, after pushing my Dr. (2 different blood tests at different times, etc) I do have a thyroid issue. On meds and feel better.

    What I learned from this is that I do have to take things into my own hands and insist that there is something physically wrong - not "oh, you're just depressed"....
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  5. pointsevenout

    pointsevenout Well-Known Member

    Nov 28, 2017
    Roll Tide Country
    After reading through this topic, the majority opinion is that isolation is not a growing elder problem. I too agree with that assessment. I like being alone. Have done it all my life. Get away from me kid or I'll bean you with my cane!:) I treasure my solitude. If I want to be entertained, there are various outlets for me to choose from. Me to choose - not some young flatbelly do gooder that thinks I need supervision. I may be getting slow with age related infirmities but I can deal with it. I do what I want within my abilities. When I need help I will reach out for it.
  6. In The Woods

    In The Woods Well-Known Member

    Apr 27, 2017
    NW Penna
    Well said!
  7. Teej

    Teej Well-Known Member

    Jan 14, 2012
    Southern IN
    Well my mom is a social butterfly and us kids made her give up her car last week. That is so not going well but at 87, almost 88 it was long past time for her to quit driving. According to her she would have rather killed herself in a car crash than sit alone staring at 4 walls but her very next sentence in the conversation was that she was gaining weight from everybody either visiting and bringing her food or taking her out to eat. :rolleyes:
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  8. lmrose

    lmrose Well-Known Member

    Sep 23, 2009
    Southren Nova Scotia
    I also am aware this is an older thread and I found it while reading everything I missed when I was too blind to read! It is so wonderful to have eye sight again! I must say I agree with the above post. I look forward not backward because none of us can recover the years gone from our lives of the past. I have two "friends" I see occasionally but they are mostly one sided friendships. I call them once in awhile but they don't call me. I do have people I encounter and say Hi to if I go to a store or anywhere and they usually are more than willing to share what is going on in their lives as they too have no one to talk to. I and a few others have been attending a mental health class by invitation to help 2nd year students have an opportunity to talk to real life people who have dealt with mental issues either with themselves or with family members. I enjoy helping where I can and this is the third time in six years I have taken part. Still I have to force myself to get out and participate.

    Although we temporarily have an apartment in town I rarely
    see people other than the class mentioned which ends soon. My husband and I talk to each other and that is enough talking for me! I am an introvert and don't do well in crowds of people. My husband has friends who visit him and he gets along with everyone. Right now I am homesick for the country and can't wait until next Spring when we will be back on our land and at the cabin and getting our house trailer ready to live in. I miss our goat and look forward to her being with us April 1st. I miss the wild life and birds and solitude of nature. Although I must say I was surprised to see small herds of deer in Yarmouth town! They feed in back yards and seem to know to move into town during hunting season. There were also two young coyotes in the driveway one morning! I am most content with Bill and the critters and reading and writing. I just don't need a lot of social contact so can't see I would be lonely even by my self.
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  9. Alondra

    Alondra Member

    Dec 3, 2017
    I guess that as we get older by default we become isolated. Not because of choice but, the young have their families that they need to care for, work and other things.
    No much time to take a look around and see who may appreciate at least a “hi, how are you today?” “ may I be of any help?”....
    dsmythe and mnn2501 like this.