Homesteading Forum banner

1 - 20 of 54 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hello all,
It's been awhile since I was here and life has thrown me so many curve balls that I feel completely upside down. I was farming hogs and selling package meat with my ex fiance until this past April. We split, it was ugly, I bought a mobile home on a lot in town and left it all. Now my daughter and her husband (who is national guard and spends quite a bit of time deployed) have asked me to move in with them and help them with their cattle ranch and children, homeschool, etc...every MeMaw's dream right? I'm struggling with not having my own space. I have a temporary room set up in the unfinished basement, but haven't really moved out of my house yet and kind of argue with myself about staying here. They would be happy for me to build a tiny house behind their house if that would help me feel like I had my own space, and it would...I just know so little about that process and it seems overwhelming. I'm dying to get out of town again, and I love their farm, and the grandbabies. Am I being selfish for not wanting to stay in the basement and share a bathroom? What would y'all suggest? Maybe I'm just struggling with all of the life changes...I'm learning that these things are a lot different at 50 than they were at 20 or 30.
 

·
Sock puppet reinstated
Joined
·
23,787 Posts
A small house is a great idea. I would do that. I don't know much about the situation but would you still be able to work on your own or would their ranch be able to provide you with an income? Family and working together is always great but you need to have a future separate from them if the need arises.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,069 Posts
A small house for your own space sounds ideal. Would a temporary solution be a trailer in the spot where you would like to put a little house? That would put you there but give you separation?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,023 Posts
Build you a little spot of your own near their place, maybe not in the yard, but close. Enjoy life. Seth
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,051 Posts
Depending on the weather, and some zoning restrictions, you could park a nice, used travel trailer on their property, and have your own space. Any small home structure on their property would most likely have to be physically connected to their house because of zoning regulations.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
A small house is a great idea. I would do that. I don't know much about the situation but would you still be able to work on your own or would their ranch be able to provide you with an income? Family and working together is always great but you need to have a future separate from them if the need arises.
those are all topics that we are still discussing. The situation came up as my son in laws father passed away very suddenly and was his partner and helper. I'm looking into finding some remote work that I can do while the kids are at home and don't need me to help.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
A small house for your own space sounds ideal. Would a temporary solution be a trailer in the spot where you would like to put a little house? That would put you there but give you separation?
I asked about having my mobile home moved here, but my son in law is very opposed to mobile homes and doesn't want one on his land.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
Depending on the weather, and some zoning restrictions, you could park a nice, used travel trailer on their property, and have your own space. Any small home structure on their property would most likely have to be physically connected to their house because of zoning regulations.
I've been looking at a few travel trailers and considering what the pros and cons may be. As far as building a small house or shed to house they have a spot in the back that used to have a workshop/greenhouse that is already to be reconnected to electric and plumbing.
 

·
Sock puppet reinstated
Joined
·
23,787 Posts
those are all topics that we are still discussing. The situation came up as my son in laws father passed away very suddenly and was his partner and helper. I'm looking into finding some remote work that I can do while the kids are at home and don't need me to help.
I like that idea. It is great to be there with family and to help them. It is just not great, to not be cognizant of the fact that it might not work out. Therefore a small home on wheels is the way to go imo.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #14
I like that idea. It is great to be there with family and to help them. It is just not great, to not be cognizant of the fact that it might not work out. Therefore a small home on wheels is the way to go imo.
Before I got called to come here I was helping my son 3 counties over with his boys...a house on wheels might be the gypsy granny nanny trick I need. I just have no knowledge of how to care for or maintain one.
 

·
Sock puppet reinstated
Joined
·
23,787 Posts


I also believe that you could ask here and get lots of good answers.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
24,253 Posts
At least look into putting up a shed that could be your space. You could eat and sleep in their house but still have your own space to do what you want away from the family. I would get at least a 12 foot by 20 foot shed.

I'm sorry your life was turned upside down.

Think about what YOU want to do. This is the time to put yourself first and follow your heart. What would make you happy?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,713 Posts
It's hard! I just divided my house in two. Upstairs is an apartment. Kitchen and bath living room and bath. My daughter husband and one kid moved home. Even split its hard. Noice. Kid comes down to visit. My animal s bark or get out. Its a pain in the butt. Home school with covid is a huge stresser. Had to buy internet. They use my washer dryer. Not paying anything toward electric bill as yet. All i can say is it would be way better to have your on home and drive over few times a month. And not be a live in maid baby sitter school teach farm hand and cook. Living in a basement cant be nice without walls heat kitchen and bathroom. I wouldnt do it. Same with moving into parents home to tend them. Same nightmare
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,069 Posts
@Rb's Memaw You said, Before I got called to come here I was helping my son 3 counties over with his boys...a house on wheels might be the gypsy granny nanny trick I need. I just have no knowledge of how to care for or maintain one

What about reaching out to these folks - Family Motor Coach Association.
(Family Motor Coach Association | The Best of RV Travel Clubs | FMCA) They have offices all over and could maybe suggest some folks in your area you could talk with, maybe take a look at different people's rigs, etc.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
At least look into putting up a shed that could be your space. You could eat and sleep in their house but still have your own space to do what you want away from the family. I would get at least a 12 foot by 20 foot shed.

I'm sorry your life was turned upside down.

Think about what YOU want to do. This is the time to put yourself first and follow your heart. What would make you happy?
I'm looking into the costs of that. I would love to just even have a bedroom and bathroom away from all of the people. The kids and grandkids don't bother me, but they seem to have quite a lot of company. Now starts firearms season and the house will be full of folks who came to hunt. I enjoy privacy, and that is making this harder than I feel like it should be.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,713 Posts
One point i think people older people overlook about the tiny home idea. They cost a good bit. You have everything built in. No place to put your things. Guess if you had no possessions it would be fine. But down sizing to little to nothing but a few pots and pans dishes clothes shoes would be hard. Like what do you do with grategrandmoms china or dining set. Whatever. Sell or give everything away. What about quilters or other hobby stuff. Dont think those item s would work in a closet size house..
Building a free standing house in the back yard might add property tax for the kids. New septic tank water lines power ect.
 
1 - 20 of 54 Posts
Top