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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
"The Boss" and I have been together for over 6 years, and married 4 1/2. It' not been easy, and we are both full of habits and quirks that irk each other :) But, you know what? I love my husband very much, and this point was brought home even more during the holidays.

No, it wasn't due to a gift he got for me or extra money we had...it was listening to family and relatives complain about their spouses in a nasty vein--one female relative and her husband have been on again/off again for the past few years, enough to where she moved into an apartment of her own in the same complex to spend time alone :confused: Another male relative confessed that his wife and him have been (unexpectedly to other family) on the outs as she has become more and more "high maintenance" as his income has risen. Now, my husband and I are far from perfect and we've had our issues but I'd hate to think that seeing all of these problems all around us brings us closer together and more thankful for each other every day...does anyone else follow the old adage of making it a point to not go to bed angry?

I REALLY love my husband! :happy::happy:
 

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Another male relative confessed that his wife and him have been (unexpectedly to other family) on the outs as she has become more and more "high maintenance" as his income has risen.
I thought about becoming 'high maintenance' at one time but my husband can't afford it and it just seemed like so much work on me. So, I gave up the idea. :bouncy:
 

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Ahhh, high maintenance women drive me NUTS. I went with a friend for a week long trip. All my stuff was in a suitcase and overnight bag. She, however, had 3 suitcases and a huge travel bag. My dresser had: mascara (cover girl or whatever was on sale at the time), eyeliner, powder, one tub of the 3 way eyeshadow and a run of the mill all over moisturizer, and a comb.

She had: 3 each mascara, 5 different eyeliners, 3 different palates of eyeshadow, foundations, concealers and cover up powders, two or three different moisturizers, super high end shampoos and conditioners, and the list goes on. All top of the line.

My hubby loves that I am low maintenence. I rarely wear any makeup and can go from mucking a stable to the store without thinking twice!

Your hubby sounds like a wonderful, kind, patient and caring man.
 

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There are definitely times when having a view into others' marriages makes me appreciate my own more. I think that's why God gives us friends with annoying wives. ;-)
 

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There are definitely times when having a view into others' marriages makes me appreciate my own more. I think that's why God gives us friends with annoying wives. ;-)
... or husbands :rolleyes:

I, too, adore my husband. He accepts me, with all my faults, just as I am, while encouraging me to be the best I can be. Kind of like I do for him.

A successful marriage takes two, and it helps if you like and respect each other. People who don't like or respect each other become demanding and critical, which doesn't contribute to marital felicity, so far as I'm concerned.

I still find it hard to believe how some people publicly complain about and put down their spouses and children. It becomes especially annoying when they do it (making themselves look spoiled and self-centered while they are doing it) and then the next week (day, hour... :rolleyes: ) are going on about how wonderful they really are.

I've long been a proponent of talking things out with the person in question if you have a problem, rather than airing your grievances to the general population -- something that I don't see a lot of elsewhere, actually.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
There are definitely times when having a view into others' marriages makes me appreciate my own more. I think that's why God gives us friends with annoying wives. ;-)
Perfectly said, and yes--oh so funny and true! :D
 

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I have very little patience with people who criticize their spouses or air they marital challenges to anyone. It really doesn't say much about their loyalty.

In the past 30 years, Roger and I have had a good many rough times, but they stay between the two of us. (Except for the kleenex in the laundry kinda' stuff!).
 

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There is, as always, a balance to all things. I don't agree with airing your spouse's faults, in general, but it can help to talk issues out with a third party.

That said, you should be trying to address all issues directly with your spouse. I'm just saying that there are times that other men can say "yes, we've struggled with that too - here's what we did about it.."

I think the key is that you don't talk about issues with your spouse that you haven't discussed with them and you don't talk about them in a way that changes the listener's opinion about them.
 

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Before I got married I worked in an office full of unhappily married women. At least that was what I figured out from all the complaints & negative comments. I swore that if I ever married I wouldn't criticize my dh publicly. I finally did marry & I've kept my promise. For nearly 22 years! :dance:
 

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My wife and I were out at a store two days ago working with a salesman. We were having our usual fun together, when the sales guy just looked at us and said "wow, you two are really happy together."

It didnt really mean that much at the time, but later one it made me think that he might not be having the same kind of life.

We support each other 100% in public, we are always there for the other. Do we fight? Of couse, but short and far apart.

I do have a buddy that i will swap "wife bit........ing" with, and I am sure that she have a friend out there that she complains about my stuff to, but we will always have each other.
 

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Well, DH and I have been together for over 30 years now and I don't think either of us is going anywhere. We've had our ups and downs like everyone else, but if nothing else, we're each smart enough to know we have a good relationship going on. It works for us and that's all that counts. Might not be the prettiest thing you'd ever want to see, but we're tough.
 

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Thank you to everyone on this thread!
All I ever see and hear about is husband-bashing and that is very depressing to a guy who hopes to marry some day!

I am VERY happy to see that some women appreciate their husbands.
 

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I'll tell you what.. I might vent privately with a woman friend about my husband's..er.. quirks, but I would NEVER run him down or snipe at him in public! I don't even do it when we're alone. It is disrespectful and just plain rude.

Plus, if he tried that stunt on me I'd probably rip portions of his anatomy off and feed them to him.

Rude, rude, rude, behavior. Makes EVERYONE uncomfortable so you can feel like you're some sort of ... what? I mean, what can you possibly gain from this sort of behavior?

Ooops... can you tell we had a trying visit....?
 

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I've never understood the "airing of dirty laundry" to all and sundry either. I went through some truly tough times with my first husband (alcoholic) but I rarely complained to anyone.

Now DH and I rarely fight about anything, and he has come to appreciate that not all women are nagging, high-maintenance bimbos. :dance: (I've asked him why he married her, he said it seemed like a good idea at the time. :rolleyes:) We are suited to each other in just about every way there is. Sure, he does things that are irritating to me, now and then, but I'm sure I bug him on occasion too. That's life!

The in-law bashing thing has always been hard to understand too. Maybe I've been lucky. My first mother- and father-in-law were the sweetest people you'd ever want to meet. My current in-laws are great, too, although DH's mother isn't well.

ETA: We do have one irreconcileable difference - I like olives on my pizza and he doesn't. :viking:
 

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I guess those of us in happy marriages, just don't complain as much. Guess we should all speak up like this once in awhile, just so folks like Brewswain, won't get scared off by the thought of marriage!
It makes me sad to read the posts some people write to complain about their marriages and spouses. I can only send them best wishes that things will improve, or they will find the strength to end things and get on with life, to perhaps find happiness with someone else.
I feel very blessed to have found a partner who is perfect for me. Note, I didn't say PERFECT, but perfect for me. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else.
 

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i'm also glad to read this thread:clap: i used to whine about DH for what? to join the club i guess.
then i realized it just made me look bad. heck i choose him! and really my friends hubbys make mine look good more often then not! they get big jewlery and stuff but treated like dirt.
i get love,respect, help, politeness, loyalty, and maybe jewlery once a blue moon-- i'll take it :bouncy:
i also know i can count on him taking care of us... he was laidoff right before thanksgiving and i really know it will be fine, we will be fine, because we will be together as a family no matter what.
just recently we were told by his brother that "its great to see you guys still in love after all this time" (15yrs) he said it inspired him. he has been divorced for 5 years. another brother is getting divorced and my own brothers marrige is rocky. i'm sick of all this divorce garbage....
we still like each other in a very simple way. we just get along.
it makes me glad to read about other couples doing the same.....just getting along:clap:
 

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My parents never argued in front of us children, never complained about each other to anyone. Then suddenly, when I was pushing 30 & still unmarried, my mother started making very negative comments about being married. This worried me more & more, so I finally cornered her & asked her outright: "Are you & Daddy thinking of getting divorced?"

She looked horrified & said no & what made you think that? So I explained that her negative comments were worrying me. Turned out she was trying to make me feel better about not being married! :rolleyes:

I made her understand that I was perfectly happy as I was & had no intention of getting married. Tho I did meet my dh a few years later.

My last thoughts as a single woman as I walked down that aisle were: "What am I doing???? TURN & RUN!!!!"

I'm glad I didn't. :dance:
 

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This is the kind of thread that I like! I love my husband and he is a very good man that I respect (helps in the love department). :) He is a great husband who treats me very well and always loves me. Impossible to pick a fight with (not that I enjoy that but every once in a blue moon I'll realize that I am just trying to start something - go for a walk and all is well). He is a great father who loves his children and they know it too.

We tease each other all of the time and are still twitterpated after 21 years of marriage. I've almost known him longer than I didn't know him (met him when I was 22, married at 23). I figure if my biggest complaints are: 1) doesn't always pick up his socks 2) Is aggravatingly right almost all of the time and 3) claims that labor (as in having babies) is always harder on him than it is on me (he is NOT right on this one!!!) then I am sitting pretty. :)

BTW, I won't complain about my husband to anyone, ever. I think that the other folks who made this decision were very wise, and yes, I am breaking my arm patting myself on the back for choosing to behave this way. It really makes me cringe to hear some women trash/deeply criticize their husbands.

Congratulations to all of the happy marriages out there - and good husbands!
 

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We recently attended a church service with a new preacher who was preaching how Men must lead and women must follow head of family stuff .
I suppose for some that might work, I dont feel it would work for us .
I joke that I couldnt walk in and say Im the boss and thats all there is to it because My home contains far too many loaded fire arms and my wife knows how to use each of them .
Shes my partner, soul mate, best friend, and equal.
If your not happy with your spouse why be married .
 
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