I dont' understand. Maybe someone can explain it to me.

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by sancraft, Jan 15, 2007.

  1. sancraft

    sancraft Well-Known Member

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    I was watching a few minutes of Feed the Children. This woman, whose husband dies 10 yrs ago with AIDS, now has AIDS herself and is raising 6 children in the slums. The youngest, about 2 yrs old is HIV positive. Several of the children were under 10, so that rules out her having them before the husband died. It just seems to me that if I'm literally staving to death and HIV positive and have children that I already can't feed, why on earth would I have more. If I haven't eaten in 3 days and some man is giving me the hairy eyeball, unless he has wrapped himself in steak and potatoes, I don't see being the least bit interested. Maybe if these people would stop having children, they could end their problems. ANyone else have any thoughts on this?
     
  2. ladycat

    ladycat Chicken Mafioso Staff Member

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    I've never had the best feeling about Feed the Children. I think they give people a script to read for the commercials. Some of the stories seem phony to me. And if they're feeding irresponsible people, I don't want to support them anyhow.

    I have a GOOD feeling about Samaritan's Purse. I'd give them a million dollars if I had it laying around. They don't just give hand outs, they actively try to get people on their feet and independent.
     

  3. Beaners

    Beaners Incubator Addict

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    I don't know anything about the charity in question, but I've seen a lot of women think having a man will mean things are better. He may not have been wrapped in steak and potatoes but he may have been willing to buy something off the dollar menu at McDonalds. Just what I've seen, I don't know how well it applies to this situation.

    Kayleigh
     
  4. jen74145

    jen74145 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Or perhaps she was trying to get her children fed in the only way available to her... oldest profession and all that... and she thought risking having another child was worth feeding the ones she had, at least for a day?
     
  5. Tracy Rimmer

    Tracy Rimmer CF, Classroom & Books Mod Supporter

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    How do you think she's feeding them, and herself? There are few "social programs" to help -- and a lot of them who NEED help.

    And birth control isn't AVAILABLE, much less FREELY available.

    You also have to understand that in that culture, many children means that you will be taken care of when you are unable to care for yourself. Children die, as do many adults, at a young age -- so you have MANY children, just to make sure.

    It's not what your or I would do, but it is life for them.
     
  6. susieM

    susieM Well-Known Member

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    People WILL continue to have sex...for love or security, or even by rape.
     
  7. Sharon in NY

    Sharon in NY Well-Known Member

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    Let's see - in a society where everyone is poor and the culture is heavily patriarchal, she was a widow with small children, no source of income and in desperate need. Hmmm.... I wonder why she might have developed a relationship or a profession with some man/men? Maybe to keep her kids fed?
    Birth control is expensive in Africa. Food is expensive. Widows have virtually no options to feed themselves and their kids. What would you do in those circumstances? Let the kids starve? I know I'd do whatever it took.

    Sharon
     
  8. hunter gatherer

    hunter gatherer Well-Known Member

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    Okay. I know we have a serious topic at hand, but I can't stop chuckling over the "hairy eyeball". So that's what that's called!

    I can't wait to share this with my husband as he seems to have perfected it!
     
  9. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    I think even if you could have the exact same upbringing, and the exact same experiences as another person you still would not react to situtations in exactly the same manner.

    The responses have given some very good examples of the possiblities as to why the woman continues to have children. Let me add one more, with all the fear, hurt, sadness, and other tragedy in this woman's life, the joy of giving birth might be her only moments of happiness. Something we all seem to wish to repeat...our moments of happiness.

    Hugs
    marlene
     
  10. chamoisee

    chamoisee Well-Known Member

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    I didn't watch it, so I'll give you my best opinion on it. A lot of single mothers end up like that, and contrary to what people say, I don't think it's because they want oodles of babies to get maximum welfare.

    It's really hard to survive as a single mother. Having a man around not only lends companionship and a father figure, but also increases the standard of living for the children- *if* you can get him to stick around, and *if* he doesn't turn out to be a jerk. I've seen an awful lot of women either keep a man because they can't afford to get rid of him, or take one on because they can't pay the rent.

    She should have been on birth control, but birth control fails (ask me how I know). I even know someone who got her tubes tied AND was on massive doses of birth control (hormone therapy), hadn't had a period in four whole years, and got pregnant. It happens.

    I don't think people who have HIV ought to have children (get fixed) or sex (unless with another + partner), but I can imagine that it'd be pretty lonely and desolate to have HIV. And with the life extendeding drugs for it, how realistic is it to expect someone to be absolutely alone for perhaps decades?
     
  11. Anita in NC

    Anita in NC Well-Known Member

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    Gee, doesn't sound much different than it is here in the good old USA. Think of all the people here that have kids, that can't afford them, aren't married, living on welfare but they still manage to find the time for sex.

    You could at least argue that people here should know better and have a lot more resources to help them with birth control, education, medical needs, food, housing etc...
     
  12. fastbackpony

    fastbackpony Well-Known Member

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    There is a huge difference in culture in africa.

    The women are taught to respect the men. (and do what they want)

    When a girl gets her first cycle, she is considered a woman, even though she is only 13 or so yrs. old. There is a big party for this girl, announcing to all the community that she is an adult now. The girls are taught at this time, if a man comes to your room / tent - you must let him in. It doesn't matter who it is, or when it is, they come in and you say OK.

    So . . . . she doesn't have much chance does she ? Its announced that she's OPEN for business, and the men can wander around to anybody's rooms at any time, there is no protection from their parents, or even their husbands, and you are taught from a very early age to never say no.

    Its a whole different world there, and most don't know anything different exsists. They aren't being irresponsible, they are doing what they've been taught.
     
  13. ladycat

    ladycat Chicken Mafioso Staff Member

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    The OP never mentioned Africa, but everyone is assuming that. Am I missing something?
     
  14. A'sta at Hofstead

    A'sta at Hofstead Turkey Wrangler

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    Are you sure this is true? Is this every culture in Africa? Seems very uncivilized and perhaps propaganda. Do you have a link?
     
  15. A'sta at Hofstead

    A'sta at Hofstead Turkey Wrangler

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    Assumptions were made that is for sure! Good Catch ladycat.
     
  16. Shygal

    Shygal Unreality star Supporter

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    I didnt assume it was Africa, I assumed it was the US?

    And I agree, maybe that is how she is keeping her children fed as it is. Im not in a position to judge her.
     
  17. ladycat

    ladycat Chicken Mafioso Staff Member

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    I did too.
     
  18. A'sta at Hofstead

    A'sta at Hofstead Turkey Wrangler

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    Sancraft - was it a third world country?
     
  19. giddy

    giddy Well-Known Member

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    Did it say that they were all her children? Maybe no one else wanted HIV positive children to take care of. Heck, here in America we have people who don't want healthy children, imagine how they would be if they were HIV?
     
  20. SherryR

    SherryR Well-Known Member

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    A few years ago, I think 'Feed the Children' (could be mistaken) or some other charity was blasted with a lawsuit, and there were employees of the association that were caught red handed stealing donations of clothing, food, toiletries, etc. One person was arrested with a box of shoes, on which he'd written, 'Merry Christmas to me'. There were numerous scumbags in that organization that were caught stealing, money as well. Dont give your money to them. There's plenty of good ones, I'm sure, (no I cant prove it).
    Remember the'United Way"? In the army, we were 'convinced' to give of our money to a 'good cause'. I've watched them over the years; yeh, good cause all right. I sure helped those starving ceo's . . . and their girlfriends.
    Sherry